Do you ever watch Jimmy Fallon on Fridays? He does a “Thank You Notes” segment that is so cute. Anyway, here are my thank yous for the week.
Thank you for starting to crawl like a proper baby. I loved your army crawl that you’d speed around the house with, and I loved that you are standing and cruising preparing to walk. I secretly wanted you to start walking before you crawled, but I’m proud of you for manning up and lifting your lil belly off the floor for a real crawl.
(i tortured her…..but it was for a good cause ::avoids eye contact::)
Dear Shaun T,
Thanks for Insanity Max: 30. I keep tracking my package like I’m a little kid. I cannot wait to get rid of this belly for good, and I know your program will help me yet again. Also…thanks for just being something pretty to look at while we jump around like maniacs. Makes the workout that much better.
Thanks for saying “Oh Fuck!” super loud in the car on the way to the airport. Now, Rohan has a new favorite term. … That he tried out liberally (read: and loudly!) on the plane… Mortifying me, but entertaining those around us.
Dear Theiving-ass Shyster-ass Movers,
Thanks for being filthy con artists and restoring my distrust for everyone everywhere. As soon as my belongings are safely in my storage unit, I will blast you on social media and in all other ways I possibly can. A plague on all of your houses, motherf**kers.
Dear Gram and Aunts,
Thank you for taking my children and feeding, playing, bathing, putting to bed, and otherwise caring for them allowing me time to rest or work. I love how much you love these children. I’m so grateful for all you do for us.
Dear Florida Sunshine,
Just….THANK YOU. ::looks at NY Winter with contempt::
Dear Laguardia Airport,
Thank you for having the absolute worst TSA people ever. Thanks for testing my daughter’s breast milk, patting me down and metal detector-ing me, while I had a baby strapped to my chest, and a toddler next to me fussing for the elmo that you wouldn’t let me get off the conveyor belt to hush him up…… And STILL letting me on the plane with a bigass weapon in my purse:
(I threw this in my bag with other junk drawer items last minute when we were packing up the house in a rush….totally forgot about it.)
Thanks for letting us sit on the tarmac for 45 long minutes before you saw fit to let us know what was going on with the plane and our delay. And thanks for wording your announcement about circuit breaker problems in the scariest way possible….and then signing off….and then realizing how awful you just sounded….and then coming back into our speakers to clean up your mess. Bonus, thanks for underestimating the time you said we’d be just sitting on the tarmac… Shout out to the 3 y/o and 5 y/o seated in front of us that kept asking their mom over and over “are we in florida now?”…..despite our plane not. moving. at. all.
Dear Amazon (Prime),
Thank you for being there for me whenever I need you. Thank you for always having what I want at a great price (plus cash back since I’m an associate) and coming in two days. Thank you for always being gracious about my disputes and sending me replacements when you mess up. I heart you boo. See you for more Xmas shopping soon!
Dear Car seat,
Thank you for serving as a comfy trap for my squirmy lil saboteur daughter. She was pissed, but she was safely contained while I banged out something before deadline. Shout out to the Shape Magazine that gave it’s (unread) life for the cause.
Dear Cuppa Tea,
Thank you for making everything all better, all the time.