Monthly Goal Setting Tips

monthly goal setting tips okdani blog

You already know I’m a personal development junkie so I thought I would share my monthly goal setting tips and techniques for this fresh month. I’ll be honest, I usually complete my monthly goal setting a day or two before each new month so I’m ready to start the month off with a bang.

Monthly Goal Setting Tips

Look back to look ahead

Take a look at your major goals you’ve set for the year (or quarter) and see where things stand. Don’t judge yourself if you haven’t completed them, just look and be aware of where you are.


Do a Brain Purge of everything bogging up your mind. Old to dos, projects, errands, appointments, ideas, future events, everything. Get it all down in one long list. Order doesn’t matter, neatness and spelling doesn’t count, just get it all out so you can move forward with a clear head.

Sort & Filter

Sort your list. You may be able to just delete some items, move some to later down the line, give some to other people to handle for you. Then filter your list by area of life.

Decide on your month’s focus/plan

What areas of life are you going to be focusing on? What makes the most sense in your life right now? What would be the best focus for what your larger/longer term goals are? Decide on what area you’ll focus on so you don’t dilute your efforts and “waste” time on less important tasks.

setting goals okdani blog

Set Goals for just the month

Use your bigger goals to determine what you will tackle this month. We can consider your monthly goals mini or midsize goals. Get them down on paper. For the love of god do not try to wing it.

Make your goals SMART

I know we’ve covered this before but SMART is an acronym meaning Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. So make sure your goal isn’t vague and fits the SMART criteria.

Create Actions and Prioritize

This is where folks fall off. And it makes all the difference in the world. We cant just write the goal and walk away. We have to break it down into what needs to be done to actually attain it. Then we decide what needs to be done now vs later.

Calendar it ASAP

Whip out your planner or your google calendar….whatever you use…and pencil in the action steps for the next month. I don’t suggest you log action steps further than that because things may need to be tweaked.

Plan your party

Decide what you’re going to do to celebrate your wins. You’re all organized now with your goals broken down into actionable steps so you’re definitely going to get ’em done.

Take action NOW

Do one tiny thing…anything! Making even the tiniest action step forward does a lot for your motivation/drive and esteem. Get to work!!

Now you can just do the bite sized actions each day to reach whatever your goals are. For some folks (including me, sometimes) looking at a list of big lofty amazing goals feels good…and can feels daunting/overwhelming at the same time. That’s why it’s extra important to break it down each month. Things feel better when they’re doable. Good luck!

What are your top goals for the month?

5 Quick Ways to Find Your Zen on Busy Days

Quick and Easy Ways to get centered and Find Your Zen on hectic busy days

Life is more hectic than ever. We are pulled in so many directions at once and we need to be able to find our zen and get re-centered quickly. It would be nice to be able to do a full meditation or yoga class whenever things get crazy stressful but that’s just not always practical. Here are 5 quick ways to find your zen on busy days.

Use Music

Put on a song that you love. This doesn’t have to be some zen instrumental or ocean sounds (unless that’s what you absolutely love.) Use whatever song you’re feeling at the moment and lose yourself in it for those few minutes. If I’m stressed out I will take a quick break, pop my earphones in, close my eyes and listen to Pac lose his mind on Hit Em Up before returning to care for the kids. When the song is over, try to stay in the mood it took you to, whether hyped up and ready for anything (as with the song mentioned above) or chilled out and peaceful.

Create a Focal Point

When things are crazy at work do you notice your eyes drifting to the picture of your family on your desk? This is one way to find your zen. It’s calming to have a focal point photo or image on your phone or computer, even a photo in your wallet to turn to when things get hectic. This helps you shift your mode from cray to zen. Another focal point to use is a mantra. This is just a brief word saying that you can repeat to yourself when you’re ready to go postal. A few mantras to consider are:

  • This too shall pass
  • I am strong and capable
  • Good things are coming my way
  • I am peace, I am love
  • Blessings are all around me
  • I can handle this

Deep Breathing Exercise

OK Stop. Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath in for four counts. Hold it for four counts. Release it for four counts. How do you feel? Good, now do it 2 more times.

It takes under a minute, and it can relax you and get your head back in the game. You can easily find your zen once you’ve given your brain a minute to pause, enjoy the extra oxygen, and prepare to move forward.

This is just one of many breathing exercises that can help you get your mind right in the middle of a busy day. The benefit of this find-your-zen tactic is that nobody else has to know what you’re doing. You can do this practice while your boss (or your evil toddler) is screaming at you. They’ll be none the wiser and you’ll be better able to respond with love.

Moving Meditation

Don’t let the word meditation scare you. A moving meditation can be anything from a morning run or yoga session to washing the dishes or wiping a counter. I like doing a full body stretch when I need to get centered. I literally just stand and touch my toes, remembering to breathe, and turning my focus onto the good stretchy feelings in my back and legs. If you’re at your desk you can just reach both hands in the air and take a few breaths before releasing them.

If a quick stretch is not an option you can flex and release your muscles from your feet all the way up to your shoulders. The point is to take a second to move your body in the way that feels best for you at the moment to find your zen.

Close your eyes

I left the quickest get-zen-quick tip for last. So easy we even guide our toddlers to do it. Just close. your. eyes. (I mean…..unless you’re driving…then maybe do a different tip.) Take a minute and close your eyes. That’s it. You don’t have to do anything else, but you can couple this with a deep breathing technique or repeating a silent mantra….or both.

Closing your eyes physically shuts the stressor out of sight and subconsciously shuts them out of mind. With your eyes closed you can either just enjoy the “blank” space, or visualize your happy place. When super stressed I like to close my eyes and visualize my next step. Then I can just open my eyes and calmly get it done.

It’s your choice!

These are just a few of the many ways you can find your zen during busy days. It takes just a few second to get yourself back on track when things are hectic. Which tactic will you try first?

How do you find your zen?

2016 New Years Resolutions and Goals

2016 goals and resolutions small

Every year I make a new year resolution or two, and then I make my real goals for the year separately.

My goals for 2015 (really a to do list), I crushed em. ::dusts shoulder off::

They were:

  • Buy a home and fix it up bit by bit
  • Improve my financial standing
  • Deepen my spiritual practices
  • Nurture my marriage
  • Be a kickass mom to Kaya and Roey
  • Relaunch my life/wellness coaching business
  • Have visible ab definition
  • Develop my Florida social circle

I reached them all..ish.

*COUGH*except the last two…*COUGH*

I put those last two in orange and not red because they weren’t a total fail. I have slightly more ab definition than I did earlier in the year, but I’m not where I want to be just yet. And I have like 2 friends down here in Florida, not digging the moms I meet at the playground lol..::shrug::… so I did start to develop my FL social circle even though it’s not a very big circle.

I shared my mid-year progress here.

For 2016 my to do list is:

  1. Continue to be an engaged, on-purpose mom to Rohan and Kaya
  2. Get that ab definition I didn’t get in 2015 ::avoids eye contact::
  3. Launch a successful black fitness website and grow it to XX size
  4. Take a kickass family vacation (and be IN the photos)
  5. Earn enough in January to “justify” getting our cleaning lady back for the year 🙂
  6. Make $XXX from my business by Dec 31
  7. Return to making videos 
  8. Expand (a lil) and deepen (a lot) my FL circle of friends
  9. Attend a conference I’ve never been to
  10. Beautify/fix up my home and land more and more

2015 my two resolutions were:

  1. Be out in nature every day – totally did it!
  2. Get my sexy back – totally….almost…kinda sorta…maybe just a little bit did it. (I’m back in shape but not yet satisfied)

This year I’m making a few resolutions.

In 2016 I resolve to…

  1. Get more sleep
  2. Be more open and vulnerable
  3. Be more adventurous and brave

Get More Sleep

I know that sounds like a lazy way to start this year off, but I have had chronic sleep issues ever since I became a mom. I sleep so much lighter now, that almost any sound wakes me up. I was up so much with Roey I got vertigo and was falling down. Then Kaya with her colickiness… ugh. Both kids sleep through the night thankfully, but Ro gets sick sometimes or comes into our room to pee or gets scared…. I sense when Ro wakes up in his room and know he’s on his way in…at some random ungodly hour. And if he doesn’t wake in night (which is most nights, thankfully) he wakes up for good at the buttcrack of dawn (which used to be OK, but I’ve changed my schedule so 5am is not the move anymore.) I sleep in fear. (You can laugh, it’s OK)  I literally sleep in fear and anxiety of Rohan waking me up in the night with a fever or something. So I sleep extra light and wake up often. That’s SO not ok.

Sleep is so important, and is essential to our overall health. My sleep is so erratic and fragmented which effects my energy level, my mood, my eating… it’s all connected. I notice the difference in my patience with the kids (and everyone else) on days when my sleep is crap.


I resolve to nap if the urge hits, no matter if I’ve got a mile-long “to do” list.

I resolve to make John get up with the kids on the weekends.

I resolve to not spend the hours I’m awake in the middle of the night worrying about being poorly rested the following day lol.

I resolve to get some ambien or something if need be.

I resolve to get some more damn sleep!

OMG That was a long explanation wasn’t it?  Anywaaaay….

Be more open and vulnerable

So, this is something I started personally lately and it feels good. I feel like I’m an open person in general, I like to share. Hence: blog. However, I don’t usually show my vulnerable side, or ask for help as much as I could. I realized it in my marriage and catch myself going into my automatic “I’ll handle it, I can fix it” mode when it’s just as easy…and better off for my mental and emotional health… to ask John to handle something (even if he gives me an attitude for the request.)

Being more open this year is being more receptive to the offers that come my way (on any level) and sharing more of me and my story with others in my off-line life and on. With regard to this blog, I started it with the desire to connect and relate… being more open and even more vulnerable here will help in that desire.

Be more adventurous and brave

This is a resolution on a lot of levels. From simple things like trying to cook new meals…to taking a different type of vacation…wearing a crop top or bright lipstick….trying different challenges….exploring around my area…  To “bigger” things like… reaching for goals that are “higher” than my current standing…. submitting to speak at more places…pitching myself to different types of opportunities….

These three resolutions I know are going to be up and down…a constant behind the scenes effort. And certainly a work in progress…but I know that as I work on those resolutions I’ll be happier and even more confident in my daily life.

What is your #1 Goal for 2016? You making any resolutions?


How to Find Your Soulmate Workout

Finding your soulmate workout

In one of my favorite personal development books, I learned the term “Soulmate Workout.” This is the workout that you love, gets you great results, you enjoy doing, and will come back to over and over because you know it’ll always do right by you.

Many people feel like exercise has to be a chore. They hate running, but know it’s effective so they do it…then they procrastinate, stop running, regain weight, etc. That’s not the way to go. There are so many options for getting in shape these days that finding a workout style, or program that you love is possible.

My cousin never worked out a day in her life. She tried a barre class and immediately fell in love. She took classes all the time, and actually woke up early to attend them. She was so great at it that the owner of the company asked her to teach classes. For me, running is my soulmate workout. It’s like that great friend that you speak to once in a blue but immediately fall right back in to that deep comfort level, jokes, familiarity etc.

So, how do you know if a workout is your soulmate?

  1. You enjoy doing it
  2. You look forward to doing it
  3. You’re really good at it, or have the desire to be really good at it
  4. You learn more about it on your own or you tell others about it often
  5. When you try other workouts, you always come back to it

How can you find your soulmate workout?

  1. Know yourself – Do you like gyms, private studios, classes, one on one instruction, working out at home? Do you like dance workouts? Weights? Variety? Fast pace? Jumpin’ around? (I love jumpin’ around) Yoga? Pilates? Biking? Swimming? Go with what you like best and find workouts that fit in that category.
  2. Try a variety of workouts – you don’t have to spend a lot, try a few for free on fitnessblender or youtube to see if it suits your style. You can also do a workout program swap with a friend. I traded my coach friend T25 for her P90X3 so we could both try out something new at no cost. (but I’m going to be doing Max 30 after all)
  3. Give it a fair shake – You’ve got to give whatever you’re trying a chance. I hated spin class the first time I took it. It was so uncomfortable and boring. I tried again with a different instructor, and it was much more comfortable but still boring. Tried a few classes with a popular instructor and almost had a good time! LOL. My point is, if I didn’t try again after the first class I would’ve written it off alltogether. Spinning is not my go to workout, but I enjoy it more than I did after my first go at it.

Have you found your soulmate workout already? What is it?

Check out a bunch of workout plans to try on my pin board: Exercise – Fitness – Wellness

If you’d like to check out beachbody fitness programs on your search for a soulmate, get at me and I can help you pick a winner.