I’m no longer a breastfeeding mommy. I weaned my baby girl and I don’t plan on having any more children naturally so…. *sniff* I’m done.
I can’t believe myself sometimes. I’m such a wuss. I was just struggling to find words to express how this feels and I started tearing up.
My gosh. Why can’t I just be a G?!
Seriously grateful that I was able to breastfeed my children. With Rohan I was not sure if I could make it past the first few weeks. Then my goal was 6 months, then pushed it to a year, and I ended up weaning him at 13.
Kaya I figured I’d go a year too. My supply was very different with her. Even if she was nursing consistently, I wasn’t producing the same amount and she’d still seem hungry so I supplemented with her a lot more than with Roey.
Then she decided she was over it.
I think because there were so many changes, and my supply was weird, plus she had so much more stimulation… she just …weaned herself!
I offered her many times and she would press her lips together and turn her head!
How dare she!!!
This went on for about 2 weeks on and off.
She would only accept an offer in the night, but since I was trying to get her to sleep through the night again, I stopped offering in the night.
So, with me working and not being able to offer to her all day, not able to pump more than once a day at work, and Kaya turning up her nose at my breast….
Then of course, she gets a cold, and starts rooting for my breast for comfort nursing and I have nothing for her and I feel like the worst scum on earth having to turn her down. #killsself
The week of engorgement was torturous.
It seemed like both babies knew how bad my breasts were hurting and decided to hit, smash, jump on, head butt, and otherwise hurt them more.
I know Kai got some good stuff even though it was only a 9 month stretch. I know she benefitted from a good amount of mother’s milk. And we both benefited from the snuggly close bonding we got to do.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it. I mean, I LOVED being able to provide for her in that way, but I’m happy we’re through with that part too.
Not happy that my breasts have turned into sad brown droopy sacks. ::hunts for plastic surgeon::
But really happy that my body is my body again.
There’s a bit more independence now.
It’s actually really bittersweet. I see Kaya using her sippy cup, crawling, cruising, trying to stand on her own and before I still had the breastfeeding as kind of the link to her lil baby days (yes, I know she’s still a little baby but u know what I mean)
Now, she’s just a big independent bottle fed baby.