Ok, Dani

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Ex-Boyfriends & Ex-Husband

May 20, 2011 by Dani Faust 19 Comments

If you're new here, sign up for the FREE 5-Day Manifesting Breakthrough Challenge! . And then, join me in my group, Manifest It Sis on Facebook! We have lots of fun over there. Thanks for visiting!

Welcome back!! Have you signed up for the FREE 5-Day Manifesting Breakthrough Challenge?! .

 

I know, I know, I’m re-married now, so I shouldn’t be blathering on about my exes…I mean…they’re exes for a reason right!?  Well, I know I don’t talk about it much, so I just wanted to share with you.

I figured I’d let you in to a bit more of my past.

First up:
My longterm man turned ex-boo:

Idris Elba.  

Because he’s sexy as hell, an incredible actor, has a cute accent and was on my fave show ever (the Wire)

Why’d we break up you ask?  Oh, cuz he likes getting strippers pregnant.  ::sigh::

Oh Idris. We couldda been so good together

Here’s My First Husband:

Val Kilmer (shutup)

We fell in love when he was Madmartigan (in Willow) and I was….like….5.

Because he looked like this on our wedding day:

And he was in one of my fave movies, Tombstone, being all cowboygangsta even as he died.

Why’d we break up you ask?  Well, he disappeared for 10 years and popped back into my life looking like a goddamn caveman.

Where was he all that time?  How dare he leave me for so long! Did he really think I would wait for him?

And why is he doing movies with 50Cent? You’re better than that.

I mean… really?

Yum                                   Yummer                                     CRIPES!

After our divorce I will admit…I was a bit of a floozy.  I cut loose.

Jumping from man,

he left me for a girl w/ a fake ass

to man,

it was a mutual breakup, he’s into athletic chics now

to man,

tyson-beckford-
I was his beard. I didn’t mind.

to man,

matt_damon
he faked his boston accent, i felt betrayed and broke it off

to man,

img-mos-def-thumb
GULP…..he’s still got my heart

to old man,

got him outta my system

to tiny man,

I don’t do criminals…anymore.

Until I said enough is enough!

And settled down with my man 🙂

 
Tell me about YOUR “exes”! (or currents lol) 🙂 Happy Friday! 
Follow me on Twitter @DanielleFaust

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Filed Under: Wedding/Marriage

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Comments

  1. Faith says

    May 20, 2011 at 11:51 am

    what a FUN post! hahahahaha!!! the caveman comment made me laugh out loud! too funny!

    please … my ex's … i don't even know who they are anymore, haha … jk.

    Reply
  2. Ashley says

    May 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    LOL..love this post! I love me some Common 🙂

    Reply
  3. herlucidsKy says

    May 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    Now this was hilarious!!!!!! Great post..ahhaaahaaa

    Reply
  4. Ketta says

    May 20, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Oooh Weee I LOVE me some Mos Def :). I also love Paul Walker just so I can stare at him

    Reply
  5. Shika says

    May 20, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    LOL! Cute!

    Reply
  6. Dani @ OK, Dani says

    May 20, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    @faith – glad i made you laugh 🙂 happy friday!

    @ashley – gotta love him. yum

    @herlucidsky – glad you enjoyed it!

    @ketta – i will cut you over mos, watch it.
    but paul's a cutie too

    @shika – thanks 🙂

    Reply
  7. everythingiric says

    May 20, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Lmao – especially at Val Kilmer coming back as a caveman. You certainly have great taste – hello Idris! Congrats on settling down with your man.

    Reply
  8. Nini says

    May 21, 2011 at 2:21 am

    LOL! The pic of Val Kilmer next to the cave man!!

    Reply
  9. Mrs. Green says

    May 21, 2011 at 3:04 am

    LOVE it!!! Lol toooo funny. And they is all foiiine girl!!! Im still juggling all of them. Lol!!!

    Reply
  10. Tenecia says

    May 21, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Seriously, what the hell happened to Val Kilmer?!?!!? The old Val was eaten by the current Val….it's sad really.

    Oh…and I thought I should let you know…since Common is into athletic chicks…he's totally into me now…don't hate… 😉

    T.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    May 21, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    I Love this post! Paul Walker is mine…don't start none it won't be none(LOL) T.I. holds a special place in my heart, but I only love him at a distance…too much drama!

    Reply
  12. sarah says

    May 22, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    this is cute! i do something similar on my blog called Man Candy, so i am right there with ya, especially on Reggie Bush. sheesh.

    Reply
  13. Lisa says

    May 23, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    AHAHA, I love it! I have so many crushes and a few that you mentioned! LL is one of my BIG crushes ever since Mama said knock you out =) Ryan Gossling, John Cena, Bruce Willis, John Statham, I could go on…. I love it!

    Reply
  14. uniqzoe says

    May 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Love this post. I had to laugh at the Val Kilmer reference.Such a great list, I must admit that I have an odd ex… one such P.Diddy, Puff, Puff Daddy whichever personality he is today. He won me over with his drive for success and lost me with the ego. LOL!

    Reply
  15. Dani @ OK, Dani says

    May 23, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    @everything – thanks! who are your exes?

    @Nini – you know they're twins!

    @Mrs Green – you're jugglin eh? Don't lemme tell Big Easy!

    @Tenecia – I saw you posing, you can have Common. You EARNED him. 🙂

    @Anonymous – Paul Walkers a cutie!

    @Sarah – so sad, after me his taste went down the drain. Poor Reggie 🙂

    @Lisa – You know, you have a distinct type Cena, Willis, Statham….Gossling just doesn't fit! Where he come from?! 🙂

    @uniqzoe – Diddy? (BARF!!) Glad he's your ex girl…::shudder:: But i feel you on his drive and business savvy. (even tho he's a douche)

    Reply
  16. Dya. says

    May 25, 2011 at 12:03 am

    LOL! This was so great! I am in LOVE with Brandon Boyd from Incubus. I told my husband that if he ever wanted to get married… we're through! lol thanks for the laugh!

    Reply
  17. Mommy Fabulous says

    May 28, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Awesome post! I was diggin TI too, but he has to get it together!

    Reply

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