I took a pregnancy test today.
I don’t wanna get TMI on you girls, so long story short, after a 10 minute convo, my GYN told me to take one and report back to her, because of some girlyparts issues I’ve been having lately.
I knew I wasn’t pregnant.
I considered not taking the test and just calling her tomorrow saying it was negative just to save myself the $15.
I knew I wasn’t going to see a double line appear. I knew it.
So why did I feel so completely devastated when just the single line appeared?
Seriously, I cannot even explain it.
I didn’t cry.
But I wanted to.
I didn’t even WANT the double line. I’ve been on the pill consistently, and drinking a lot lately and eating poorly..
That’s not the way I want to start my pregnancy.
I knew I’d get a negative result.
But somehow, seeing it make me feel like complete shit.
I guess deep down, no matter what the circumstance surrounding things, I truly want my Baby H. Badly.
Salt in the wound: I told john and he started doing backflips of joy! … OK I’m lying, I told him via text message since he was at work….but I could SENSE he was backflipping dammit!
It’s way ahead of schedule, so I know it’s for the best but…still….
Have you ever felt that way? When you started TTC did you go bucknuts with the pregnancy tests?