So, on a forum I frequent, there was a recent thread about pretty women and making friends.
I know it’s harder for women to make friends as adults (outside of work) after the college days are over, but some of the comments on the thread had me like:
It seemed the women felt like they were TOO BEAUTIFUL to make friends easily. (tho with such a modest personality, i’d wonder why they weren’t drowning in friendships). And so they felt they had to downplay their looks in order to not threaten all the regular looking chicks and make a pal.
Seriously?
So, if you uglify yourself, and then make a friend, do you have to be ugly every day that you hang out with her? Or, do you slowly prettify again once the regular looking chick/new friend realized your wonderful personality?
I thought the thread was interesting yet a bit odd. I don’t really think about how I look any more or any less when I’m meeting with new chicas who could possibly be new friends. I’m just the same and they’ll either like or not like me based on the everyday me, loud personality, big hair and all, not on some downplayed version.
So I’m reading this and thinking….obviously these women had social interactions in the past, that didn’t end favorably when they were looking their best. Then had positive social interactions when they downplayed their (self perceived) beauty. I wonder how their behavior and showing of their true personality changed with the change in their physical aspects. I wonder if how they ACTED had anything to do with it.
Unfortunately it’s a private forum so I cannot post the link for you. But it made me wonder if other folks felt this way. The forum is mainly about haircare, so maybe the women there are generally more looks oriented than the average woman, but I’m guessing not.
Is it harder for you to make friends as an adult? Do you downplay yourself physically when meeting new women? I’d love to know your thoughts!
I agree with you, they should go uglify themselves 🙂
You had me at "bitch please"..! 🙂
I've never judged someone based on their looks – be it good or otherwise. So to me it seems like these girls are looking for an excuse instead of focusing on the obvious: they are probably too self-absorbed to notice if someone shows interest in becoming friends with them.
I think maybe its a little harder to make friends as adults because – its like where would you make friends? Unless your life is not a routine, but for some adults, there may not be alot of opportunities to make friends.
However I do think that its probably easier to make friends as adults, because as kids some people are shy, scared of being judged or other kids are just plain mean!
On the flip side, some adults may have had so many bad experiences with friends that they dont even let knew friends in! I guess it depends…
As far as down playing ur looks, that is pure foolishness! LOL As for myself, honestly once I become friends with people, I frequently hear from them that omg when I first saw/met you I thought you were stuck up and blah, blah, blah. I dont argue with them because I hear it so often! Lol i dont kno maybe its the way I carry myself, but I love proving people wrong because that is farthest from the truth! BUT I am not gonna start walking around looking all frumpy so more people will talk to me.
If we're meant to be friends – then we will be! 🙂
Thanks for sharing Dani!
I'm a little more cynical than the ditzy blogger. I think we all judge people based on appearances, but that still doesn't make it harder for any demographic to make friends than any other group of people. You can always find people to hang with if you know where to look. I think that whole conversation is summed up in your assessment that if you think you look too good to make friends, maybe it's not your looks that's the problem, but your lack of humility.
I think that YOU are absolutely stunning, and if you can make friends they can, too.