Relationships take work, you’ve heard that many times. You’ve also heard that they have their ups and downs. Both are true. During the downs John and I have put in some extra effort to keep your ship afloat on the sea of love. Was that too corny? Whateva! I’ve read and implemented the tips and techniques in many relationship books and while some have stuck and really helped us out, some were passing fads. Overall remaining happily married is a choice you have to make each day. Now, I’m not a marriage expert but I am a woman who has been (mostly) happily married since 2010 and been with the same man since the year Noah built that ark. #ijs #weold #longtimelove #est.2001
I want to share five ways to remain happily married. This is what works for us so try and see what works for you:
Weekly Marriage Meetings:
We started doing these after reading this book and so far so good. We are able to share highlights, challenges and feelings in a “safe space” dedicated just to us. We start with thanking each other for committing to the meeting, share positives (I appreciated it when you ____ this week), then negatives (i need your help with ___), and then another positive. We end the meeting with making a plan on how we’re going to work on the negatives, then housekeeping type stuff then do something fun to “celebrate.”
Luckily, I play too much. And I happened to marry a clown. If there is one thing there’s no shortage of in our house, it’s jokes. Corny as they may be, ::side eye:: we crack each other up daily. Laughing with your partner is a fun way to connect. It’s a reminder that you’re on the same page with what tickles you. If you aren’t making each other laugh, enjoy a comedy show or movie and yuk it up together. (PS tickets to your local improv is likely on groupon. Just sayin’)
This is a biggie. Growth is important for all of us. If you and your partner aren’t growing together, you’ll start to grow apart. This means different things to different people and that is the beauty of it. John and I grow together by: exploring new places together, reading books together and discussing them, working on personal development separately and together. The idea for growing together as a couple is choosing a project you both can contribute to and work on it together. The project can be anything from learning a language together, growing a veggie garden or mastering a certain style of cuisine.
You already know, so I won’t spend much time here. Quality time together counts. Folks may talk smack on a scheduled date night every week, but that time together is crucial. You are partners in this life together. If you don’t take intentional, dedicated time to connect with each other…what are you doing? Sometimes things get hairy and you can’t swing a weekly night out. It’s understandable, but be sure to do an at-home date night instead.
Choose to Love Them the Way They Need:
Yes, choose. How you treat, and react to, your spouse is a choice you make second by second. Give them love in the language they need and be sure they’re reciprocating! (Don’t get blindsided like me) By leading with love and consciously making the gentle choice to approach your partner they way they prefer, you are solidifying your happy marriage. PS: this works in ALL relationships, try it with your kids too!
::long knowing look::
So try implementing at least one of these ideas if you aren’t already doing them and notice what changes occur in your marriage. Let me know how it works out for you!
What do you do to remain happily married?