First the rant.
People can be so nasty and such small-minded pathetic losers. I get emails from readers, mostly asking for hair help, or thanking me for something I posted, giving a comment or suggestion or asking random questions about me, and even John. Usually they’re just regular questions and comments. I appreciate them, and try to answer them as best I can.
But. Sometimes I get emails that make me want to punch people in the throat.
Like questions asking me if my parents are okay with me sinning by “shacking up” with John before we were married. (Yes, by the way, they were OK with it because it’s not a sin to us.) Telling me about who I am because my husband is white, like you have any clue what it’s like to walk in my shoes. (I love how dating outside your race means you only date outside your race or you hate your race. get a grip people. a firm one)
Some of the passive aggressive comments are funny, like this one woman who told me I could be so pretty if I wore makeup. (thanks lady.) But sometimes (ok, maybe certain times of the month?) I read these comments and just want to slap a bitch.
Here are a couple gems:
1. you’re clearly latina and I can tell because of your wavy hair and how you talk on youtube.
Sweetie, we can take a flight to countries in Africa right now and find black women with looser curls than me. As for how I talk, I can barely string two words together some times, how are you finding latina accents? Sit down.
2. did your husband think you were pregnant when he proposed?
Yes. That’s the only reason he married me. As a matter of fact, I had a small pillow hidden under my shirt like the chick from Glee for weeks just so I could get that ring. Then I “miscarried” right after the proposal. Yup. That’s what happened. Dummy.
I read a post on JC’s blog The Natural Haven and she turned her dealings with these nasty emailers/commenters into a positive post. She urged people to avoid the “energy vampires” as she called them. She’s kinder than I am.
Jennifer from Babymaking Machine deals with this a lot. She’s great at ignoring and gracefully responding to the passive aggressive holier (or mommier) than thou comments but I cannot imagine the nasty mail she must get as a black Mormon married to a white man, in the south, and raising her beautiful daughter the way she sees fit. I’m convinced the mean mommy bloggers are the worst of the bunch when it comes to evil comments/emails. Snarky heffas.
I’ve ignored these nasty emailers up until now and after this post I’ll likely give them no more play. But I want to urge all of you who write meanspirited emails to women who share their lives, thoughts and information with you to just think hard before you hit send. Think about the real reason you’re sending the things you are, think about your motives and what you hope to get out of sending the email, think about how you want your message to be received and think about the message it sends about you.
Now, on to the questions – the “normal” questions. I’ve just pulled the questions out of the emails instead of putting the whole emails here, for length’s sake.
Where did you grow up?
Back and forth between palm beach, brooklyn and long island.
Do you do hair?
Not for a living if that’s what you meant, but I enjoy doing it. I dye and straighten my mom’s hair all the time and I do my own lol if that counts.
Why are you in two schools?
I didn’t realize I didn’t explain this fully, sorry guys. I go to NYU for my life coaching certificate. I go to Liberty University for my MS in Counseling.
What do you and your husband do?
His career was always sales in the day and bouncing at night. Sales in the mortgage industry until that industry collapsed, and then sales in IT. He’s now in school pursuing his longtime dream and still bouncing.
My 9-5 is as an office manager and executive assistant at a fund of hedge funds. My part time jobs (and hopefully soon-to-be full time jobs) are as a coach/consultant and I still do some freelance photography.
Are you on facebook and twitter?
I’m on twitter as @okdani. But I barely tweet. i’ve got to get better at that.
I’m on facebook and have a page for my coaching business and photography business there as well. I don’t go on as much as I should though.
Did you start TTC yet? Will you be posting about your pregnancy and baby pictures when LO arrives?
Yes, we recently started and it’s exciting and anxiety-making. Lots of waiting in the daggone TTC game. I am totally posting about my pregnancy! Are you kidding? And you all are going to get sick of my child cuz every daggone post will be OMG she inhaled…*pic*…OMG she exhaled *pic*
Does your family like John?
Ha! Yes they like him. (He’s exactly like my dad. it’s disgusting.) And his family likes me. And even if our families didn’t like our choice of mates they’re stuck with us! hehehe
What religion are you? / Do you go to church?
I’m a christ-identified non-religious person. lol. I don’t go to church and never have, I do watch Joel Osteen and that’s just enough church for me. I say I’m Christ-identified because while I feel religions are make believe, un-necessary, dangerous, mind control and can be harmful dividing tools, I was brought up Christian, went to a Christian school for my formative years and feel people should strive to be Christ like (not necessarily Jesus Christ…Buddah Christ and all the other avatars count too.)
Do you and your husband tell each other everything?
For the most part, yes. We tell each other the most mundane things as well as the big. I love it. (unless I’m PMSing and then in my head I’m like “i don’t give a fuck if you had steak for dinner leave me alooooone”) I don’t tell him some things like when I get hit on, unless there’s a funny story around it.
Why don’t you vlog and do youtube anymore?
I just have no desire to do hair vlogs for youtube anymore. ::shrug:: I’m thinking in the future I’ll be vlogging in relation to my careers, and may vlog for this blog because it’s just so easy! But, not sure yet. Do people prefer vlog entries to blog posts?
That’s it for now. Whew!! That was a lot. Hope you all are having a kickass week so far.
PS – let me know if you do vlog posts and how you integrate them on your blog, also, do you like vlog entries versus blog entries on other people’s blogs?