I went to change my name on all my important documents yesterday. (oh yeah, and on facebook too)
I meant to take John’s surname, I really did…..but I ended up hyphenating.
I love John and want us to be one family and all, but I don’t want to let go of “the old me” so abruptly.
He thinks it’s a bad omen that I didn’t want to take his name immediately. 🙁
Am I a bad wife?
I’ve had my name forever. I’m attached to it ya know. It’s an awesome name. It’s strong. It’s different. It’s an opera and a really good book. It served as my first name all through high school and college. It’s ME.
Shortly after John and I announced our engagement, his mom invited us over for a celebratory dinner. At some point during the night, she pulled me aside conspiratorially and asked if I’m really ready to be a ______ (John’s Surname). She laughed and said, “it’s okay if you’re not. I didn’t want that name either! Your children are gunna get teased ya know.” And she laughed and left me in the corner to pray my kids are bigger than the bullies in their school.
My friend thinks I’m just hesitant to take his name because I don’t like it. I
bitched vented complained talked to her and she shut me down with the most insensitive insightful words: “oh stop it dan, if he had a cute last name we wouldn’t be having this conversation would we, now go change your name, horsey.”
(what a witch! lol)
I think it’s more than just that. (tho i have always maintained that I would marry someone with the last name Alexander so my name could be Danielle Alexander – and don’t forget our children Joshua Alexander and Corrine Alexander….so perfect. ::sigh::)
Granted John and his brother were both called an animal nickname all the way through school….and work…and I’m sure the same fate awaits my poor children, but I feel like what the name is matters little, and the fact that I have to replace my own with it is what’s really bugging me. Who is this new person with this new name?
I know it’s completely irrational, but I feel like it’s insulting my dad somehow. Like now that I’m a married woman, this awesome name I’ve had forever is now trashed and I have to take on this new identity from here on out. (Thank God I have a brother, he’s going to have to have like 7 boy children so the name can live on!)
I’m going to miss my short and sweet name. I think eventually when I get used to John’s name I’ll stop hyphenating. (I know that’ll make John happy) I just didn’t expect to have such a strong emotional reaction to changing my name.
Did you take your hubby’s name? Do you love your new name? Did your hubby care if you changed your name or not? Were you a weirdo like me and had a last name you wanted to marry into when you were younger? hehe Will I ever get over my new name fears?