How To Keep Your Marriage Spicy


In October John and I will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. It seems odd to celebrate for 5 years when we’ve been together since I was 19 years old. (yeah…we’re that couple). I don’t plan on getting rid of this guy any time soon.  Unless one of my baes come a callin’ again… so we have to do what we need to do to keep this marriage spicy! I refuse to have a boring marriage, and so should you.

Here are my tips for keeping the spice in your relationship:


Just before sitting down to write this post, I stood silently in the bathroom corner for a good 4 minutes while John finished showering just so I could scare the crap out of him when he turned around and saw me. Random scaring, and other silly games is a constant in our household. Remembering to play keeps your relationship from getting stale and boring. This can be playing card games or drinking games with each other, or cultivating little games that are “just for you” like John and my scaring game…or hey, have a tickle fight. … those often lead to something much more… pleasurable… #justsayin.

I don’t care if you have a weekly date night where you go out dressed to the nines, or just wait for the kids to fall asleep and snuggle on the couch with some wine and netflix. Whatever your style, whatever your date night looks like… just be sure you make time at least once a week to have one. Schedule it like you would an important business meeting. There’s no more important business than your family. Having a steady date night whether big deal or small affair gives you something to look forward to, encourages feelings of comfort and connection, and feelings of partnership. All crucial things in a relationship…especially if you’re trying to keep it spiced up.

NOTE: If you’re not already having date nights, just starting the weekly practice should be your goal. If you are, try spicing them up by doing something new, taking turns planning them, adding in some naughty fun, or otherwise taking them away from the norm.

This tip was inspired by a friend who posted about her Daycation. She and her spouse dropped the kids at school, spontaneously took a day off from work, and had a free day-date-staycation with each other. (They’re now expecting their third child) When you are busy with work, kids, business, school etc.. sometimes you have to be spontaneous and creative to keep the spice in your marriage. I encourage you to take a day together, child-free, and enjoy each other (take that any way you want.) No work, no chores, no errands or to-dos. Just full on quality time together as a unit.
Be Naughty

Hey, we’re all grown folks here. We all know the sexless marriage stereotype. I refuse for us to go down like that. Staying physically connected is essential for a happy, spicy marriage. Some folks say schedule naughty nights, some folks say that ruins the “mood.” I say, do whatever works for you two, but be sure you DO IT. (and do it well!) Keep things fresh by using toys, cute (or slutty) outfits, games, lubricants, roleplay or even just a blind fold. Go 50 shades of gray on your partner if you wanna, hell, try new things together in the bedroom (or other rooms)….just make sure you are gettin’ it in…so to speak.
Stay Healthy/Sexy

You know what happens. You get married, you have kids. You have a million and one responsibilities, and you start to let your self go. Your waistline expands, your energy level drops, and you feel blah about yourself and less of a physical connection with your partner. Don’t let it happen!! Keep it together folks! Get regular exercise, eat healthily, keep your self care on point. And be sure your partner does the same. You don’t want the attraction to fade so you both need to hold up your end of the fit n sexy bargain. You can do a “two-fer” by making exercise a joint venture, one of your date nights could be a lil gym time, or a jog together with your spouse.

What do you do to keep the spice in your relationship?

This post was inspired by K-Y and they have a spicy giveaway for you! Leave a comment below about how you keep the spice alive in your relationship to win a K-Y Yours and Mine Kit! (winner will be chosen randomly using


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  1. says

    I was just talking to DH about this. We’ve been married a little over two years now but been together for 8 in total. I started dating him when I was 18 so I guess we’re THAT couple too. But after that much time together it’s easy to get dull,if we let it. Luckily, we are naturally playful people and always having fun together. Plus, we schedule date nights every week.

    I’m trying to spice things up by using my pole more for naughty purposes. I was so caught up in making it known I’m not stripper and using it for fitness, that I forgot that it is ok to use that apparatus for being a stripper for my hubby!

  2. says

    I’ll admit we’re usually really good at this (no kids yet) but since getting pregnant I feel like I’ve let everything go unless I’m going to work. On the weekends he’s lucky if I do anything remotely close to naughty. So how do you get your sexy back while your baby is cooking?? I guess this is less of a comment and more of a question. Sorry for slightly changing the subject. Also I’m pinning this as a reminder for after baby does come.

    • Dani says

      Girl we had more sex than a lil bit while I was pregnant. I got kinda horny when preggo. First trimester I was nauseious so we’d have to stop in the middle….John sure LOVED that….lol, and we stopped toward the end of the 3rd trimester when it was just uncomfortable. But that 2nd trimester… whooooooweeee. Just decide to have a lil more. Do it on a day you’re feeling really good. And if full on sex isn’t for you… do…other..things 🙂

  3. says

    We have two kids 10 and almost 10 months. We also do not live near any family so baby sitters are scarce. Occasionally the baby will be totally entertained by the 10 year old and we sneak off for a QUICKIE. Or we play hide and seek and the 10 year old had to hide with the baby and we get it in then lol!!! Fun times.

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