The past few weeks since being back from Florida I’ve made a conscious effort to do more things out of the house (with and without the shark and his father) and I’m loving it. The walks I take with Rohan strapped on to me don’t count.
Remember that post when I said I don’t think I’d ever lose myself to motherhood. Well I am glad I’m catching myself before I do. I wasn’t losing myself in the way discussed in that post…I shower daily and will change clothes if barfed on lol…but I was losing my more social side.
I’ve been living a maybe life since even before Rohan was born. And not even a real maybe, where there’s a chance of a yes. I’ve been living the kind of “maybe” your mom gave you when you were little and asked for something, and she totally wasn’t going to give it to you but wanted to shut you up. Those maybes meant no, and we knew it. Since about May I’ve been just giving friends a dry “maybe” to most social suggestions. Especially the ones where wearing a baby would not be appropriate.
Random acquaintances from my past are popping up and back into my life these days and I’m starting to say yes to outings with them…and also saying yes to networking events and outings with new friends. I’m grateful that John’s schedule allows for some mommy escape time.
And I’m even more grateful that I’m loosening my death grip on the boy. I’m slowly feeling more and more comfortable with leaving him for a few hours at a time so I can have a date with his daddy, or go to dinner with a friend.
I don’t want to live a maybe life. I want to have a full life and say “yes.”
In an improv class I used to take, the most important rule was to always say “yes and…”
In the class it was referring to not stopping your fellow actor’s momentum to take a scene in a direction you’d prefer, but to join in and go wherever they were going. But now I’m taking the “yes and” approach with my life and on a broader scale.
I’ve already been saying yes to business opportunities, yes to getting my health back on track, yes to being a conscious mother and wife…so why not say yes to a healthily active social life too? I’m glad I’m making the effort again.
Have you ever caught yourself living a maybe life? What did you do to change it? What are you saying yes to?