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Ex-Boyfriends & Ex-Husband

 

I know, I know, I’m re-married now, so I shouldn’t be blathering on about my exes…I mean…they’re exes for a reason right!?  Well, I know I don’t talk about it much, so I just wanted to share with you.

I figured I’d let you in to a bit more of my past.

First up:
My longterm man turned ex-boo:

Idris Elba.  

Because he’s sexy as hell, an incredible actor, has a cute accent and was on my fave show ever (the Wire)

Why’d we break up you ask?  Oh, cuz he likes getting strippers pregnant.  ::sigh::

Oh Idris. We couldda been so good together

Here’s My First Husband:

Val Kilmer (shutup)

We fell in love when he was Madmartigan (in Willow) and I was….like….5.

Because he looked like this on our wedding day:

And he was in one of my fave movies, Tombstone, being all cowboygangsta even as he died.

Why’d we break up you ask?  Well, he disappeared for 10 years and popped back into my life looking like a goddamn caveman.

Where was he all that time?  How dare he leave me for so long! Did he really think I would wait for him?

And why is he doing movies with 50Cent? You’re better than that.

I mean… really?

Yum                                   Yummer                                     CRIPES!

After our divorce I will admit…I was a bit of a floozy.  I cut loose.

Jumping from man,

he left me for a girl w/ a fake ass

to man,

it was a mutual breakup, he’s into athletic chics now

to man,

tyson-beckford-
I was his beard. I didn’t mind.

to man,

matt_damon
he faked his boston accent, i felt betrayed and broke it off

to man,

img-mos-def-thumb
GULP…..he’s still got my heart

to old man,

got him outta my system

to tiny man,

I don’t do criminals…anymore.

Until I said enough is enough!

And settled down with my man 🙂

Tell me about YOUR “exes”! (or currents lol) 🙂 Happy Friday! 

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Mommy Fabulous

Saturday 28th of May 2011

Awesome post! I was diggin TI too, but he has to get it together!

Dya.

Wednesday 25th of May 2011

LOL! This was so great! I am in LOVE with Brandon Boyd from Incubus. I told my husband that if he ever wanted to get married... we're through! lol thanks for the laugh!

Dani @ OK, Dani

Monday 23rd of May 2011

@everything - thanks! who are your exes?

@Nini - you know they're twins!

@Mrs Green - you're jugglin eh? Don't lemme tell Big Easy!

@Tenecia - I saw you posing, you can have Common. You EARNED him. :)

@Anonymous - Paul Walkers a cutie!

@Sarah - so sad, after me his taste went down the drain. Poor Reggie :)

@Lisa - You know, you have a distinct type Cena, Willis, Statham....Gossling just doesn't fit! Where he come from?! :)

@uniqzoe - Diddy? (BARF!!) Glad he's your ex girl...::shudder:: But i feel you on his drive and business savvy. (even tho he's a douche)

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