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Interracial Marriage: John’s Response

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John just posted this in the comments of the last interracial marriage post but I wanted to share especially since his feelings were requested in some of the emails:

I find the “swirl” thing just kind of bizarre. I have a friend/acquaintance who was creeping me out after finding out that my wife was black. He wanted to see pictures of her and I guess really objectifies women as many men and women do. My wife is not an object. And no i didnt show him pictures. This guy is my age. Im 35. The awesome part is he told me he loves to sleep with black women but wouldnt marry one. Okeydokey buddy. He’s a minority himself. Which I expect better from minorities and their ignorance but I suppose I shouldn’t.

I know forming groups and connections is a natural thing for us humans but we should be able to realize when it makes sense and when the groups or divisions are just illogical. As a minority I would expect him to realize “hey, i’ve seen prejudice. its fucked up and not cool, let me not do it.” but unfortunately that is really not the case.

What did your dad say when you brought Danielle home?

Just the usual. Tease me like we’re both in 6th grade.

Do your families approve of your relationship?

Most of them I would imagine. My immediate family is just happy when I’m happy. I have some that I dont speak to much that are probably mortified I’ve married outside of our race.

Do your friends approve?

the ones that matter do. Again if any of them disapprove not only could they go f*ck themselves but I dont care what they think.
Are you the only interracial relationship in your family / circle of friends?

No. Its pretty common here in the NY metro area thank god.

This is the future. Welcome to the year 2000. I hate to sound like sesame street but what matters is on the inside. Given enough time we will all consider one another, regardless of skin color, ethnic background, and so on, one race of people. At a maximum any two individuals, no matter where they come from or what color they are have only a 0.1% difference genetically. So any differences we may see as major are actually very minor. Its about time we realize that the idea of race might be real. I have peach skin, that guy has brown skin, are there any real tangible differences that makes one worse or better than the other that are directly tied to race? None that I know of. That way of thinking is primitive and its about time its dealt with. I understand black people aren’t lazy and not all hispanics carry knives and not all irish people drink. actually i think the last one is true but i digress.

I dont love Danielle because she has brown skin, although I love her brown skin. I fell in love with her and still love her because of her mind. She is my intellectual counterpart. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd. It usually rubs me the wrong way. This is one of those times.

 

(I heart him!)

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LaShawn

Saturday 23rd of February 2013

Ok he's a keeper. GREAT response.

Tenecia

Friday 22nd of February 2013

I'm diggin' everything about these posts!

T.

KalleyC

Friday 22nd of February 2013

Great response from John. Glad that both side were supportive. We had a uphill battle, but when they saw this was real, they with backed off or walked away.

Carissa

Thursday 21st of February 2013

GO JOHN!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS RESPONSE!!!!!

Monique

Wednesday 20th of February 2013

Dani, I'm really glad that it wasn't a "thing" on both sides of your families. My family and my husband's were also very open and supportive.

You two both have a great head on your shoulders and Roey is so lucky to have you.

Dani

Thursday 21st of February 2013

I'm glad your families were supportive as well. I know that ultimately they just want us happy and with good people who treat us right. Thank you for saying that! Your little bear is lucky to have you and your husband as well. I can't wait to e-meet the lil bundle and see what amazing finds you put him/her in that cost like .03cents. #hatinghardonyourfashionsenseandmoneysavingsensibilities

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