How to Avoid Getting Punched in the Face by A Pregnant Woman

March 6, 2014 by 3 Comments

bitchfest

I should’ve really entitled this: How to avoid getting punched in the face by a pregnant Dani…. but I’m sure other preggo sisters can relate…Here’s what not to say to any pregnant woman…especially one that’s quick with a left hook. I’m just venting. Leave me alone! ::sobs::

You’re Huge!

So are you bitch…but I’m pregnant. Um…there’s a human being growing inside me. She’s popping out in two weeks dummy. What do you expect?

Seriously, I’m not sure why any woman would say this to another, pregnant or not, why are you commenting on her size in a negative way. Build a sista up, don’t rip her down. Fat shaming, skinny shaming. Why is it everywhere these days it seems? Ugh.

You’re trying for a natural birth this time…right?

Excuse me? Doctor? Why are you so concerned with how my child is coming into the world? Are you birthing her? Stay in your lane.

I get that the politics of child birth is big these days, but the only vag you need to be concerned with is your own, unless you’re an OBGyn or a Midwife. Have several seats. Preferably far from my ladyparts.

Back to back! / Just Two (yea right) / You and John are definitely going for more!

Nope. We’re two and through. But glad you’re so invested in my reproductive system. My uterus is sorry she missed your calls, but she’ll get back to you when she has some free time.

Poor Rohan will be old news soon!

Um…maybe you replaced your children as more came along, but my son is not old news and never will be. He’s getting a new title of big brother, and is just as special as he ever was.

You must be so tired. / You’re gunna be so tired.

You must be too, cuz girl that luggage under your eyes…..

Of course I’m tired. I’m lugging around 30something extra pounds, chasing a toddler and cant get a wink of sleep. Soon there will be a newborn with no sense of night or day ruling over our household. Yes, I’m going to be so tired.  WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING POINT?

Girls are so much better than boys!

I hope you don’t say that in front of your children. Maybe that’s the truth in your house. But both of my kids are gunna be awesome as hell. Sorry. Yes, I’m ready for tea parties, pink and bows, but blocks, the never-ending vehicle parade, and dinos are fun too.

When you were pregnant did you get any comments that made you want to get violent?

 

 

Filed Under: My Life, Pregnancy, Pregnancy #2

More Bang For My Diaper-Buying Buck

March 4, 2014 by 1 Comment

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well beginnings diaper review well-beginnings-logo-610x305

We were not flush with cash growing up, but we always had what we needed. My family was always great with money. Spending more on the things they valued, and saving everywhere they could. My mom always taught me to get the most bang for my buck, save, “pay” myself first, but not be such a penny-pincher that you didn’t enjoy what money could buy.

Now that they’ve moved up in financial standing, my mom is all “oh Dan, we must buy it…we’re LOSING money not buying it….” LOL…. but I digress…

I’m grateful for the financial lessons I was taught growing up, both by observation, and implicit lessons. I’m now able to balance John’s different way of viewing money and spending, and I know my children will learn to be good and balanced with money too. Being smart with our money leads us to be more open to trying different brands of products and happily we tend to find new fave brands that are often cheaper than our old faves!

You guys already know, I’ve got one lil poop monster and another mini poop monster on the way. I’m working at home, heavily pregnant, pinching our pennies, and my time is limited. Everything I can do to get more bang for my buck is essential. I’m open to all.

 

well beginnings diaper image

 

The Well Beginnings diapers are one of the “bang for buck” products I use. Easy to pick up at the Walgreens around the corner, and easy on my wallet and budget too.

More importantly, they work well, stay dry on Roey’s butt after pee, and holds up well overnight. I used to use them when Roey was younger and my only gripe was that they weren’t as soft and snuggly as other brands. But now that Roey’s bigger I’m not concerned with the softness as much. They’re soft enough, surprisingly thin yet hold a good amount without being soaky.  My fave part is they fit him well and he’s a mover and a shaker and they hold up!

I’m glad I’ve got another brand of diaper in my arsenal of “go-to” brands. Good thing I was open to finding one that was more bang for my buck!

Have you discovered any new brands you like recently?

well beginnings diaper review

Filed Under: Mommyhood, Money Honey, Reviews

I Am Not the Nanny! But Please Mistake Me For One!

March 3, 2014 by 12 Comments

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(Pours out liquor for the fallen strands….)

Well….

It finally happened.

I smugly read other black mom’s accounts of being mistaken for the nanny of their biracial (or even just light skinned) kids, or asked “where did you get them” and other questions of a retarded, racially insensitive mind….I smugly thought, Oh…you’re in —enter random backwards southern state here— and I’m in NYC….that won’t happen to me.

Think again Dani.

It happened.

I was asked “Is he yours?”

And my answer was “Of course!” in a ….*cough* certain tone… topped off with a look of “are you fuckin stupid, lady?”

You know, afterward I was fuming.

And you also know I had all kindsa good snarky responses that I should’ve given that popped into my head after the rude offender was out of earshot.

ARGH! Why does that happen? I’m gunna have to learn to be more clever on my feet dammit. :)

I’m not even gunna go deeper into this episode, cuz I know you’re my people and you already feel me, and already “get it.”

I’m just glad it’s the only encounter I’ve had (so far).

*********************

All that said…. I’ve decided, there is a time that I DO want to be mistaken for the nanny.

(Yea, I said it… keep readin’)

We’re taking a cruise/beach vacay in December or January. I’m gunna have both Roey and his lil sister frolicking on the shore, and I hope to be so fit and so trim and soooo whittled in my middle that nobody in their right mind would think I’m the mother of these two little babies.  :) #realtalk I want them to see us, then look over at John and wonder if he’s a widower…lol (I’ll have to have them magically not notice the stretch marks….but ssshhhh….leave me to my fantasy.)

I. Cannot. Wait. to be cleared to work out. I’m gunna get a beach body…with BeachBody, lol. Shaun T, Tony Horton, here comes ya girl!

Have you gotten any stupid comments about anything lately?

Filed Under: Interracial Marriage, My Life

March 2014

March 1, 2014 by Leave a Comment

hello march via karina poirier

What a fast paced year we’re having. January was stressful with finding a place and preparing to move. February was hectic with settling in, trying to make this place a home… and now here we are… due date month. I’m happy to be in March, and a wee bit closer to some warmer weather. So sick of the snowstorms and icy temps. Also lightweight sick of being pregnant and uncomfortable, so I’m happy to be closer to the birth of my little girl.

I sat down a couple nights ago to write out my goals for March, and had to take a pause. Is there really anything to do this month other than having a successful cesarean, a successful birth, beginning recovery and enjoying a healthy baby girl?

YES!

Yes there is!!!

There’s lots to be done. *But nothing as important as the above*

**************************

TO DO

BEFORE BABYH2.0

  • Wash all of her clothes/sheets/blankets etc.
  • Wash and sterilize all of Roey’s old bottles and breast pump parts
  • Pack hospital bag and buy whatever I may need for it
  • Get apartment organized and decorated fully
  • Pre-blog so there’s not too much “dead air” here
  • Make a few big meals to freeze: soup, chili, lasagna
  • Buy immediately needed items: diapers, nipple cream
  • Get all my pieces in before deadline and take on no new projects
  • Get a freakin haircut
  • Have a date night with the husband

AFTER BABYH2.0

  • Try to survive life with a cray cray toddler, newborn, and body that feels like death warmed over

**************************

I’m happy to be participating in Stephanie St. Claire’s 7 Miracles in a Month course again for March. Why don’t you join me?! Check it out. (I’m not an affiliate or anything, I get nothing for sharing, besides satisfaction….it’s just a great course)

Miracle #1 for March: I get to go to BlogHer’14 this year

Miracle #2 for March: Well, she arrives on the 20th.

Can’t wait to see what else manifests in this miraculous month :)

What’s your March plan?

Filed Under: My Life

Second Pregnancy: 36 Weeks Pregnant with Baby #2

February 28, 2014 by 14 Comments

36 weeks letter to baby okdani blog

We just got home from a tour of the hospital where we’ll be delivering BabyH2.0. While I was there, my doc’s office called to let me know my c-section date, and doctor.

I’m going to have a daughter on March 20, 2014.

It seems CRAZY knowing her birthday. Just….crazy.

The doctor is a woman, an African American woman at that. I felt a whole lot better knowing my doctor was going to be a woman. Yes, I know there will be 5011 people in the operating room, seeing all my wares down below….but knowing that the main person in charge has a vagina too….somehow made me feel happy. lol!

Anywaaaay…

The hospital was great, clean, quiet, well staffed, the nurses were all so nice (no nasty attitudes), and in love with Rohan. My fave part: I don’t have to share a room after surgery! After Rohan’s birth, I shared a room with a woman who had a cesarean emergency just like me and at the same time as me. Somehow this chick was walking around, laughing, peeing, pooping, bending to pick stuff up, like it was nothing! Meanwhile I was dying in pain, and could barely shuffle around in recovery. I wanted to hate her, but all I could do was be jealous, wonder if something was wrong with me and cry. No post-surgery comparisons to lower my recovery-self-esteem  this time!! hooray!

So…36 Weeks. When was my last update? 30? 32? Sheesh!! My bad.

Time is flying and standing still all at once.

AND NOW THE SURVEY

How Far Along? 36 Weeks! I wish I could slow the clock down just a bit and enjoy having just my little boy…but I am also anxious to meet my lil girl.

Symptoms: Oh gosh, where to begin. How about everything. EVERY pregnancy symptom….I have it.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 31 lbs gained so far!! I’m gunna ask the doctor to just pull out all the fat she can find when she’s pulling out the baby.

Maternity Clothes: My maternity clothes are getting smaller… They must be shrinking in the dryer….yeah…

Stretch Marks: I think I have gotten more on each side :( I’m still using that Bio Oil though, and praying!

Sleep: I’m not sleeping well at all. I wake up every 2 hours to pee. I need my pillow fortress adjusted perfectly or I cannot rest. And I need to toss and turn exactly four thousand times before anything feels remotely comfortable.

Food Cravings: A lot of sweet juice. Salty anything. And oreos. Lots of oreos. Oddly still wanting salads. Everything gives me heartburn though so while I love it…I hate everything I put into my mouth. FML

Best Moment This Week: Best moment this week was definitely finding out her birthday, and also the sonogram we had earlier in the week. She was covering her face from us….with her foot. She’s super bendy!

Movement: Oh she moves a bunch. Doin the fetal kick count thing is a breeze.

Labor Signs: none! and I don’t want any at all.

Belly Button In Or Out?  Out as ever. And pointy to boot. But sometimes she’ll go to one side of me and the belly and bellybutton will flatten. It’s creepy.

What I Miss:  Sleeping well. Moving around easily. Feeling strong. Feeling agile. Feeling awake. Feeling like my brain is working. Being able to breathe. Sex.

What I Am Looking Forward To:  3 weeks from now when I meet my bundle. But more immediately I’m looking forward to getting this house in order and buying the stuff we still need for her. Everyone’s asking about a registry. I feel bad asking for things if we’re not having a shower. What say you?

Milestones: Having the birthday scheduled!!

Weekly Wisdom:  F the whole world, do what makes you happy. Sleep whenever/wherever/however you can.

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Filed Under: Pregnancy #2
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