(Pours out liquor for the fallen strands….)
Well….
It finally happened.
I smugly read other black mom’s accounts of being mistaken for the nanny of their biracial (or even just light skinned) kids, or asked “where did you get them” and other questions of a retarded, racially insensitive mind….I smugly thought, Oh…you’re in —enter random backwards southern state here— and I’m in NYC….that won’t happen to me.
Think again Dani.
It happened.
I was asked “Is he yours?”
And my answer was “Of course!” in a ….*cough* certain tone… topped off with a look of “are you fuckin stupid, lady?”
You know, afterward I was fuming.
And you also know I had all kindsa good snarky responses that I should’ve given that popped into my head after the rude offender was out of earshot.
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ARGH! Why does that happen? I’m gunna have to learn to be more clever on my feet dammit.
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🙂
I’m not even gunna go deeper into this episode, cuz I know you’re my people and you already feel me, and already “get it.”
I’m just glad it’s the only encounter I’ve had (so far).
*********************
All that said…. I’ve decided, there is a time that I DO want to be mistaken for the nanny.
(Yea, I said it… keep readin’)
We’re taking a cruise/beach vacay in December or January. I’m gunna have both Roey and his lil sister frolicking on the shore, and I hope to be so fit and so trim and soooo whittled in my middle that nobody in their right mind would think I’m the mother of these two little babies. 🙂 #realtalk I want them to see us, then look over at John and wonder if he’s a widower…lol (I’ll have to have them magically not notice the stretch marks….but ssshhhh….leave me to my fantasy.)
I. Cannot. Wait. to be cleared to work out. I’m gunna get a beach body…with BeachBody, lol. Shaun T, Tony Horton, here comes ya girl!
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People are so stupid! First off yes your son is lighter than you…but to me he is your twin!!! People dont think before they say stuff…if they just looked at you two together Im sure they could tell he is your son (if I can see it on pictures, Im sure they can tell being face to face with you)!!! My husband and I were just talking the other day about how crazy people are about skin complexions/race…when Emma was born EVERYONE had an issue with her not being Darrick’s complexion. They just couldnt believe that she was going to stay close to my color, and hell we are both black! Its like they are going to have something to say no matter what!!! I cant wait to hear your response the next time…because you will be ready!!! LOL!!
You know, I have to wonder about people’s mental capacities too girl because he DOES look just like me. Anyone can see he’s a light little me with a penis. We’re just in a crazy colorstruck world I guess. And heaven forbid Emma be your complexion and not Darrick’s…the world is coming to an end!!! Gimme a break. What did you say to the comments?
Well there was one guy from my church who would act like he was joking about it EVERY sunday…he would say stuff like wow she didnt get any color over the past week…so one day I told him he could stop with the jokes…let it go, give it up she’s my color but looks JUST LIKE Darrick…so go ahead and process it…but really just let it go!!!
LOL atta girl, shut it DOWN!! Did he listen? Was he offended? F him either way.
It is unbelievable that in 2014 people are still confused by varying skintones within families, and are still rude enough to actually step to people to question them. WOW. I actually experienced the same thing as a child, Dani. My mom is dark skinned and when I was around your son’s age I was much lighter than she was and people had some RIDICULOUS things to tell her. APART from thinking there was no way I could be hers, we’re from a Caribbean island so some of them even had superstitious reasons for trying to ‘warn’ her about bringing harm to me. Apparently the belief in the old days was that dark skinned people looking at light skinned people cause ‘evil spirits’ to torment them. Someone even gave her some special jewellery for me to wear to protect me…from HER!! She was frequently told “you could give the child maljo” (‘bad eye’ in patois). Needless to say she would throw that crap outside. One one occasion some random woman even pinched me ‘to give me good luck’, and she pinched the woman back! LOLL. She would (and still does) go from zero to mama bear in an instant. She jokes about it now, but I know all these things hurt her.
Take heart Dani. And I agree with Carissa…Roey is your TWIN so clearly that woman is EXTRA dumb.
On another note, I’m so excited for you having the baby girl you wanted so much. You make gorgeous babies so I’m sure she’ll be breathtaking 🙂
You are too hilarious but I feel you! I don’t have any kids but I plan on getting beach body ready w/ Brazil Butt Lift (BB Team) =)
The biggest annoying comments I continue to get are “When you have kids they’ll have beautiful hair!!” because my husband isn’t black… How do they know my genes won’t kick in and yield hair as curly & glorious as their mommy? I could go on & on but I won’t because I know everyone knows where I’m going with this =)
Yay for team BB!! And yes, we know exactly where you’re going…but OMG it’s crazy that people say things w/o thinking….It’s like…um…do you think you’re complimenting me or something? They’ll have beautiful hair because I HAVE BEAUTIFUL HAIR DAMMIT….and then flash it in their face as you prance away lol
IKR!!! I definitely try to take it as a compliment but goodness no one ever says stuff like that when it’s straight only when it’s curly & they see his straight hair -_- I want to scream curly is way better than your boring straight hair!! But I can’t just in case my future child’s hair is straight…
A few months ago I was on a day trip and a lady and I started talking (she was White). She said she was a nurse and I said that my mom was a nurse anesthetist (which is much harder than regular nursing). The White lady said, “Oh! She must have gotten into that before they started requiring licenses.”
Girl. I wanted to knock her in the face.
I said, “No. She’s has her license. Was there a time you could become an anesthetist without having a license?”
She stumbled out some nonsense and tried to backtrack. Heffa.
What an idiot!!!! I’m glad you said something to her… I bet it was funny watching her try to backtrack lol
Oh god!!! Do ppl think before they speak?!?! At all?!???!
I am black(light skinned) and my husband is fair skinned latino, both my son and daughter are his complexion. I don’t think people question my son being mine because he is my identical but my daughter on the other hand looks completely Ecuadorian. This being said I try not to make Assumptions about families with varies skin tones.
A while back I took my son to toddler music class and commented to one mother how cute her boys were (she appeared to be Hispanic, as did they) and she said she was in fact the nanny. Not to be rude but she had a bit of a belly and they were around 6 months. She was not offended or matter a factly at all. However another woman there was Caucasian with a boy who was brown(black) and this time I assumed nanny( a lot of nannies in the class) and she was the mother.
I do not think most people want to offend you just never know and sometimes anything you say can offend. Not that it is anyone’s business if it is your child but in conversation if someone wanted to point out how cute your kid is it may be brought up. Though some people just like to be nosey and go about inquiring very ignorantly.
And I completely feel you on that beach body!
Yup, it happened to me when my daughter was first born. The people who said it were people who’ve seen me pregnant, and I’ve lived in the same building with them for like 5 years. Crazy people. These days with two, there is no mistake they are mine. My little girl looks like me when I was 5 and my son looks like my husband. But yup, even here in NYC people still ask silly questions!
I’ve just concluded that some ppl think it’s completely ok to just talk without thinking at all
I know I’m late to this conversation, but U feel I MUST add–
When I had my daughter, I woke up in my lovely hospital room. I called for the nurse and asked for my baby. She said she’d contact the nursery. The second nurse, an old white woman, comes in with a baby in a bassinet, lifts this child and places her in my arms. She goes, “Lovely baby, just darling.” And I said, “Yes, she’s quite lovely, but this isn’t MY baby.” She goes, “There aren’t any other colored babies in the nursery, she is yours; lots of moms just forget what their babies look like right after birth.”
I wanted to punch her in her throat. I put the baby back into the bassinet and charged into the nursery, guns a blazing. I went from one bassinet to the next until I found my daughter, who was very fair skinned with light freckles. That old woman was yelling to call security, that I’m crazy, that I think “that white baby” is mine. From what I could gather from the chatter at the nurses station, because it was right outside my door, the woman was suspended until the matter was investigated. I had so many administrators come and apologise it would make your head spin.
And that is my addition. Just thought I would share.
Ugh. Not only have I been mistaken for the Nanny, but growing up in a biracial family, people used to not believe that my parents were actually my parents. There were some rough situations that took place while growing up.