The 10 Date Nights Your Marriage Needs Now

10 types of date nights that every relationship must have. avoid date night boredom and spice up your marriage with these types of dates for date night

Are you stuck when it comes to thinking up date night ideas? All the marriage advice books and websites say you’ve got to have scheduled date nights with your partner. You hear it everywhere you turn. I’ve been with John for 15 years, married for 6, and totally agree that connection is crucial and having a planned, standing date night makes it easier to stay connected. But don’t let it get stale! You don’t want to start avoiding date night’s because it’s become too routine and boring.

I told you years ago about our date night’s getting lamer than ever. Well, happy to report we’ve stepped it up a notch (or 2) since then. We love date night, and now that we have help with the babies and can actually do them regularly we started to feel like they were getting a bit….routine again. We have recommitted to jazzing up our date nights and adding in a few different types of dates into the mix.

Here are the 10 date nights your marriage needs to spice up date night:

Super Fancy Dress Up Date

On this date you put on the fanciest dress you own and go somewhere extra elegant. These dates are usually reserved for anniversaries or other special occasions but we should sprinkle them into our general date night repertoire. It makes the date feel special when you’re gussied up and dressed to the nines.

Netflix & Chill Date

#Realtalk – this is about 50% of John and my date nights. But the “netflix and chill” date is necessary. It’s comfortable (no dressing up), it’s easy (you’re home), it’s efficient (no sitters, etc) and it’s fun. You just snuggle up with your boo for a movie (or binge-watching Stranger Things) and then… well…you’re grown! #havefun

DIY Date

The DIY date is underestimated. Doing a project together is both an awesome bonding experience, plus there’s a wonderful sense of satisfaction after completing it. It may not be the most romantic date all the time, but it can be very intimate (Think: cooking a meal together vs cleaning out the garage together). The DIY date leads to a lot of talking and connection which is the point of the date night anyway!

Surprise Date

Every marriage needs the surprise date. I suggest each partner choose one date each month to plan fully without letting the other partner know. The surprise date gets to be a really special gift from the planner to the other partner. If you’re the type A, obsessive detailed planner, (::raises hand slowly::) it may be hard to give up control, but please try. It can be fun to let go of the reigns sometimes.

Adventure Date

Get out and get wild! Try something adventurous with your mate. (Whatever that means to you.) Do a mud run or a scavenger hunt, hit the shooting range or paintball. If you have it in your area try bungee jumping, ATV riding or a ropes course. I wish I had gotten to try the trapeze lessons at Chelsea Piers before we moved out of NYC. Check Groupon for ideas and discounts!

Teach Me Date

If you and your partner have different hobbies and passions this date is perfect. One partner is the teacher and the date revolves around sharing your hobby with your mate, teaching them how to do something you love to do or all about something you are passionate about. Bonus: this is a perfect at-home date when you’re saving your pennies.

New to Both Date

It’s so much fun to discover something new together. Try a new restaurant, or type of cuisine. Head to a nearby town you haven’t explored yet (or try one of the ideas from the adventurous date). Maybe try a sport or activity neither of you have tried. Groupon and Living Social has lots of classes and date night ideas that you may not have even heard of. John found jiu jitsu lessons for us to try out soon.

Competitive Date

The competition date is always fun, but can be dangerous if you’re highly competitive people. My husband and I love each other very much but we will make anything a competition. (“I bet I cut these onions before you cut up that green pepper.” <—actual quote from my husband) Go bowling, head to the gym or for a hike, play mini golf…anything that you can have a friendly challenge. If it’s an at-home date, whip out the cards or chess set. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Double or Group Date

Adding friends to the date night routine is a great way to shake things up every now and then. More people = more fun. No coupled up friends? You can meet some via or on the Bumble dating app (there’s a BFF feature). You may meet an awesome couple nearby for more group dates…. Or, if they’re awful, you can make knowing eyes at your partner during the date and then crack jokes about the other couple later on.

Nostalgia Date

This is a fun one. Have you ever recreated your first date? Go to places you went when you first started seeing each other. If you now live in a different area you can wear something you would’ve worn, and play music you were listening to back then. On the nostalgia date you can reminisce and feel like ‘kids’ again!

Try these for more date night ideas:

Which of these date night ideas will you try next?

My SCUBA Love Story for PADI Women’s Dive Day

scuba couple

OK Girls, you’re going to have a lot of travel posts to enjoy on the blog this summer. I have more cruise tips for you as well as details on our memorial day trip to Orlando. We love to travel and for a period of a few years in a row, John and I would go back to the same area of Mexico each summer.
He would always talk about wanting to scuba dive, and while I was totally fine with snorkeling, I was petrified of diving. Being under the water so deep, no air but this little tank, sharks, plus I can barely swim… No way.

I agreed to do a “discovery class” as it was called, down in the Mayan Riviera on one of our vacations. I honestly figured, if it was too scary I’d just stay on the boat and read while John enjoys his dive. (I packed a book just in case.) John doesn’t know this but I credit that class for solidifying in my mind that John was going to be my husband for realsies.

During the Discover Scuba course I paid very close attention to the instructor’s guidelines. All the parts about how not to die…I was all ears. I had about 700 “what if” questions, and the instructor gently answered them all. I kept sneaking peeks at John to see if he was annoyed with me, but his face only showed sweet concern. During the class I’m just getting more and more nervous. Convinced it was my last hours on earth. John was just holding my hand, giving me reassuring smiles and nods, rubbing my back and telling me how he loves me and was proud of me for trying it.

love me

After the classroom part, we got geared up and went to the beach to practice the skills we just learned about. (TMI: I get the bubbleguts when I’m nervous and I also shake like a leaf and have to clench hard to chill out.) I swear my shakes were the cause of all the waves in the ocean that morning. John was just telling me it’ll be okay and how great I was doing. The instructor was very helpful as well. I guess he was used to dealing with nervous nellies.

Fast forward to after the course when we’re on our boat heading out to the big scary dangerous open water with sharks, and jellyfish, and darkness, and spooky things for my impending death… I’m shaking. I need to poo. And there is John… cool as a cucumber and reassuring me that I’m going to be fine. That I’m totally safe. Reminding me of the backup air. Telling me how he’ll not leave my side until I want him to. Letting me squeeze his hand til it’s purple. Reminding me to take a breath or two.

Time to jump off the side of the boat…backwards. WHAT?! I didn’t know about this part! Everyone else is off and in the water holding the guide rope. I’m sitting on the edge petrified like a wooden statue. John’s next to me telling me how proud he is, rubbing my shoulders, giving me reassuring eye contact and just being so patient. Before this…I don’t think I’d ever seen him as patient….ever. (And we’d been together like i dunno 7 years at this point)

The captain was getting impatient and said something I can’t even remember to John and John did that manly dont mess with me deepvoice thing to him on some “just wait a minute she’s good, she’s good.” (I SO wasn’t good.) And he sat with me for a while, as I held up the group, until I nutted up and jumped in.

SO anticlimactic too because I’m wearing a damn life vest puffed all up with air. I hit the water and just sat on top of it like… plop.  LMAO.  I had to laugh at myself. But John didn’t. He jumped in right beside me, asked me if I was okay and held my hand and we did our descent. And true to his word he was right beside me the entire time of that dive until I got all comfy and brave. (I may or may not have had one small panic attack and used up hella air in my tank…but that’s neither here nor there)


The world under water is incredible and MUST be seen first hand….even if only once. It’s just so amazing.

After we were back on the boat I knew I had to do that a billion more times. And I knew that if John could help me get over that gripping fear, without getting annoyed, upset, rushing me, and quickly regulating on the people who were… that he was a dude I needed around forever. I saw him differently from that experience on. I love how safe and loved and accepted (despite my irrational craziness) he made me feel.

After that dramatic dive I was hooked. It was in May and we went back to Mexico that August to dive some more. We both got our PADI open water diving certifications and we both want to go on to get advanced and eventually rescue certified.

So I say all that because I want to urge you to try it too!!




July 16, 2016 marks the second annual PADI Women’s Dive Day. It’s an annual celebration of women in scuba diving and provides special opportunities for more women to enter the sport of scuba diving.

During PADI Women’s Dive Day, PADI Dive Centers and Resorts, dive clubs, and other organizations around the world will offer female-friendly dives and events, ranging from first-dives to shark dives, beach clean-ups to special speaker engagements, and much more. Some PADI Dive Shops will also offer the opportunity to try scuba diving, for the first time, through the PADI Discover Scuba® Diving program. Others will focus on PADI ReActivate™, which gives lapsed divers the opportunity to refresh their scuba skills, rediscover the sport they love and reactivate their dive certifications!

The inaugural 2015 PADI Women’s Dive Day event was an historic day for diving. More than 6,000 divers from 65 countries participated in 335 special events on all seven continents. The PADI photo album on Facebook shows how women (and some with their their families) from all over the world enjoyed the 2015 event.

If you would like to participate in PADI Women’s Dive Day, you can find an event near you or get more information at

If you’re not yet a PADI-certified diver you can contact your local PADI Dive Center or Resort to get started or you can explore options in the PADI course catalog.

If you are already a PADI-certified diver who is interested in participating in a the 2016 PADI Women’s Dive Day event, please contact your local PADI Dive Center or Resort to see if they’re hosting an event – and encourage them to get involved, if they’re not already.

Visit PADI’s blogsite at


Do You Scuba Dive?

This is a sponsored blog; while the views expressed here were genuinely mine, consideration was paid to me by PADI to review this product.

Why Praying for Your Husband Doesn’t Work (and What to do Instead!)

valley of fire wedding

I am not sure if it’s a recent trend or if I just happened to stumble on the posts alltogether randomly…but I’m noticing a lot of “pray for your husband” and “why you should pray for your family” type thinkpieces and listicles. I am all for it….ish. I’m all for anything aimed at bringing a marriage together and making it stronger versus making you feel better about letting it go astray.

Praying for your husband and family’s health and well being, or a more peaceful household, or a more productive, understanding, affectionate, driven, loving household is great! (Praying for your husband or child to change his evil ways… maybe notsomuch.)

Now, I don’t follow any organized religion but I do “pray.” Pause. Let me explain. Prayer to me is not about getting on your knees with clasped hands bowing your head and asking some deity up above to help you out with something. In my opinion prayer is any mental or emotional attempt to shift energy.

So when that creepy guy at Costco is staring at you and you’re avoiding eye contact, saying go away go away go away over and over in your head, hoping he doesn’t come up to you and start a conversation… that’s prayer. When your hoping, wishing, lamenting, cursing someone out, belittling yourself in your head… any and all of that is prayer to me. Because all of that is energy in motion. I’m a firm believer that thoughts are things, and any thought, especially when imbued with emotion, are powerful and equates to “prayer.”

In terms of praying for your husband/family. I saw a few pieces on it and really liked the sentiment but was left with an…”ok, but then what?” feeling after reading it. Prayer is great. It’s useful and empowering and starts to get energy in motion… But let me tell you what’s even more powerful….


There’s a big difference in praying for something and waiting… and praying for something and then doing.

Example: You can pray every night for two months for “a hot sexy body that I love” and wait for something to happen, or… you can eat clean and work out every day for two months. Prayer may help. You may have an emotional and mental shift in how you view your body and begin to see yourself as perfect (ps: you so are.) or maybe you’ll randomly win a “mommy makeover” package from a local plastic surgeon. Either of those things are totally possible. But you know what’s probable? Getting closer to ‘a hot sexy body you love’ after two months of steady exercise and healthy eating.

Feel me?

yes gif

Prayer, intention, meditation, thoughts, hopes wishes… it’s not enough. It’s an excellent start, though. To make real change we must couple it with action. So however prayer looks like to you: a bowed head, a zen meditation, or a bonfire on the full moon with amulets and crystals in a star formation and an animal sacrifice… here are a few ways to add energy through action to the “prayer” you’re doing for your husband and/or family.

Build them up with words, daily. Out loud.

Speaking good stuff over your family is the natural progression from private prayer. Your spoken words are so powerful and can build up and empower, or break down and depress just as easily. With our children, John and I praise and empower them constantly. After finding out John’s love language is Words of Affirmation, I have been pouring into him with positivity and it shows. It makes me feel good seeing my children (and husband) beam with pride after I’ve verbally loved on ’em.

Pamper them and PAMPER YOURSELF!

I encourage you to substitute the word “pamper” with whatever quality it is you’re hoping to make manifest in your family’s lives. Spoil, Encourage, Praise, Treat, Respect, Acknowlege….just a few examples. There’s a saying that you teach people how to treat you. There’s also another saying that children *COUGH* and husbands *COUGH* do as they see and not as you say. For these reasons it’s important to not only treat them in the way you want to be treated, but also treat yourself the same way. I wanted more compliments from my husband. I not only started complimenting him more, but I also started complimenting myself, out loud…in earshot. Hearing me say “damn I look good in this outfit” and “my hair looks so cute today” has sparked something in him to let me know he notices these things as well. The children have caught on and do the same. (Although we’re working with Rohan to stop telling his sister she’s “one handsome man”)


Work on an affirming project together.

I’m a big fan of the family project. This can be anything from a family date night or at-home movie & popcorn night, a monthly family meeting/check-in, or an actual hands-on project activity. Many couples and families get together to do projects such as: vision boards, and bucket lists, art projects, planting a family herb garden, or making a family mission statement. You can also try out creating a family motto, secret handshake or dance move! The point is to shift the energy between the couple or the family. If you’re sitting around praying for your husband to stop smoking and drinking, you may not have great results. But if you convince him into join you for a walk for charity, salsa lessons, or a daily bike ride, he may realize that his not-so-healthy habits are holding him back, and may slow down or even stop.

Encourage them to pray and take actions for themselves.

If you’re praying for your husband or family member to make some sort of change in personality, habit or action (ie addiction) let me just tell you right now. You need to release that burden. It’s not yours to carry, nor does your prayer do anything to impact it directly. What you can do is encourage them to do that energy work as well as make positive moves for themselves. I’m good for suggesting books and websites (once the door has been opened or I’ve been asked for my input). Once it’s out there….let it be. Constantly bringing it up, asking (read: nagging) will not have the desired effect.

How ever you pray and to whom, doesn’t matter. As long as you follow those energetic efforts with action… you’re sure to see an effect.

Do you pray for your husband/family?

Healthy Relationship Habits To Start Today #naturemade #ic #ad

This post was sponsored by Nature Made® as a part of an Influencer Activation for Influence Central.

date night

Over Communicate

We’ve always heard that communication is crucial in relationships. It’s healthy to have open, honest communication. Taking the extra second to send a text to check in, or remind your spouse where you’ll be that night can make a major difference in both of your lives. Staying connected throughout your day increases your bond. If communication in your relationship is spotty, try a weekly meeting, or daily download chat sessions. You can also just try opening up a random conversation about something light to get both of your jaws flapping easily.


I’ve shared how John and I are in competition. This is part of our play. Remembering to play is a way of keeping your relationship fun, upbeat and fresh. It’s hard to get bored or complacent if you’re always in a light-hearted challenge, or game. Play doesn’t have to be something official like doing a race or obstacle course together. You can randomly tickle your partner, or just make a silly face to keep the mood light. Not your style? Reminding your partner of something funny you two did or saw together is one way to get laughing and open the gates to play.

Get Healthy Together

Taking care of your health is a big part of keeping your relationship healthy. We want to feel great and also look great for our partner. Start eating healthier, drinking more water and taking daily vitamins. You can begin an easy exercise routine and ramp it up as you get stronger and fitter. Gyms often offer discounts for couples joining together.

Here are some healthy habits I’ve made in 2016 to get you started:

Nature Made (the best-selling vitamin brand) is giving away 20 $50 gift cards to Walmart! Enter to win below:

Nature Made Wellness 6

I-C will randomly select 20 winners from all program entries and will handle fulfillment of the winning prizes.

Check out the Nature Made Daily Boost program when you have a moment and visit Walmart for lots of Nature Made products at a low price every day.

Remember the Kids!

kaya nature made

Parenting together makes for a healthy unit overall. It’s important to share the duties of parenting so that no feelings of resentment or overwhelm evolve. Including your kids in activities you would normally do solo or as a couple helps the family bond get stronger. Something as simple as going to Walmart as a family or taking a walk together after dinner has an impact, and (bonus) is a healthy habit you can all do together.

What healthy relationship habits do you have? 


Letter to My Husband

hi johnny

Hi Fweh,

I’m really only writing this “letter to my husband” piece today because I wrote to the kids on the blog  and it got me all in my feelsies.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m trying to thank you more. And remind you how grateful I am for you more often. Almost every day at some point while trying (uselessly) to clean up, or chasing the kids or squeezing in some blogging time, I think of how thankful I am for you.

I forget if I told you this or if I just thought it, but I think I love you more. Love you bigger, deeper somehow in the last couple months. Not that I didn’t love you with all of my heart before….but like….maybe my heart grew a few inches or something 🙂 I feel like you’re encouraging me more and being so supportive of my dreams and I am loving it. I relish that shit. On the good months you’re so congratulatory, and on the slow months you’re so encouraging that it helps fuel me forward. I feel like you’re trying to be a more intentional husband and I’m here for it. From taking over with the kids when you get home from work so I can lay the F down for a minute, to chipping away at the list of crap I can’t do that you can. I love it. (PS can you put together that table/chair set for the kids plz?)

Every day you wake up early and head to work to provide for us financially, and that’s a big responsibility. We don’t take it lightly. Really. I’m so lucky. I don’t know if you know that I know how lucky I am to have you take on that financial burden on your own. To be able to be home with our monsters and teach them and play with them and love on them all day, even when it’s horribly annoying, it’s still the most awesome thing ever. Outside of them being born healthy, being able to stay home with them is really the best gift I’ve been given, and I’m so grateful to you for giving me that. (and I’m extra grateful when auntie A & P take em and we can just be a free couple for a day or two)

Anyway, I feel like you’re growing, and expanding, maybe even becoming a little more open, and becoming a better version of yourself, and I like seeing it. #hereforit. You’re taking great care of yourself, the house, us… You’ve put a lot on the back burner for the children and I and we appreciate it. I’m glad that I’m earning more so you can have more wiggle room to not back burner the big things for much longer. #teamteamwork

So, I’m going to keep making the effort to thank you out loud, since words of affirmation are your love language, and I’m going to keep reminding you how proud I am of you. and I’m going to keep pressing forward with biz to bring in a billion dollars so you don’t have to stress it. *muah*

Love you,



I kinda like this public sharing of my letters to my kids and husband. I wonder if someone has a linkup for husband letters the way Lashawn has a linkup for letters to our children. I’m going to look for one, and if I can’t find a good one, I think I’ll start one up. Any of you bloggers reading this down for a “letters to our spouses” link up?