A Crackhead Story

I gotta tell you this…

About a month or two ago, a little shrunken, wrinkley old lady came to my door.  She had her head and eyes lowered and told me a story:

“There was a tragedy, the Martinez boy in the next building passed away this morning.  He was 5 years old and he got electrocuted.”

Me: *GASP* OMG what happened?

“He touched the back of the family’s TV and his hands were wet.”

Me:

At this point I realized she was not some gossiping old lady, but someone trying to hit me up for cash…I said:  That’s terrible.

She goes: “So we’re going around the neighborhood collecting what we can to help her bury her son.”

This is where she raised her face/eyes to me and I noticed her mouth was devoid of teeth and her mustache was thicker than John’s (and somehow jet black though her hair was gray)….

*gag*

Anyway…I apologized, told her I didn’t carry cash but was happy to donate online with my credit card if there was a website or something set up…..

I couldn’t even get my sentence out before she rolled her eyes and walked away.

Fast forward to last night:

Guess who knocked on my door!!!

I recognized this crackhead shyster immediately, but I guess all the crack made her forget she’s visited my door before.  She gave me the same exact story about that poor Martinez boy!  I had to start laughing, I told her, I remember this story from the last time he died and she said “Thank You!” and scurried away.  HAHHAA

WTF?!!

I’m laughing even as I write this.  You can’t make these things up folks.