I’m doing this in two parts. If you want more birth story goodness you can also read Rohan’s Birth Story
The night before Kaya’s birthday we took Rohan over to my mom n dad’s house. I came home and could barely sleep. (And not from the usual heartburny, constant peeing, always uncomfortable 9 months pregnant woes) I was so anxious. Convinced I was going to die on the table the next day. (I made John promise to live close to my mom so she could help raise the kids.)
I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 9:30. We arrived and after a bit of a delay (waiting for a completely unnecessary wheelchair) we made it up into the room where I’d be prepped for my repeat cesarean. I peed in a cup, got blood drawn, and was hooked up to an IV to receive a bag of fluid. My nurse gave me the run-down of what was going to happen and then we just had to hurry up and wait.
The doctor came in and I was surprised at how my black female doctor Brown had morphed into a white male Dr. Cohen. Immediately my nervousness commenced. But he seemed nice and again gave me the run-down and answered all 50-11 of my questions… Including: “Are you gunna go through the same hole or are you gunna put an equal sign on my belly?” Thankfully he didn’t skip a beat in saying he’d use the same or directly beneath. *whew!*
The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the full scoop on the spinal, and John was given his scrubs. It was about to get really real. We were told we had to wait a bit, but then 5 seconds later they started to wheel me out to the (freeezing) operating room. I got hooked up to more beeping machines, and the anesthesiologist started her spinal procedure.
I was curled over a pillow unmoving, barely breathing, and only mildly nervous. Until *prick!* she poked in her spinal juice and my left leg jumped so high. Immediately that leg was numb….and everything else was regular. Very, very slowly I started to feel a bit of numbness go do my other leg. But not fully and nothing happened to my tummy.
On goes the oxygen mask. (Honestly my first thought was, oh great now my nose is going to be chapped for days – and it was.)
“I’m not numb.” I said, and I was told by one of the nurses that I just needed to lay down and things would take effect.
The nurses all helped me lay back, and I got strapped to the table 🙁 It was very scary for a moment and I just wanted John to be there next to me. I was laying and waiting for the spinal to make it to my tummy and chest.
No such luck.
The doctor kept pinching me (hard) and asking me if I could feel it. I was just like “OW! yes!” every time. (I wanted to kick him….but I couldn’t lift that left leg!) They couldn’t give me more meds because of my weight and the dose they already injected. So, they started carnival rides instead.
Yes, carnival rides.
There was some remote control that tilted the bed left, right, up down….everywhichaway and at one point I was almost all the way upside down. Head to the floor, legs to the sky. Naked. Strapped to a table. Drugged. Unable to move my legs.
Definitely my best moment in life. ::sigh::
So the bed tilting didn’t work, but just to be sure they did the annoying (and painful) pinch test for a while before they believed me. Then more carnival rides.
“Can someone get my husband please?”
We can as soon as we know you’re properly numb.
In that case, John’s never coming in here. I thought
“OK Fine.” I said
S-l-o-w-l-y the numbness raised to a level the doctor was comfortable with. But I wasn’t.
I saw someone lead John into the room.
I know from last time that I’d feel tugging and pulling and stretching feelings, but the sensation of my doctor’s hands on me was just too…acute. I just knew something was up, and I told them it’s not right.
“I think something’s wrong.” I said.
The anesthetist knew she’d effed up too, because she just kept on saying “she got the right amount.” “her back was perfect” “she got a good spinal” and things like that. I wanted to slap her. Thankfully the doctor listened to me and my intuition, and not that stupid chick.
I saw someone lead John out of the room.
He waited longer, and did more carnival game bed tilting, until his pinch test was way less ‘ouchie.’ Once he was pinching me at my sternum but felt like a feather gently rubbing accross my skin I was satisfied.
The doctor was satisfied too.
John came in again and immediately I start tearing up. The doctor and his student get ready to go to work, and the anesthesiologist goes in explaining to John what happened with the pinch test, and levels of numbness….and she doesn’t forget to mention that “she got the right amount” “her back was perfect” “she got a good spinal.”
I just wanted her to shut up. The doctor was just like “Oh every person’s body is different, we take to certain things in certain ways. bla bla bla bla”
John and I locked eyes. He knew as well as I did, that I got a botched spinal and I was in for a brutal ride.
Stay tuned for part two….
What was your birth experience like?
Guess what!? By this afternoon I’m going to be a mom of two! My darling girl is coming into the world today and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m praying everything goes well with the c-section, and she is born healthy and well. I hope there are no complications and I get to snuggle and nurse her immediately after, in recovery just like with Rohan. (Though I hope I don’t have those violent shakes so I can actually hold her to my breast by myself.)
I hope I can keep it together in there and not freak out about every little thing I see, hear, don’t hear, feel, don’t feel… It’s so nervewracking though.
This magical little life that John and I are being blessed with feels so extra special. We had Rohan, result of our little miracle pregnancy. And now BabyH2.0 is miracle two, coming to complete our natural family. How lucky are we? It feels so perfect and I just feel so overwhelmed with gratitude. I secretly believed Rohan was a fluke and I’d never be able to have more children. Thank goodness I was wrong.
It’s amazing how love just expands so naturally, and so wholly. I’ve loved this little girl to bits for 39 weeks and I am finally getting to meet her. I can’t wait to hear her cry. I know it’ll be a solid hearty cry. I can’t wait to have John bring her where I can see her little face and give her a kiss. I can’t wait to hold her. I can’t wait to just hold her and look at her. I want to smell her and feel her skin, and kiss all her tiny little parts.
Gosh I wish I could just fast forward to that part right now.
I’ll probably have John put up her stats and pic on Instagram first so follow me there if you want to e-meet her.
Do me a favor please? Send me some prayers, energy and good vibes for a safe delivery and a swift recovery! I’d really appreciate it.
Thanks girls. I know I can count on you.
I’m having a baby tomorrow.
This horrible 3rd trimester is coming to an end….and the Fourth Trimester is beginning.
Have you heard of the fourth trimester before? It’s the first 3 months after birth.
Having a newborn is tough and awesome. I spent so much time just falling in love with Rohan in his first days, weeks, months. Holding him all the time, having him sleep on me, wearing him like my favorite accessory. (And then pacing up and down with him as he screamed for no reason, wondering what’s wrong, cleaning up poopsplosions every hour, never getting to sleep for mroe than an hour, and getting peed and spat up on)
I’m going to have a lot more on my plate this time with Rohan running around while I’m trying to take care of BabyH2.0
Sometimes I think about it and I’m like, yeah…I got this.
And sometimes I think about it and I brainstorm ways to keep her inside me until Rohan is 5.
I’m preparing for the fourth trimester as best I can:
- I’ve got BabyH2.0’s needed items taken care of
- I’ve got my postpartum items taken care of
- I’ve got my mom staying with me the first week and helping me find a mother’s helper for the next couple weeks
- I’ve also got my mom keeping Roey on some weekends for a bit so I get solo bonding time w/ Newbaby
- I’ve got my journal to write down all my angsty postpartum feelings
- I’ve got meditations loaded up on my phone to listen to when I feel like I’m going to go postal
- I’ve got John on alert that he’s gunna have to do some serious heavy lifting the first few weeks
Most importantly, I’ve got the mindset that I know it’s going to be hard at first and I’m going to be going cray cray, but we will get through it unscathed.
Any tips on handling a newborn and a toddler in the first months?
The past few days I’ve been stressing about preparing for the aftermath of my repeat cesarean. I’m packing for the hospital stay but I’m convinced I’m going to forget something important. I’ve gotten some great advice on things to pack, and to ask for in the hospital though.
To ask for in hospital:
- Colase asap to get things *ahem* movin’
- A belly wrap to keep things tight
- Pain meds before I’m actually in pain
- An extra jug of ice water (this is genius, as I was chugging water like nobody’s business last time and felt so bad always asking for more)
- A pillow! (totally could’ve used this last time!)
- The usual: toiletries, socks, robe, clothes for me/baby, phone, camera, chargers, kindle, journal
- Nursing gear: bras, nipple cream
- An extra tote bag! (since the hospital gives you lots of free goodies)
- Baby nail clippers! (hospital doesn’t offer them, and babies like to scratch their faces off)
For some debbie downery reason I keep thinking back to last time and just how awful I felt afterward. Everyone who’s had an emergency C followed by a planned C says it’s a lot easier the second time around. I hope they’re right and not just being nice to calm my nerves. 🙂
Just a couple more days now….Eeeep!