Avoiding Abuse ….or… The Magic Sleep Book

rabbit whoa wanted to fall asleep

So, I’m going to punch my kid in the face.

Just once.

Well, once a day.

OK, once a night really.

Just to knock him the F out…. until the morning.

Because these night time shenanigans have got me ready to kill somebody.

It’s 8pm.

We end the day with cocoa and toast. We sing a sleepy song. We read stories. Rohan gets and gives hugs and kisses. Kaya gets put into her crib. She shuts the hell up and falls asleep like a kind and good human.



Dear Rohan.

The boy suddenly has to pee!

He does it, and we put him back in bed.

He “needs something fuzzy. ”

He gets another stuffed toy and gets back  in bed.

Interesting how he now has to poop.

He does it and back to bed.

Needs (not wants, but needs) water. (but you just chugged a cup of cocoa?)

He gets a sip or two.

Now he’s in the bed screeching, singing, lights are turned on, calling for mommy for snuggles, calling for daddy to tell him about matter.

It’s 9pm.

An hour of my life (and my 8-10pm prime working time) has been spent with a preschooler who just doesn’t want to sleep.

He’s crying.

Because there’s a shadow.

We console, we comfort, we leave the room.

Light are turned back on. He’s calling out again…

I want to punch him.

I know… deep….deeeeep down that I can’t really punch him in the face and knock him out.

I could give him a lilbit of a hot toddy or something tho right?…straight shot of jack maybe?

But more likley… I’m going to try this book out. The Rabbit who Wants to Fall Asleep

Allegedly, it’ll have my kid asleep before the story is over.

rabbit wants to sleep

So apparently the word choice in the book is crafted to elicit yawns. And there is an intonation guide for parents to use when reading it to lull the lil sleepstaller to dreamland. I am so ready. I will do whatever voice, cadence and tone I need to do to get this kid to start going to bed like normal again. I can’t take this hour of foolishness anymore.

Thanks to Amazon Prime, I’ll report back Wednesday night on Facebook to let you know the results of this promising book. Reviews seem mostly positive on Amazon so I’m hopeful we’ll be able to knock the kid out via words instead of a sturdy backhand. Wish us luck.

What have you wanted to punch your kid out for lately?

oh…am I alone in that? Fine…

How do you get your little ones in bed?


  1. Brenda Haines says

    Oh my goodness, my son is 3 and fighting me on sleep in every which way also! This age is very tiring. To ME! Lol

  2. Julie Wood says

    Oh, Gosh it is so tiring with the run a round and not wanting to go to sleep. I lay down by my son and when he falls asleep I take off. This books looks like a really good book to read.

  3. ellen beck says

    My kid is older but I would here rustling. Catch her reading. Lights off. Catch her drawing. Flashlight taken. Then just rustling. Then she snores and I knew shee was finally asleep.
    Youre not alone.

  4. Kimberly M. says

    That is so funny. My grandson lives with me now. His mother and him moved in about a year ago and he lives here half the time because it is shared custody. He was so hard to get to go to bed when he was little but now it’s like a dream come true. Of course he is 6 now but it’s been like that since he was about 4 1/2. Thank God.

  5. says

    I gave up a long time ago on this mess LOL mine are older now so they get it. At 8pm they’re going to bed I don’t care if they fall asleep. I waited for 8pm all day, at 8:10 I need to be with my couch with something fun in my hand. My girls share room so they chat and sing and play sometimes till 9:30. As long they don’t come out or hurt each other I don’t even bother

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