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Would You Tell??

So I’m on the A train this morning, trying to read Ask and it is Given in peace (great book by the way, I”m going to add it to the Resources page here.)  and I overhear a conversation.

There are two girls, they look 22ish so they’re probably 15 years old (cuz that’s how they do up here).  Girl one tells girl two that she saw her cousin’s boyfriend with another girl.  Girl2 is trying to convince Girl1 that she needs to tell her cousin what she saw and Girl1 is not having it.

Girl2 – if you don’t tell that means you’re taking his side

Girl1 – I can’t tell her she’ll get pissed at me. YOU tell her.

Girl2 – That’s your cousin, besides, I didn’t see it.

Girl1 – OK I’ll give you all the details and you tell her.

At this point I giggled and had to jump in their convo (cuz that’s just how I do)

I asked Girl1 If it was your man cheating, would you want to know?

She said:  I’d want to know yea she better tell me but then i’mma still be pissed at her.


The convo went on and I had to leave the train before a resolution came, but it seems like Girl2 had almost successfully convinced Girl1 to tell her cousin about the incident.

So, my question to you girls is: Would you tell if you saw your cousin/friend/sister/whoever’s boyfriend/husband cheating??

And, if your friend saw your man cheating, would you want to know?

I’d definitely want to know and I’d definitely tell….

PS if any of you see John lookin unsavory with someone that’s not me, you betta call, text, email, smoke signal, morse code, sign language or braille me so I can murder him.  Thanks!

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Sunday 7th of August 2011

i would tell and i def. would want to know! just the right thing to do. esp. if it is a close friend or family member ... they deserve to know because i can't let anyone i know and love be played like that.


Saturday 6th of August 2011

Yep, if it was a friend I'd tell and I'd expect the same. Anyone else, no. I have friends of friends who cheat and I've witnessed it, but don't consider it my business considering the terms of my relationship with the cheater.


Saturday 6th of August 2011

WOW - excellent topic! I have seen both sides of this fence. When I was younger - I absolutely would tell at the drop of a dime. I would be on the phone calling my girlfriend -on location!!Now, while I was in college, I witnessed my BEST friend's boyfriend with another girl in his dorm room. I told her - she didn't speak to me for a year. The day she spoke to me, was the day she caught him. I was devastated. Since then, I have not told. I guess now, it would depend on the person and the relationship. It can be a STICKY situation, cause if they make up, you will be outcast!!!


Friday 5th of August 2011

I would want to know. However, I feel that it would be hard to tell.


Friday 5th of August 2011

Of course, I would tell. It's the morally correct thing to do. Not to mention, how would you expect your friend/relative to ever trust you if you kept a secret like that? Plus, AIDS and stuff is out there. We need to stop worry about how ppl are going to react and start thinking about the bigger picture. Would rather sit quiet and then hear that she got some uncurable STD or would you rather potentially save her life and heart by spilling the beans?

I'm going to go with spilling the beans and my family and friends know to do the same. I've seen what keeping quiet about cheating can do to a family. It's way worst than anything that can happen if you just tell.

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