Here are a few answers to questions I received after posting the last couple posts on the Interracial Marriage topic. Feel free to keep the questions coming. I’m happy to share my perspective.
- What made you decide to date outside of your race?
- Why do you only date white boys? (One person actually asked “Why don’t you like black men?” LOL)
- Did you expect to marry John (or marry a white guy?)
- Do you and John have culture clashes?
What made you decide to date outside of your race?
I don’t think there was ever a day that I woke up and said. “OK! This is it. Today’s the day I’m going to try some vanilla!” I’ve always found men of all shades from blackestblack to paleasallhell good looking. There doesn’t have to be a finite decision to date interracially unless you choose to make it something momentous in your own head. It’s just dating. If I have to answer the question, I guess I decided to date outside my race when a cutie that wasn’t black asked me out.
Why do you only date white boys?
This kills me. If I meet you for the first time, and you’re wearing a blue shirt, I don’t assume that you only wear blue shirts every day of your life. I’m not sure why the same common sense doesn’t apply when it comes to relationships. I’m not sure why people assume that about me and other women who date interracially. I love black men. I love dark brown skin period. (Whether you’re black or latino or whatever) I do know that some women seek white men out specifically (“swirlers” lol), and actually an interracially married blogger that I used to love reading mentioned that she’s pursued only white guys since she was younger, but most of the women I know that are dating or married to white men currently, have a list of exes that look like a benneton ad. (read: all different colors) I’ve
hooked up with dated guys in every color of the rainbow.
Did you expect to marry John (or a white man?)
Not til I met John. This actually stems from my thoughts about my kids. When I was younger I pictured myself having little brown biscuit babies. Specifically, a feisty daughter that was a mini me (read: brown and adorable!) that I pictured chasing around the house on hair-washing days. In order to get my brown biscuits I’d have to have married a brown father. It wasn’t until John and I got serious that I realized I’d probably be having tan biscuits instead.
Do you and John have culture clashes?
Nothing that’s really race specific; our culture clashes are more to do with how we were raised, than with the race we were raised by. I mean, we’re both American, ultimately. And from the NYC area. If I was fresh from Jamaica and he was fresh from Ireland then maybe we’d have more differences (and awesome accents) to share with each other. I can’t think of any real culture clash. Except John not understanding any reggae songs until I translate them for him and then he’s like “oh my god I hear it now!” I do remember earlier in our relationship him inviting me to his parents’ house for St. Patrick’s day and in my head I was like “I don’t wanna go out drinking with your parents!” I didn’t realize it was anything other than a green beer drinking, get smashed holiday, so I was in party mode, and get to the house and see a whole sit down dinner w/ corned beef and whatnot. lol.