NabloAlmost….NabloNotSoMuch….NabloNextime

Well…I failed my personal Nablopomo goal of posting monday through friday for the whole month.  In lieu of an excuse, here’s something cute to distract you:

I’m still going to answer the prompts. Why? Well, why not?!

Tuesday, November 17

What is one place you need to see to feel like your life is complete?

There isn’t one place I need to see…it a person. Or persons. I want to live to see my great grand children, and hopefully see some big milestones in their lives, not just see em as a baby, then croak. I have a bucket list filled of adventures I want to have in various parts of the world, but if I don’t get to all of them, I’d still feel like life is complete as long as I get to have full, loving relationships with my kids, grand kids and great grands.

Is that sappy or what? Ugh.

But it’s true. ::hugs self since nobody’s around::

Wednesday, November 18

What do you hope people remember about you after you’re gone?

How I encouraged them. How I inspired them and motivated them. How I cracked them up. How I made them feel unstoppable, or pretty, or funny, or smart. How content they were after our interaction. How cute my butt looked as I walked away.  Holla!

Thursday, November 19

Where would you want to retire if money wasn’t an issue?

Money wont be an issue. And I wouldn’t want to retire to just one place. Like I mentioned earlier, I have a ton of adventures I’ll need to make good on. I would love to have my home base be somewhere on the Yucatan Peninsula, not too far from the beach, but definitely in a walkable town. And we’d see that home base maybe half the time with the other half traipsing around to the random places we need to discover and back to the states to visit friends and family.

What about you?!

The Machine That Makes Anything

machine that makes anything

So, back in 2010 I actually invented two amazing pieces of technology.

Ok…well, I pre-invented them. ::avoids eye contact::

You can take a look here. Those inventions will change your life!!!

Today’s #nablopomo prompt is about what you’d invent….if you knew how to invent stuff.

Since the post I mentioned above, I’ve pre-invented another life changing device. And actually, the only device you’ll ever need.

It’s called:

The Machine That Makes Anything!

Actually, full disclosure, it was John who came up with this invention, but I got the imaginary patent first soo… #snoozeyoulose.

The machine that makes anything does exactly what you think it does. It lets you sit back and relax and spend all your days living fully, exactly as you wish because it literally, makes. any. thing.

Need food? A house? Rent money? A pet horse? Whatever…. plug your desire into the machine, and POOF! it will be created.

Now, some new age mystical spiritual woo woo folks have side-eyed our invention arguing that the machine already exists.

It’s called the human mind.

mind explosion gif

::lets that marinate::

But….my inventing partner John and I decided we needed something much more immediate. Thinking things into existence just takes way too long sometimes. So, the machine that makes anything will pop out your item almost immediately. Plus, no need to work a job you dislike just for money. You wont NEED money. You can get your clothes, shelter, toys, tools, food etc…. all from the machine.

There will be no retail value on this machine. We’re thinking we’ll just create one protoype… then have it make another one, and another, and continue to replicate them and just give them away to everyone we know, and have them replicate more for everyone they know… and so on and so on. No need to sell it, right?

What on earth will we all do with our time once we have all of our needs and wants met?

What a wonderful problem to have!!

What would you invent if you could?

Want one of my machines?

Why My Personal Assistant Would Quit on Day One #nablopomo

PA Quit

Today’s Nablopomo Prompt:

If you had a personal assistant who would do your most dreaded tasks, which items from your to-do list would you assign out?

Timely question, as I’m looking for a VA for annoying biz stuff right now. I want someone who will handle all the tedious, boring, non-creative and yucky stuff for me.

In Biz, and in Life.

I’d not be able to get by with just a PA though. I’d need a Personal Assistant, a Chef, a Maid and a part-time, in-home Nanny at the very least.  I told you here how we got rid of our cleaning service, let me tell you, I miss Delmy more than I miss my mama rightabout now.

Seriously, I’d skip the PA and just bring Delmy back. Cleaning sucks. People who enjoy it are like magical unicorns and I will never understand how they are wired, but I admire them for it. I do it because it must be done, but I dislike it. (Tho for a brief moment in time I didn’t hate it….sadly, the moment has passed.)

But back to the prompt.

If I had a PA right now… I’d have him or her: 

  • do the random tax, billing, accounting crap I need to get done
  • wipe down all the toys in the playroom and throw out the junky ones
  • do all the back SEO on old blog posts and pics here on OKDani
  • organize the garage
  • do all the little shopping/errands: returning library books, home depot runs, etc
  • dye my hair a fun color every month
  • go through my OKDani email inbox for legitimate emails and delete all the crap ones
  • draft out the family calendar for 2016 including travel, events, etc
  • pitch to companies on my behalf and serve as my own personal PR Company
  • …..clean the house every other day
  • watch Ro and Kai for a couple hours so I could hit the gym
  • organize all my random contacts and photos
  • make dinner….nightly
  • take dictation of all my written projects because Dragon has forsaken me time and time again.
  • tell me “you is smart, you is kind, you is important” every few hours or whenever they see me frowning.

They would quit. 

So fast.

And then I’d cry.

I seriously would love someone to come do all of that…yes, including the last one.. but that’s not realistic now is it? (At least…not on my budget…for now)

But SERIOUSLY, I am looking for a VA to handle admin/social media tasks for OKDani and FitNoire.com so if you do this, or know someone, have them email their resume or CV to dani@okdani.com. The pay is shit, but the boss is cool. (ok, cool-ish.)

What would you have a personal assistant handle for you?

 

Good Reads #Nablopomo

good reads

Happy Friday, friends!

I didn’t like today’s Nablopomo prompt. If you’re interested it was talking about your fears as a child. Mine were: duppies and electricity. Nothing’s changed. (Yes…electricity. I have a serious fear of being shocked or zapped in any way.) But new fears were added as an adult, like fear of failure and something awful happening to my kids. I just didn’t feel like doing a full on post about this.

What I would rather tell you about is some good stuff I’ve discovered around these innanets….

Can You Woo Woo Woo?

Solara Sophia has a free manifestation guide on her blog. She’s a reality creation coach (doesn’t that sound lovely?) and her guide is fabulous. I actually found her just yesterday evening. If you’re into the woo woo like I am, I know you’ll really enjoy it. Go grab it here today and start creating a kickass new reality for yourself.

Necole Aint Bitchie

I recently found out about XONecole, the rebrand of the former NecoleBitchie site. Have you been over there yet? It’s a great site with a positive vibe and I’m excited to say that they featured one of my pieces the other day. OGs to OKDani will remember the piece, but it may be a new read for some of you. Check it out here.

Bish Better Have My Money

So Maya Elious is tryna help you get your coins up. She has a new #getmoneychallenge that you can join. It’s free, relax. Check out her blog, it’s so chock full of great info for creatives and entrepreneurs. I joined the challenge because… money.  What’s your money goal for the next 45 days? Won’t you join us here too?

And now for some good reads not around the web: 

I’m currently re-reading Eat to Live which I told you all about on the blog a while back.

Just finished reading You, Inc. interesting read especially with the business ventures I’m engaged in now.

Come visit tomorrow, and again Sunday for a special feature and giveaway!! (The first of 2 giveaways this month!)

What good stuff have you read lately? 

Why I Never Wanted My Parents’ Jobs #nablopomo

my parents jobs

Today’s Prompt: When you were a kid, did you want to have the same job or a different job than your parents when you grew up?

Oh heeeelllll no I didn’t want my parents jobs!!
Honestly, I feel like my personality, plus seeing my parents and how hard they worked is what made me know four things for absolute 1000% sure:

1. I was going to be a stay at home mom by hook or by crook

2. I was going to own my own business instead of having a dickhead boss to answer to

3. I’ll never marry a cop or a fireman.

4. I’ll never do meth. (I’ll explain)

So my mom was (well, still is…until she gives in and moves her ass down to florida to be close to her grandbabies) an HR Executive. She’s been the Global Head of HR for several large firms. I actually enjoy HR for the brief stint I did it (probably because I just like being all the way up in people’s business), but I never wanted to have her job.

As a kid you don’t realize what a crappy job motherhood is. Especially a working mother. My god, it’s thankless. You get up early, handle your family, then get to work and deal with the a-holes there all day, then come home to work more, cook, clean, take care of your kids. Jesus. It’s hard. Harder if your kid is an asshole like I was. Hats off to mommy and all the other full time working (outside the home) mamas out there.

As a teen I didn’t mind my mom not being at home, but when I was younger I wanted her. I was raised by my gram mostly, and my aunts. I loved it because I got away with everything, and never got beatings like my cousins lol, but I wanted my mother. I knew as a teen when a little bit of introspection started… that I didn’t want to have kids missing me on the regular. I knew I wanted to be home with my babies until they reach the point where they want nothing to do with me.

So I figured I’d marry someone super duper rich (#failed on that life goal) and not have to think about money, just my babies! But once I started to learn myself…and have a bunch of jobs… I realized real quick that a: staying at home with babies and doing nothing else but momming would likely be boring for me and b: I’m not built to work for someone else long term. I just don’t have it in me.

My dad recently retired from the NYPD. He was a detective for my whole life almost. The man worked crazy hours, all the time and my mom worried all the time. Hell, I worried all the time. I remember he had these 2day switch shifts, 2 days working a normal day schedule, then 2 days working 4pm – 1am, then 2 days off, repeat repeat repeat.  I hated those 4pm-1am days. I’d go to bed at a normal time at night but looking back I realize I was a light sleeper because I’d be subconsciously waiting to hear the door open downstairs knowing daddy’s home safe, so I could settle in for my “real” sleep.

I’d hear the door downstairs, and dad trying to be quiet coming in for the night, then I’d hear my mom’s bedsheets rustle knowing she’d be going downstairs to be all Jamaican and offer him a plate of food. (He got the right one, cuz I dare John to think I’m getting out of my warm bed to fix him a plate… Love Language be damned. Make your own food, it’s 2am!) Once I heard them talking and giggling I felt “safe” enough to go back to sleep.

That is so not healthy. I have anxiety issues yo. #workingonit

But I’m glad the old man (OK he’s only like 57 or something) retired, finally. I knew I would never want to be in my moms shoes. If I was worrying like crazy, especially when crazy stuff like 9-11 (for which Daddy was a first responder) goes down, then only God knows the levels to which that woman was worrying. ::shudder:: Nah. No marrying cops or firemen. Nope. I wouldn’t even date one.

Now for the meth… this goes hand in hand with Daddy’s job. He’d show me some horrible, gruesome, disgusting photos of his crime scenes, that looking back… is kind of a twisted thing to do.  “Hey Danza, wanna see a dead guy?” “Yeah Dad!” wtf?!  I will never forget when I was in 6th grade, my dad told me some stories of a girl from a case who was all high on meth and cut her face open with a can opener.  Now, I don’t know why this of all the “don’t do drugs” scare-tactic stories my dad tried with me really stuck… but it did.

Maybe it was lowkey vanity, like “OMG I dont wanna ruin my face, meth isn’t worth it!” but whatever it was, that story did the trick. (Not like I was offered meth every day or something — or…ever…actually….—, but if I ever was….I’d say an enthusiastic NO, dammit!   But weed on the other hand. Yeah….  Nobody cuts their face open after smokin some ganj.

Hmmm…..This is probably a good place to end.

Did you want your parent’s jobs when you were a kid?