Kaya is 2!! Happy Birthday KaiKai



Happy birthday baby girl. You had your party yesterday, but your real birthday is today. You’re two! It’s amazing how fast this past year has gone. You’ve made such big strides and it’s awesome to watch you grow. You are speaking so much and so clearly now. It’s amazing to me what a vocabulary you have.

Your little personality is developing like crazy. You seem to be kinda shy. I don’t know where you get it from, but it’s interesting to see. Despite your shyness, you’re adventurous and fiery though. So I’m sure the shyness around others will be balanced out well. You love being outside and being active running around, jumping on the trampoline, swinging. You ask to go out and dig in the dirt every hour on the hour it seems like. You’re into exercising and yoga which secretly makes mommy very happy. You love to sing songs all day and love music and dancing. Always have.


Your favorite toys right now are your stuffed bunny (bunnybunny) and talking doc Mcstuffins (doca miss muffin). You play with the blocks and read a lot too. You can be so gentle one minute, delicately picking flowers as you pass them in the yard… and then be a complete savage the next, stomping on and hammering whatever is closest. ::shrug::  Minnie mouse and Hello Kitty (kittykitty) are your favorite characters in your books.

You’re a good eater, and a great sleeper. Thank goodness for that. You go down at 8 and wake up between 8:30-10am You eat almost anything, even though whenever I ask you what you want to eat you tell me “noodle soup” no matter what time of day it is. You love bananas and other fruits, soups, shakes/smoothies, and any pasta.


You take a lot of drive by abuse from your brother, but have recently started fighting back. This both makes me proud and terrifies me. I don’t want you two fighting, but I don’t want you to be a mark either. Daddy and I break it up and want you and Ro to get along well together. You’re a good little sister, playing with your brother you share so very well.

You’re a snugglebunny for sure, which makes mommy so happy. You like to force yourself into snuggle positions and love to be held and cuddled and carried. I love it. So does daddy. He loves telling the stories of how you squeeze your way into his lap when he’s fixing things so you can “help.”


You’re in 3T clothing now and like to pick your own items out. You’re getting better at getting clothes on by yourself but mommy helps. You’re also getting better at telling me you have to potty before you actually do it! I think you’ll be potty trained fairly soon. You’re such a big girl!

We just love you so much Kaya. It’s such a treat spending the days with you, watching you progress. You surprise me every. single. day. Your daddy and I are so proud of you. Happy birthday baby girl!!

Hugs and kisses for my misses!




Facebooking While Black: White Privilege in Private Messages #thatprivtho

really kanye

I had no idea how to title this post…It’s not 100% relevant…but this one made me giggle so I kept it… It was going to be “Happy MotherF**king Black History Month” ….but…… Anyway…..

I lost a few friends (well not real friends, e-friends and some from millions of years ago) shortly after I started FitNoire. I got messages asking “Hey, is FitNoire only for black people?” And I explained that the site is there for anyone to consume but yes, my target audience is black women, and all the writers, and images there will be reppin the melanin. Apparently that means we should no longer speak to each other. (They must not realize my cousins are missing from Shape, Oxygen, Fitness, Self and um…ALL the fitness mags and websites….and everything else..ever.) 

nene leakes really

Whatevs. Luckily most of my non-black Facebook friends and real life friends and colleagues “get it” and think the site is a kickass idea…. because it is.

So, yesterday I posted two race-related Facebook statuses. One a personal situation, over a link to someone’s thinkpiece about Beyonce’s performance and the racially charged backlash it’s getting, and the other, a more….direct piece (written by someone else) about the idiocy of comparing KKK to BPP. (Now, BPP was far from perfect, but let’s not dare compare the two…ever.)

My majority Blacktina (black and latina) friends list came out in full force to laugh with me about the posts and commiserate about the general racial foolywang going on. (And of course there was a commenter or two trolling because the priv compelled them to…)

My chat/PMs though, had a different theme. I received messages that I wont even bother to share for you here because….ignorance. And my friends list dropped down by a few.

idris head turn

However, none of the dissenting white “friends” posted publicly. They all chose to privately message me with their “i’mnotracistbut” and “ididn’tknowyoufeltthatway” foolishness. Some even posting videos of cooning self-hating white-identified black folks for me to watch. Like…seriously? I realized it was in private probably because they felt the folks commenting on my post would rip them an entirely new asshole. (And they prooobably would have)

But…they also probably felt that I wouldn’t.

I realized that in addition to the priv just seeping from every one of their pores, these people think I’m “safe.”

(SIDEBAR: Kinda like white folks thought Beyonce was “safe” before this Formation came out – and double sidebar: can we be real for a second, I do like the video, but this is the most diluted of ways Beyonce could have come into the Black social justice conversation, and people are up in arms… can you imagine if it was more direct…if she truly “fired shots” in a song, press conference or even tweets?…poor woman would be assassinated or something by now.)

Yes, I’m fun-loving Dani that likes to be silly…and plays too much. But I’m also not one you should try and come for. If you’re not ready to have a real conversation about a hard subject, and do so with an open mind….then boo boo, I’m just not the one.


White friends, I’m not sure why you do it. It could be because I don’t fill my timeline with race-related topics all day long and don’t blog about them often either, or maybe it’s because you knew me from some uber white school or job we attended together, or maybe it’s because I’m married to one of your cousins.

Not sure but listen. You listening? Please don’t let the white husband fool ya. I’m not Staceydashing up in here and my name is not Ravyn. (insert sturdy side eye here)

I didn’t want to be the person that goes back and forth on a facebook thread, but I realize why people do it now. Some folks just need to get cut with words sometimes.

That said….I’m no where near as eloquent as my friend-in-my-head Luvvie….so I’ll let her say what I’m feeling…it’s like she took all my thoughts and formed it perfectly in a way I couldn’t…. I would LOVE if you give it a read… realtalk, it’s kinda long, but worth it. So, so worth it.


And for the white friends who don’t know what to make of this…. Who see my and other folks timelines filled with pro-black ish, and calls for action, or even jokes trying to make light of what’s so harsh. Who look, and listen, and think. Who maybe internalize, ponder, and are brave enough to challenge your own thinking… You who realize, “hmmm maybe this isn’t my conversation right now, maybe if all these people are saying this one thing, I should stop talking and just listen, maybe there’s something valid here.” You who look around and realize, “oh shit, I don’t have any black friends…why is that?”

Or, “I only have one black friend and I don’t even really get her…maybe we should have a conversation…this is going to be hard but I’m going to try anyway”…. or notice that you don’t see any black people on your favorite TV show and at least stop for one second to wonder why….

Or take pause when you hear the term white privilege and google it instead of ignoring or denying it because you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth….You who stop to wonder, and truly think about WHY people who look like you are so upset about a damn song and halftime performance….and instead of inserting yourself in a conversation ignorantly, choose to go read, go research, go ask questions (where appropriate, because black folks don’t want to be your encyclopedia…just a tip)…. I effin salute you. You’re the real MVP these days.

OMG two race related pieces in one week. Who am I? Mamademics?

kanye shrug

I’ll be back to the koombaya ish tomorrow. 🙂


February Goals and Check-in

hello february

February already?

It’s a fresh month and a fresh start 🙂

January was great overall.

  • I spoke at Type A Vegas, attended CES and Affiliate Summit and enjoyed my momcation.
  • Started a personal book challenge and completed a book that has changed my life on the low
  • Cleaned up my diet a bit more, and introduced the kids to new foods
  • Daphne and I took Moms & Biz to a weekly show and are expanding it
  • I launched FitNoire.com and am starting to find my footing with it
  • I got a great blog consultation from a 6-figure blogger (which I 100% suggest you do too if you’re a blogger)
  • Started weekly gym dates with my swolemate Johnny
  • My aunts took the kids a bunch so I had time to handle house stuff and do work without interruption (all praise be to allah)
  • Started a new beachbody workout program that I love and am debating running a challenge in February for it 🙂
  • Found ways to improve my schedule and lower my stress levels

Stumbles in January were:

  • Not reaching the income goal I set for myself and not returning to Periscope as I intended
  • Losing my mojo for writing a lilbit

Here’s my month in pictures.

What I’m looking forward to February:

  • Dusting off my camera again
  • Fun biz projects
  • Date nights and gym dates w/ John
  • Seeing some progress from my ramped up nutrition and exercise
  • Starting to plan Kai’s 2nd birthday party
  • More adventures out as a family
  • The return of our cleaning service
  • Spanish with the kids
  • Doing our taxes (Ienjoy it.)

February Goals:

  • Fix up the kids rooms (I gave in and am doing a boy room and girl room….for now.)
  • Do a serious kitchen clean out (John’s back on a SERIOUS low carb kick…no more carb days…just 1 carb meal a week)
  • Return to jogging in the mornings (gulp!)
  • Create a crapload of content/finish dangling writing projects
  • Hit XXXX income goal

My focus personally is nutrition and work-wise is creating/writing and returning to video/periscope.

What’s your focus for February?

Are you on track with your goals/resolutions?


Join the 52 Book Challenge! #52booksin2016


So I’m on my way to the mall when I just kinda felt “over it” and didn’t want to drive there, deal with parking, or people, or noise. I looked at my co-pilot Kai in the back seat and asked her if we should go home. She said “read book mommy?” which I translated to “Hey mom, screw the mall, you can return that crap anytime. Let’s go to the library instead.”

She’s a wise young sage.

I ODed at the library and hauled home a big ol’ sack of books….not including the ones for the kids… and so… the 52 Book Challenge was born!

The challenge is simply to read 52 books in 2016. Ideally, a book a week, but if you want to do more or less, go for it. I love to read and it’ll be my procrastination and relaxation tool of choice for the year. If I go at the pace I’m going, I’ll read 75+, but my goal is just 52, so if I go weeks without reading, I’ll be OK.

I announced the challenge on Instagram a few weeks ago and got a great response. Lots of folks doing the 52 book or 26 book challenge. Some folks committed to 12 books for 2016 and some, like my girl over at Yummommy are doing over 100 in 2016! *COUGH*showoffs*COUGH* 🙂

So far I’ve read:

Millions Within (ok it was an audio book. leave me alone – I got this deal on audible and lost my mind) This one I’ll have to listen to again and again. It’s a great mindset book. I’m opening myself up to a wealth mindset and this book was really great for that. (Another one I love for getting your moneymind right is Get Rich Lucky Bitch -it’s free on Kindle)


I Will Teach You To Be Rich (also free on Kindle) by Ramit Sethi who I absolutely love. (book wasn’t anything we didn’t already know if we followed him, but it was nice to read a book in a conversational personality-filled tone.) In the whole book I learned one thing: Your credit card company has trip insurance for you if you get sick and cant make your flight. They’ll cover the airline change fees for you! I never knew that!!! I knew they covered car insurance for you when you’re renting, but trip insurance too!? #wholenewworld  Call your card to be sure.

I am now reading….ok…listening to… The Map by Boni Lonsburry because I LOVE law of attraction books to just continuously remind me and keep me going in a great direction. It is just pouring love and good feels all over me today! Her voice is perfect for the message.

I recently started but didn’t finish some others that I wont bother including until I finishe them up (the pics are on Instagram if you care)

And quickly burned through these two:

blah money books

(wouldn’t really recommend either one unless you know exactly zero about money in which case it’ll be a good quick read)

I have so many books I want to read on my list… Shonda’s book, The Tidying Up Book, and… I actually want to read a book about butts. It’s Brett Contreras’ Glutes Book. Which has info on building muscle all over and a workout program to get super fit/strong/flexible. I think I’ll try it after I finish Hammer & Chisel (which I start on Monday!) I digress…

Also have to read my e-friend and fellow coach, Brandy Butler’s book that I bought the day it came out…and forgot to load into my Kindle. I was on the plane headed to Vegas ready to whip it out and read….and realized I never put it on my daggone device. #disappointed.
Anywaaay…Here’s my list:

What books are on your list?

Will you take on the 52 Books in 2016 challenge??!

(affiliate links abound all up and down this post. That means if you buy I get some coins. Don’t worry, it doesn’t cost you a thing.)

How to Encourage Gratitude in Children

encourage gratitude in children

By definition, gratitude is an emotional state cultivated by the act of consciously saying “thank you” for the good in your life. Being grateful for what you currently have puts you in a better feeling state. This makes it more likely that more positive experiences will come your way to be grateful for. And you’ll be in the headspace (or heart-space) to receive it and say thank you for it.

Most parents begin teaching their children manners early on, encouraging them to say thank you when appropriate. This is a great start. We can go even further to encourage gratitude as a part of our children’s daily lives and ultimately their mindset and way of viewing the world.

Here are four ways to get started today:

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