We Really Do Not Need Stretch Marks

no-thank-you

Dear Universe: We don’t need stretch marks! Stop giving them to us dammit! Sincerely, Striped Mothers Everywhere

::sigh::

My stretch marks make my belly look seriously fugly.

I know some women don’t care, or want to view their stretch marks as “battle scars” and say they “earned them” etc.

side-eye-prince-2

Whatever.

Not for me.

I wish they weren’t there.

After Rohan there were some, and I didn’t mind them one bit!

Now after Kaya there are a million evil, jagged, zig zaggy devil stripes all around my middle and I can’t stand them.

I read a post on Blogher bashing women who said their stretch marks ruined their stomachs, and that their baby ruined their body etc.

The post was going in on these women, as if they were not allowed to feel this way simply because the scars were caused by a baby.

How I feel about my marks has nothing to do with how I feel about my babies.

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Don’t even know how that flawed logic came about….

Yes, the human body is miraculous. Yes growing a person inside you and then popping them out to live among us is the most awe inspiring, amazing, affirming things…. ever.

But you know what would be even more amazing?

More miraculous?

If the human body could do all that magical stuff…. and….. not leave stretch marks behind.

Yup.

I mean, why not?

If our bodies are capable of this level of magic, why not just sprinkle a lil extra magic in and have zero stretch marks or extra fat deposits?

We don’t need any “proof” of pregnancy left behind. We have the child for that.

You know what?

I’m gunna leave this very important post in God’s suggestion box just in case he gets around to it….maybe after ending world hunger.

Women of the future will thank me, I’m sure.

jesus fix it

::stalks away hoitily::

What very important issue are you going to put in God’s suggestion box?

And did you do anything to lighten your stretch marks?

Bevel is Changing the Shaving Game

  bevel shaving kit

Bevel is changing the shaving game for coarse-haired men and I am so excited! … for my dad…

I remember from a very young age my dad having exactly 4 million razors in an oversized mug. I think he’d use them once or twice then they would somehow fail him and go into the mug never to be used again. I later learned that he was searching for “the one.” He wanted a razor that was going to give him perfect results and not have him end up with bumps later.

African American hair is super curly, and when growing back after shaving it curls and sometimes causes ingrown hair bumps and other irritations and annoyances. I know we girls can get these razor bumps too, when shaving the bikini area, but men have to deal with this drama in a much more noticeable area.

My ex would try every single lotion and potion he could get his hands on to avoid the bumpy face and neck. I went into his linen closet one day and saw all kinds of products for women’s skin and we had a lovely fight until he told me what it was for. I knew he would buy every new razor and every new men’s facial cream as soon as it would come out. Do you notice how razors now have like 700 blades on them? Crazy. (I bet my ex owns one like that, LOL.)

I remember daddy slathering on Barbasol (yes… he’s old) and trying out a new razor, fancier looking than the last. It would end up in the mug too. He would even go get professional shaves from ancient looking men who, to my young eyes, moved in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n. Those professional shaves were the only shaving experiences he wouldn’t complain about. Too bad that back in the day they weren’t in the budget to do on a regular basis.

Bevel has a new range of products to help men like my dad and ex get clearer, smoother skin in 4 weeks. They’ve developed a shaving system specifically for people with coarse, curly hair. The kit includes a razor, blades, brush, priming oil, shaving cream and restoring balm and Bevel’s products were clinically tested to reduce and prevent razor bumps and irritation.

Once I found out about this I knew I just had to have Daddy try it out.

dad with bevel kit

Daddy’s “Unboxing” Video:

Dad Tries Bevel:

 

 

Smooth… like a gravy sandwich:

 

 

In short: He loved it. He only tried the cream and the razor/blades but he’s a fan. He thought the cream was great (maybe he’s found his Barbasol replacement!) and liked the quality of the razor itself saying that it felt well-made. (It was heavy too.) Since that day he’s tried the restoring balm and said it felt “fancy.” So I guess that’s a good thing! The Bevel razor is not goin’ into the mug!

smooth cat dad

Do you have any products where you’re searching for “the one”?

Use Promo Code OKDANI20 for a great 20% discount off the first month at Bevel!!

Fit Friday – And So It Begins

FitFridays

Oh girls, I ate so horribly during my pregnancy. I really did. We had take out multiple times a week. The last two weeks while I was feeling “punished” by the pain I was in, I totally self medicated with oreos and entenmanns… and flat soda…and ice cream. Lots. of. Ice Cream.

Whatever.

That’s the past. What’s done is done.

What’s to come is what matters.

I have one meal taken care of each day. That’s my a.m. shakeology shake. I pop some fruit or greens and milk in there, shakey shake (or vroom it around in my trusty nutribullet) and I’ve got the most nutritious meal of the day all done.

What happens after that is where the hard part comes in…

No more snacking on entenmanns and ice cream ::wipes tear:: No more chugging sweet juices and sweet teas. No more junk dammit!

Now my snacks are:

  • fruits
  • yogurt
  • hummus & carrots
  • …ok… and Rohan’s apple sauce

I just crave sweets all. the. time. #gottaworkonthat

John is on board to eat cleaner too, and he’s still doing his low carb thing 6 days a week. I can’t go low carb, and I definitely won’t be restricting calories at all since I’m breastfeeding Kaya, but I am making healthier food choices. (except last night when we had Chinese instead of cooking a healthy meal at home….but I digress)

I may end up going back to the Eat to Live way of eating…but what I know for sure right now is I need to clean up my eating if I’m going to see this baby belly go away for good.

You-cant-out-exercise-a-bad-diet

Until the doc says I can work out I’m going to just focus on:

  1. Drinking as much water as is humanly possible each day
  2. Making my snack choices healthier
  3. Replacing my morning snack or first meal with a shake
  4. Not eating/snacking/grazing after 9pm

I’m kinda glad there’s a delay before I can work out. Consistently eating well requires way more effort for me than consistently working out hard. We’ve all heard that “abs are made in the kitchen” and I sooo wish that wasn’t true. So it’ll be nice to have this month of April to try and wrangle my eating and clean it up before I add workouts to the mix. I’m going to have to be one of those people who ::gulp:: plans her meals in advance. ::hyperventilates::

OK. So. It begins today. As it stands I’m holding on to 30lbs of extra weight. (Why God? Why!?!) Some of that is definitely in the boob area, so I’m going to make my (tentative) goal 25 lbs off and a fit body. (Though if my weight stayed exactly the same while my body transformed from mushy to fit I’d be totally fine with that too.)

Do you have any fitness plans? How’d you lose your baby weight?

April, Already?

  hello april

 

Wow. It’s April guys. Summer will be here before we know it. Yikes! I have huge plans for this month. I always have huge plans lol…do they always work out? No. But that doesn’t stop me from making huge plans the very next month anyway. hehe

I feel like April is going to be a hectic month of trial and error in our household. Trying to figure out a schedule that works for Rohan and Kaya, and allows me to get work done as well. I’m SO. FREAKIN. BEHIND. in work, it’s ridiculous. And with the new biz I’m basically doubling my work load. Plus school’s start date is looming like an evil ogre waiting to eat me up. ::le sigh:: I’ll figure it all out.

A friend of mine on FB posted something recently that I can’t remember word for word but it was basically, I’ll go hard now, and struggle, suffer, and be stressed now….so that in a few years everything will be a breeze.  Now, I don’t know what kinda breezes I’ll be having in a few years, but I know that I too will go hard now, so things are easier (or over and done with) later.

Let’s see how I did with March’s goals:

  • Wash all of her clothes/sheets/blankets etc.
  • Wash and sterilize all of Roey’s old bottles and breast pump parts
  • Pack hospital bag and buy whatever I may need for it
  • Get apartment organized and decorated fully
  • Pre-blog so there’s not too much “dead air” here
  • Make a few big meals to freeze: soup, chili, lasagna
  • Buy immediately needed items: diapers, nipple cream
  • Get all my pieces in before deadline and take on no new projects
  • Get a freakin haircut
  • Have a date night with the husband
  • Try to survive life with a cray cray toddler, newborn, and body that feels like death warmed over

Not bad! Not bad at all :)

APRIL PLANS (Not exactly…goals…per se)

  • Get a muthableepin’ haircut for the love of God!! (and decide whether i’m perming again or not)
  • Blog steadily here and on my beachbody blog
  • Start eating healthier and drinking more water
  • Fatten up my teeny baby girl with only the finest breastmilks
  • Return to Youtube
  • Secure an incidental sitter and a twice a month cleaning person (thank’s John!)
  • Visit doc and get cleared to work out
  • Take a walk all alone – no baby strapped to me or pushing in a stroller
  • Taxes!
  • Finish my new vision board
  • Create some sort of schedule so I don’t go completely insane
  • Lose some of this baby weight somehow
  • Start working on sponsorships for BlogHer
  • Book all my summer travel so my anxiety about prices is relieved
  • Learn a magic spell to get rid of these hideous stretch marks (where my wiccans at?)

What are your goals for the month of April?

Kaya Questions and Answers

newborn-kaya-okdani-blog

I’ve gotten more questions about Kaya in the past 10 days than I ever got when Rohan was born. I’ll try to answer some of them now since lots of people are asking the same questions:

Why Kaya Marie? How’d you pick her name? 

I wanted Kaya for a while…remember? But I wanted to be able to call her Kai cuz I just love that name and John thought just Kai was no good. So we went around with a few names, I wanted either a boy name like Noah or Aedan, or an open “flowy name” like Hannah or Sarah. We had Ananda for a while, and Zahra was also in the running…till Kaya just fit perfect. Rhymes with Maya which is a name I wanted before I ever had kids.

It means different things in different languages but my fave meanings are: Little but wise, and Pure.

Marie is my mom’s middle name so we went with that since Rohan has his great grandfather’s name for his middle.

What is her nickname?

Well, my intention was to call her Kai…but I find myself adding to her name instead of shortening. Kayabear, Kayabelle, Kayabean….etc…  #backwards #whocaresmamasinlove

What color are her eyes?

John wants them to be blue like his. I don’t know what color they’ll end up, but the glassy dark blue color that all newborns seem to have is starting to lift. In my opinion her eyes will be lighter than Rohans, maybe light brown or hazel? ::shrug:: All I know is, I was 100% certain that Rohan’s eyes were going to be dark brown. Kaya’s just don’t have the same look….

ro and kai

How’s Rohan with her?

Going to do a full post on this, but he’s good with her. He freaked out one morning when she didn’t have a hat on and ran to go get one for her. We are working on him being gentle with her and careful around her. He gets so excited and wild…I worry, but I know overall he loves his little sister and just wants to touch her and help her.

Are you breastfeeding her?

But of course! I was nervous that I’d have issues with my milk coming in. It took a little longer than it did the first time. But we’re all good. She’s nursing all the time and my nipples hurt like a sonofagun. A full “Adventures in Breastfeeding” post is coming soon.

How was the c-section?

Horrendous. Brutal. Awful. Scary. ::shudder:: Glad I’m never having more children. Glad Kaya came safe and sound and I made it out OK. But I’ll tell you about that in the birth story.

kaya

Who does she look like?

We have no idea. This lil girl is a shapeshifter. I see John, I see Jack (John’s dad), I see my aunt Mena (My dad’s aunt), I see Rohan, I see my dad, I see….a friendly italian baker named mario….I see the singer Ashanti LOL  We have no clue. She definitely has John’s eyes though. And she has my one right-cheek dimple. We’re going to have to wait and see. Right now I say John’s got claim to this one.

How is John with her?

He treats her like she is the most fragile thing in the world. Watching him change her diaper for the first time (a 25 minute affair) was pure comedy. It’s sweet, but I don’t think it’ll last. He treated Rohan like a dozen eggs for the first few weeks of his life, too. Once that breastmilk started to plump up the limbs he got more comfortable and “normal” with him. I predict the same thing happening with Kaya. I will say, he’s in love with her. I felt like while I was pregnant, he wasn’t as in love with her as he was when Rohan was inside. Less talking to her thru the belly and whatnot. But now that she’s here, he’s properly in love as he should be. I really feel sorry for the little boys that come chasing after her. With her dad, her brother, her uncle and her crazy grampa…This girl is gunna be pissed….but protected lol.

If you have any Kaya Questions send em my way! What questions did you get when your lil ones were born?

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