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Babyproofing Our Marriage

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As I’m writng this, there is a hand yanking at my sweatpants waistband, and another hand swishing around inside the back/side of my pants. The perpetrator of the molestation is ignoring my protests, singing “yayayayaah” and drooling on the back of my desk chair as he invades my personal space. Before this little troublemaker was born, the only person with his hands in my pants was John.

Babies.

Change.

Everything.

I recently read (well, I read most of it) Babyproofing Your Marriage and related to about 99.99% of it. Everything that goes into having a baby, both the huge job the mommy does, from conception til….well…the day she dies, and the hard work the dad has to put in, really changes a marriage. You go from lovers to co-owners of a small day care where the clients never, ever leave.

John and I spoke about making sure to keep the spark alive, take our date nights, and stay connected, but it was hard. His schedule is wack. My sleeplessness was wack. And Roey just needed so much all the time. We had date nights, but they were so few and far between. We had taken to doing our faux date nights and being grateful if we could get through an on-demand movie in one night. Then we started taking little man along with us on date nights. #fail

We recommitted to taking our solo date nights and have been doing them every other week for now, with the goal of finding a sitter and making it a weekly event. I’m loving having grown up dinners, and seeing movies again. We have a no Roey talk rule on date nights too.

Outside of the date nights, we’re sure to connect every night and talk with no Roey talk allowed. I like remembering that I’m a woman, a lover and a wife, and viewing John as not just a dad.

Babyproofing our marriage is something we’re both committed to and have to continue to work at each day. I don’t ever want us to get stale and lose our spark.

How did you babyproof your marriage? If you haven’t yet, do you plan to?

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nellie A. (@BklynActiveMama)

Sunday 3rd of February 2013

I think my marriage is pretty baby proofed, I mean, we barely do date nights, but every night we usually end up having these long insightful talks...most times though I can't lie when we are away we talk about our boys, we can't help it.

Faith

Sunday 3rd of February 2013

He is so cute!

When we are blessed with our future children I intend on doing this. I don't ever want to forget I'm a wife as well as a mom.

Courtney

Thursday 31st of January 2013

I totally relate to this!! Its been tough getting a date night in now that my husband has been travelling so much for business, but its so necessary!! Kids seriously suck up all the extra time and energy! They are worth it, but our husbands still deserve our time too! XO

Quiana

Thursday 31st of January 2013

Your post brought this to mind: http://thehairpin.com/2013/01/that-baby-wants-to-break-you-up

Dani

Saturday 2nd of February 2013

Interesting article. Funny too. John enjoyed it.

Brittany

Thursday 31st of January 2013

I'm still working on babyproofing my marriage. Granted my daughter is only 3 weeks old but I figure it's best to make an attempt sooner rather than later. Last week my Mom was visiting and took the baby while we watched a movie in the living room. It. was.glorious. Never mind that I had to stop midway to pump and ended up falling asleep an hour before the movie ended.. Baby steps, right?

Dani

Thursday 31st of January 2013

You're good! At 3 weeks post birth I couldn't even walk upright and take normal steps. I was a hormonal mess. A date night was the farthest thing from my mind.

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