In the last interracial marriage blog post, me and John told you guys about the reactions from family and friends… Today we talk about the reactions from strangers. Some of the questions I’ve received in email (and in person from new-ish friends oddly enough) are:
- Do people think you two are not together when you go out?
- Do people say anything to you in public?
- What are people’s reactions and how do you deal with it?
Short answer: Yes. We get stared at sometimes. But honestly I think it’s because we’re just so damn good looking 😉
Seriously, there are very few times where people have “come out of pocket” with us. The subway was good for that. There were a few confrontations from random guys who had something to say to us, usually due to liquid courage… but usually our interaction with people is just normal and happy go lucky. We’ve been together many years and I’d say we’ll get a rude comment or a weird happening maybe once a year.
I notice a lot of women in interracial relationships saying how people are always staring and always giving them dirty looks… maybe they’re in like kkk central or something, or maybe they’re just giving off a weird vibe themselves, or are just looking for that… We honestly don’t get too many dirty looks. We do get looked at though, but, so does everyone else.
That said…we’re in NYC. When we’re on vacation (Florida, DR, Mexico, Cruises, Caribbean islands) we get stared at like crazy. Like Crazy. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable….I gotta say, it would take a lot for me to feel uncomfortable if I’m out with John….but it is kinda wierd to feel like a spectacle. That’s when we get the curious strangers who ask the “How did you two meet?” type questions.
Oh my goodness, that just reminded me of our first trip to DR when we met another interracial couple (black man, white woman) on the resort and we were having drinks and the girl said to me something like “look everyone’s staring at us because we’re mixed couples” I looked around and not a daggone body was even paying us any attention. I guess she was just uncomfortable for some reason.
Definitely when we’re out with Roey we get more looks, I think because people are intrigued to see what the baby looks like…and I don’t think it’s race related…it’s just that babies are adorable and attract attention.
As for people thinking we’re not together...I know it has happened a couple times at restaurants. Nothing offensive by any means. I’ve made that mistake myself when I was working as a hostess.
Overall, unless we’re passing by those black isrealite dudes that “preach” about the dangers of the white devil on the city streets, we don’t have much negative reactions from people. Oh! I’ve noticed people (read: girls) looking down at my hand recently though…that’s new. I’ve noticed that lately when I’m with John or when I’m out with the baby. (Is that a “thing” now? Was that always happening and I just never noticed? ::shrug:: )
How I deal with people staring is to either ignore them, stare back, smile, or wave. Depending on my mood and general annoyance level for the day. Waving is usually the best tactic. But if it’s just a stank look I’ll just give em a:
And go about my business.
If it’s a rude comment and John starts going back and forth with the person I try to calm him down and we’ll leave the situation because I don’t want to have to bail him out for hurting some dummy. Luckily there hasn’t been any confrontation while we’re with Roey…and hopefully there never will be.