We’ve talked about interracial marriages a bit here, huh. If you’ve missed any “editions” check them out here: Interracial Marriage Blog Posts
Cruises
OK, so we’re cruising and having a good time. Rohan is one of the very small amount of babies on board, (not to mention he’s just the cutest thing ever) so naturally he attracts a lot of attention. Most people gave the usual compliments of oh he’s so cute, precious god bless him bla bla bla…
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but some people made some….different comments.
“People have been calling Roey a ‘nice mix’ like he’s a dog or something.” John says to me one night. He went on to say he knows they didn’t’ mean it in a bad way, and they probably don’t know many mixed families etc. My gut feeling is that he’s probably right, but I still didn’t like it.
This cruise was also the most “starey” ever. John, Roey and I were like JayZ, Beyonce and Blue. Everybody would stare at us. Some with smiles, and some with….other kind of faces. It was strange. I just smiled and waved, like Beyonce would lol. Most of the times that made people look away quickly.
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I want to say they were staring cuz we’re just an awesome looking family, or maybe because we were markedly younger than the majority of the other passengers…but…real talk…you know when someone’s a racist fuck thinking yucky things. And that’s what was going on quite often on the cruise. It felt so ugly.
Do you get stared at a lot? How do you handle it?
Which brings me to:
Commercials
I’d never seen this commercial before today on BabyMakingMachine’s blog:
How cute is that? Seriously!
What I love about it, besides the ADORABLE lil girl, is that it’s not a “black” commercial. Commericals these days seems to make a white, black and latin (in spanish) version. Have you noticed? And then in the black version there’s the stereotypey slang talking and wahtnot. But this commercial was “race-free” and could’ve been done exactly the same with a white family, asian family, hispanic family etc.
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However, this was an interracial family and people went up in arms about it. Being a wicked cynic, my first thought was that people were only upset because it was a black man/white woman couple. But the fact remained that people were leaving horrid racist comments on the video so much so that Cheerios had to disable commenting.
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What the F is wrong with people? Someone please tell me. I know this is a racist country (read: world) but it’s getting ridiculous. Interracial couples exist, and should be portrayed more often in mainstream media. There are boatload of mixed people who deserve to see representations of themselves and their families on TV and in print just as much as others.
What do you think?
The commenters on the post where I found this commercial had a lot to say…(I commented too)
Which brings me to:
*cough*
Colorblind
White people. (and anyone else who says this stuff) Listen to me carefully. You do not have to say “I don’t see color” or “I’m colorblind” in order to let people know you’re not a racist. Really, if you don’t see color you need to head to the opthalmologist and get that checked out. I understand what you’re trying to say, but those trite comments seem disingenuous. (because they’re false) We all know you see color. So say what you really mean.
One of the commenters on the post mentioned that she didnt realize the father was black. C’mon lady. We know you saw the brown skin, so be honest and say that it just didn’t matter to you that he was black and the mom was white. It’s OK to speak the actual truth of your feelings about race. If more people did, whether the feelings are good, bad, confused or other, we’d be able to have a more truthful dialogue about things.
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I completely agree with you!! I have a white boyfriend and we live together in London and I’m not going to lie – I cannot wait till we have beautiful mixed race babies!! All my friends say it and I have no qualms with that. I like to think people don’t think at all differently of us for being a couple but I know that if I took him to one of my ‘nigerian parties’ he would get a hell of a lot of looks. One acquaintance actually asked me what it was like having a white boyfriend!! It took my parents a long time to accept I wasn’t bringing home a good Nigerian boy and I’m not naive to think that our cultural differences won’t sometimes rear their head (trying to work out how to mix a scottish nigerian wedding blend is going to be interesting!) but I like our differences and working towards a bright future together!
Ramble over!! Really liked the post!
I’d be very interested in how you do the Nigerian/Scottish wedding! I am a white, Scottish girl and I am apparently going to marry a Nigerian. Thinking of how we’d blend the two together… Ceilidhing and boogying… different bands switching over. Lots of fun all round!
I’m really glad you mentioned the, “I don’t see color” thing because it really bothers me. I think the people who say that are the ones who see it most but just don’t want anyone to think negative of them. It’s annoying at best.
“Do you get stared at a lot? How do you handle it?”
My husband and I are a BW/WM couple living in Minneapolis, MN, so we get stares occasionally. For the most part it’s fine for us to deal with, nice stare or not-so-nice stare, we don’t give a flip. However, since I am now visibly pregnant, I have noticed (mainly from white people) the not-nice staring. I could practically see them fighting how uncomfortable/judgmental/disgusted they are when they see my my husband and I. I just chuck it up to the fact that they’re old and/or wearing their ass-hat.
“Cheerios video – What do you think?”
My reaction was similar to yours. It’s so freakin’ cute!! My preggy hormones were all crazy when I watched it, think I didn’t cry?! LOL! She poured cereal all over his heart – so adorable I couldn’t. even. handle it. Also, I was impressed that she put it in the anatomically correct area. As far as people leaving the crazy racist comments, I also wondered if it would have been as bad if it were a black woman and a white male couple. Those reactions were just the ugly side of the internet out in full regalia that day. Most of the people making those posts wouldn’t dare walk up to an interracial couple in real life and make those awful statements. Besides, it’s cereal. IT’S EFFING CEREAL!! If this is what racist people choose to concentrate their hateful energy on, a cereal commercial, then ……………they are really hanging on……
“Colorblind”
Yeahhhh, I’m with you on that one as well. People saying they are colorblind is such a naive statement. All it says to me is that they are not yet at that point in life where they can have a serious and honest discussion about race, gender, abilities, etc. and be okay with being uncomfortable and open to learning something new about themselves. This was a good post!
BTW, your blog is really helping me through my pregnancy right now. I am a first time mom. Our son is due in October. I like reading your past posts on the weekly updates throughout your pregnancy. In particular, I like that the posts were broken down by how far along, weight gain/loss, sleep, etc. It helps to know that some of the changes that my body has been going through are normal.
Oh Lawd don’t get me started on this topic! LOL! Some folks can be generally nice about saying “a nice mix” which I’ve heard with our family and have taken to mean Nia’s a good blend of the both of us but *you* know in your gut when folks are trying to be racial about it. I wrote about our racist incident on the cruise and thankfully the dude was shamed by his fellow white cruisemates surrounding him, but I definitely think the idiots are in the minority . . About the commercial, I actually thought the creative agency went a bit soft not even showing the couple together – keeping them in separate rooms was definitely a strategy IMO (this coming from someone who worked in advertising for 8 years – every second of the commercial is carefully thought out and planned to a T). Seeing the idiot comments on this commercial made me think, “People *do* realize we have a bi-racial president, don’t they?” Or was it that Obama’s more acceptable because his parents weren’t together?! Anyway, yes, we are not a post-racial country in any way, shape or form and if anyone thinks so they are super-delusional. ::vent over::
I’m surprised, yet not surprised that the commercial is an issue. What I find crazy is someone saying your child is a “nice mix”. I have never heard that before. It sounds like you were mixing paint or something. Crazy. People say and do stupid ish all the time. I hate that “I don’t see color” crap too! Oh and your family is awesome looking too! 🙂
This made me so sad to read. Your family is lovely. I live in Mississippi unfortunately but close to Memphis TN. I want out of here so badly. It’s the south and the rebel flags are hanging everywhere but even when you can tell they are thinking mean things they don’t say them. I’m mean, they aren’t going anywhere and neither are we. LOL I just can’t believe with all that’s going on people still care that much about race. The best way to hurt them is to be filled with happiness while they drown in stupidity.
I think people have a bigger issue with a BM/WW due to the negative stereotypes and stigmas of being a black man in America. Whites see successful black women (Oprah, Tia & Tamera, etc.) but then the black men that are successful are rappers (Pop that p*ssy/molly, she’s my b*tch, tap dat a*s, twerk, etc.) or men that do stupid sh*t.
The colorblind thing: I correct people when they say “I’m colorblind” or “I don’t see color”. Usually I say something like, “What you mean to say is that you don’t judge people by their skin color. It’s obvious that I’m black, but you don’t care about that. You know that I’m this hilarious, energetic, classy woman and you love spending time with me!”
I’m currently writing a blog post about the ridiculous “I don’t see color” line that people love to use. Makes, Me. Crazy. Anyway, I love this commercial, it was so sweet and caring. And think about it, the mom and dad weren’t even in the same room! They didn’t touch, kiss, even speak to each other yet so many people went batcrap crazy over this. It just shows how far our country hasn’t come.
My nieces are from England and they describe themselves as “Half-cast” and I had to explain to the whole family how that was offensive and ugly. Sometimes people really don’t know until they are educated on some topics.
Speaking of commercials, check out these two little boys -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCYYwDcdck
Anyway, from somebody that knows, when your baby gets a little older you’ll get mistaken for the nanny. A good WTF look comes in handy.
I just happened to stumble across this article. I am not really a part of an “Interracial Coupling”, however my son’s father was part Dominican… well I suppose I am …lol!!! Anyways, I am African-American and our son was extremely light when he was born. He still is… as his father. I am a bit darker. When I would take my son out as infant I would get asked that very question. “Am I the nanny?” So, when you get the question and you will, when you tell them off as K. Hart would say “Say It With Your Chest!!!”
Hahaha!!! Say it with your chest!! Thanks for the comment Rory. I appreciate it. we have come a long way since that post.
No one cares about you white ugly husband and your two mutts! I would never ever marry a disgusting white man , I respect myself too much to stoop so low.
Dumb ass if your so worried about what other people have to say and
stares , why the hell did you marry and lay down with a flee bitten
DEVIL! FYI YOUR KIDS ARE WHITE THEY WILL NEVER EVER BE SEEN AS BLACK OR ANYTHING ELSE BUT WHITE DOGS! Your going to hell black bed wench for laying down with and having kids with the devils kin!
YOUR DOGS ARE HALF BREEDS, DEAL BED WENCH!