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I Am Not the Nanny! But Please Mistake Me For One!


(Pours out liquor for the fallen strands….)


It finally happened.

I smugly read other black mom’s accounts of being mistaken for the nanny of their biracial (or even just light skinned) kids, or asked “where did you get them” and other questions of a retarded, racially insensitive mind….I smugly thought, Oh…you’re in —enter random backwards southern state here— and I’m in NYC….that won’t happen to me.

Think again Dani.

It happened.

I was asked “Is he yours?”

And my answer was “Of course!” in a ….*cough* certain tone… topped off with a look of “are you fuckin stupid, lady?”

You know, afterward I was fuming.

And you also know I had all kindsa good snarky responses that I should’ve given that popped into my head after the rude offender was out of earshot.
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ARGH! Why does that happen? I’m gunna have to learn to be more clever on my feet dammit.
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I’m not even gunna go deeper into this episode, cuz I know you’re my people and you already feel me, and already “get it.”

I’m just glad it’s the only encounter I’ve had (so far).


All that said…. I’ve decided, there is a time that I DO want to be mistaken for the nanny.

(Yea, I said it… keep readin’)

We’re taking a cruise/beach vacay in December or January. I’m gunna have both Roey and his lil sister frolicking on the shore, and I hope to be so fit and so trim and soooo whittled in my middle that nobody in their right mind would think I’m the mother of these two little babies.  🙂 #realtalk I want them to see us, then look over at John and wonder if he’s a widower…lol (I’ll have to have them magically not notice the stretch marks….but ssshhhh….leave me to my fantasy.)

I. Cannot. Wait. to be cleared to work out. I’m gunna get a beach body…with BeachBody, lol. Shaun T, Tony Horton, here comes ya girl!

Have you gotten any stupid comments about anything lately?

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Monday 12th of June 2017

Ugh. Not only have I been mistaken for the Nanny, but growing up in a biracial family, people used to not believe that my parents were actually my parents. There were some rough situations that took place while growing up.


Monday 20th of April 2015

I know I'm late to this conversation, but U feel I MUST add--

When I had my daughter, I woke up in my lovely hospital room. I called for the nurse and asked for my baby. She said she'd contact the nursery. The second nurse, an old white woman, comes in with a baby in a bassinet, lifts this child and places her in my arms. She goes, "Lovely baby, just darling." And I said, "Yes, she's quite lovely, but this isn't MY baby." She goes, "There aren't any other colored babies in the nursery, she is yours; lots of moms just forget what their babies look like right after birth."

I wanted to punch her in her throat. I put the baby back into the bassinet and charged into the nursery, guns a blazing. I went from one bassinet to the next until I found my daughter, who was very fair skinned with light freckles. That old woman was yelling to call security, that I'm crazy, that I think "that white baby" is mine. From what I could gather from the chatter at the nurses station, because it was right outside my door, the woman was suspended until the matter was investigated. I had so many administrators come and apologise it would make your head spin.

And that is my addition. Just thought I would share.

Tanay Howard

Monday 10th of March 2014

I've just concluded that some ppl think it's completely ok to just talk without thinking at all

KalleyC @BloggingWhileNursing

Tuesday 4th of March 2014

Yup, it happened to me when my daughter was first born. The people who said it were people who've seen me pregnant, and I've lived in the same building with them for like 5 years. Crazy people. These days with two, there is no mistake they are mine. My little girl looks like me when I was 5 and my son looks like my husband. But yup, even here in NYC people still ask silly questions!


Monday 3rd of March 2014

I am black(light skinned) and my husband is fair skinned latino, both my son and daughter are his complexion. I don't think people question my son being mine because he is my identical but my daughter on the other hand looks completely Ecuadorian. This being said I try not to make Assumptions about families with varies skin tones. A while back I took my son to toddler music class and commented to one mother how cute her boys were (she appeared to be Hispanic, as did they) and she said she was in fact the nanny. Not to be rude but she had a bit of a belly and they were around 6 months. She was not offended or matter a factly at all. However another woman there was Caucasian with a boy who was brown(black) and this time I assumed nanny( a lot of nannies in the class) and she was the mother. I do not think most people want to offend you just never know and sometimes anything you say can offend. Not that it is anyone's business if it is your child but in conversation if someone wanted to point out how cute your kid is it may be brought up. Though some people just like to be nosey and go about inquiring very ignorantly. And I completely feel you on that beach body!

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