Kaya’s Birth Story (Part 1)


I’m doing this in two parts. If you want more birth story goodness you can also read Rohan’s Birth Story

The night before Kaya’s birthday we took Rohan over to my mom n dad’s house. I came home and could barely sleep. (And not from the usual heartburny, constant peeing, always uncomfortable 9 months pregnant woes) I was so anxious. Convinced I was going to die on the table the next day. (I made John promise to live close to my mom so she could help raise the kids.)

I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 9:30. We arrived and after a bit of a delay (waiting for a completely unnecessary wheelchair) we made it up into the room where I’d be prepped for my repeat cesarean. I peed in a cup, got blood drawn, and was hooked up to an IV to receive a bag of fluid. My nurse gave me the run-down of what was going to happen and then we just had to hurry up and wait.

The doctor came in and I was surprised at how my black female doctor Brown had morphed into a white male Dr. Cohen. Immediately my nervousness commenced. But he seemed nice and again gave me the run-down and answered all 50-11 of my questions… Including: “Are you gunna go through the same hole or are you gunna put an equal sign on my belly?” Thankfully he didn’t skip a beat in saying he’d use the same or directly beneath. *whew!*

The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the full scoop on the spinal, and John was given his scrubs. It was about to get really real. We were told we had to wait a bit, but then 5 seconds later they started to wheel me out to the (freeezing) operating room. I got hooked up to more beeping machines, and the anesthesiologist started her spinal procedure.

I was curled over a pillow unmoving, barely breathing, and only mildly nervous. Until *prick!* she poked in her spinal juice and my left leg jumped so high. Immediately that leg was numb….and everything else was regular. Very, very slowly I started to feel a bit of numbness go do my other leg. But not fully and nothing happened to my tummy.

On goes the oxygen mask. (Honestly my first thought was, oh great now my nose is going to be chapped for days – and it was.)

“I’m not numb.” I said, and I was told by one of the nurses that I just needed to lay down and things would take effect.

The nurses all helped me lay back, and I got strapped to the table :( It was very scary for a moment and I just wanted John to be there next to me. I was laying and waiting for the spinal to make it to my tummy and chest.

No such luck.

The doctor kept pinching me (hard) and asking me if I could feel it. I was just like “OW! yes!” every time. (I wanted to kick him….but I couldn’t lift that left leg!) They couldn’t give me more meds because of my weight and the dose they already injected. So, they started carnival rides instead.

Yes, carnival rides.

There was some remote control that tilted the bed left, right, up down….everywhichaway and at one point I was almost all the way upside down. Head to the floor, legs to the sky. Naked. Strapped to a table. Drugged. Unable to move my legs.

Definitely my best moment in life. ::sigh::

So the bed tilting didn’t work, but just to be sure they did the annoying (and painful) pinch test for a while before they believed me. Then more carnival rides.

“Can someone get my husband please?”

We can as soon as we know you’re properly numb.

In that case, John’s never coming in here. I thought

“OK Fine.” I said

S-l-o-w-l-y the numbness raised to a level the doctor was comfortable with. But I wasn’t.

I saw someone lead John into the room.


I know from last time that I’d feel tugging and pulling and stretching feelings, but the sensation of my doctor’s hands on me was just too…acute. I just knew something was up, and I told them it’s not right.

“I think something’s wrong.” I said.

The anesthetist knew she’d effed up too, because she just kept on saying “she got the right amount.” “her back was perfect” “she got a good spinal” and things like that. I wanted to slap her. Thankfully the doctor listened to me and my intuition, and not that stupid chick.

I saw someone lead John out of the room.


He waited longer, and did more carnival game bed tilting, until his pinch test was way less ‘ouchie.’ Once he was pinching me at my sternum but felt like a feather gently rubbing accross my skin I was satisfied.

The doctor was satisfied too.

John came in again and immediately I start tearing up. The doctor and his student get ready to go to work, and the anesthesiologist goes in explaining to John what happened with the pinch test, and levels of numbness….and she doesn’t forget to mention that “she got the right amount” “her back was perfect” “she got a good spinal.”

I just wanted her to shut up. The doctor was just like “Oh every person’s body is different, we take to certain things in certain ways. bla bla bla bla”

John and I locked eyes. He knew as well as I did, that I got a botched spinal and I was in for a brutal ride.

Stay tuned for part two….


What was your birth experience like?



Rohan Meets Kaya

Roey holds kaya

When Rohan first met Kaya, he was just released from a 1.5 hour car ride, and was at home for the first time in 4 days. He was a wild man. Running here and there, shreiking, pointing at and labeling everything in sight, screaming everyone’s name and hugging everyone.

Except me.

Except the lady holding the baby.

I cried.

My mom guided him over and was like Rohan here’s Kaya, this is your sister. He said: Whoa! Cool! And commenced running, shrieking, pointing and labeling.

I was disappointed.

Later on, when he’d settled in and calmed down to his normal self. He came to me and gave hugs and was all mama mama mama again. He took some long looks at Kaya but didn’t say much or try to touch her. We encouraged him to touch her hand gently, but he wanted no part of it.

When I was changing her, he came over and watched, still silent. But just nodding slowly. This is odd because normally he’s asking questions about everything, touching everything and opening everything. But he just watched tentatively not moving besides nodding.

ro and kai


On the second day, he was a little braver. He touched her hand (stole her mitten) and gave her kisses before his nap and before bed. He raced over when she cried, and he calls out for her and waves “hiiiii” in her face. I think he wonders why she doesn’t respond.

Since then he’s been great about her. I have to remind him to be gentle, and watch like a hawk if she’s in her rocker while he’s tornado-ing around the living room. He hears her first when she wakes up, and screams “KAYA FUSSING!” and bounds down the hall and waits for me to catch up. He loves helping, and will get her items for changes, and blankets and whatnot. He loves giving her kisses and hugs and is brazenly touching her, reading to her and showing off his coloring pages to her. lol.


Roey Kisses Kaya

HOWEVER…. In general, his behavior has started deteriorating. He’s tantrumming more than ever, and I’m not sure if it’s because of “terrible two” toddlerness, or if it’s Kaya related. Maybe a bit of both. ::shrug::  He’s gotten a few time outs, and boy does he hate that.  Luckily, threatening time outs gets his behavior back on track…usually. (He’s lucky he hasn’t gotten punched in the face yet.)

Overall He’s a great big brother, and loves when we praise him for being one. He’s dealing with a bit of jealousy but he’s such a resilient lil trooper that he’s handling it in stride. Giving him special one on one Roey/Mommy time helps. But, I can’t wait until they can play together.

Any ideas on how to keep making big bro feel extra special?

Kaya Questions and Answers


I’ve gotten more questions about Kaya in the past 10 days than I ever got when Rohan was born. I’ll try to answer some of them now since lots of people are asking the same questions:

Why Kaya Marie? How’d you pick her name? 

I wanted Kaya for a while…remember? But I wanted to be able to call her Kai cuz I just love that name and John thought just Kai was no good. So we went around with a few names, I wanted either a boy name like Noah or Aedan, or an open “flowy name” like Hannah or Sarah. We had Ananda for a while, and Zahra was also in the running…till Kaya just fit perfect. Rhymes with Maya which is a name I wanted before I ever had kids.

It means different things in different languages but my fave meanings are: Little but wise, and Pure.

Marie is my mom’s middle name so we went with that since Rohan has his great grandfather’s name for his middle.

What is her nickname?

Well, my intention was to call her Kai…but I find myself adding to her name instead of shortening. Kayabear, Kayabelle, Kayabean….etc…  #backwards #whocaresmamasinlove

What color are her eyes?

John wants them to be blue like his. I don’t know what color they’ll end up, but the glassy dark blue color that all newborns seem to have is starting to lift. In my opinion her eyes will be lighter than Rohans, maybe light brown or hazel? ::shrug:: All I know is, I was 100% certain that Rohan’s eyes were going to be dark brown. Kaya’s just don’t have the same look….

ro and kai

How’s Rohan with her?

Going to do a full post on this, but he’s good with her. He freaked out one morning when she didn’t have a hat on and ran to go get one for her. We are working on him being gentle with her and careful around her. He gets so excited and wild…I worry, but I know overall he loves his little sister and just wants to touch her and help her.

Are you breastfeeding her?

But of course! I was nervous that I’d have issues with my milk coming in. It took a little longer than it did the first time. But we’re all good. She’s nursing all the time and my nipples hurt like a sonofagun. A full “Adventures in Breastfeeding” post is coming soon.

How was the c-section?

Horrendous. Brutal. Awful. Scary. ::shudder:: Glad I’m never having more children. Glad Kaya came safe and sound and I made it out OK. But I’ll tell you about that in the birth story.


Who does she look like?

We have no idea. This lil girl is a shapeshifter. I see John, I see Jack (John’s dad), I see my aunt Mena (My dad’s aunt), I see Rohan, I see my dad, I see….a friendly italian baker named mario….I see the singer Ashanti LOL  We have no clue. She definitely has John’s eyes though. And she has my one right-cheek dimple. We’re going to have to wait and see. Right now I say John’s got claim to this one.

How is John with her?

He treats her like she is the most fragile thing in the world. Watching him change her diaper for the first time (a 25 minute affair) was pure comedy. It’s sweet, but I don’t think it’ll last. He treated Rohan like a dozen eggs for the first few weeks of his life, too. Once that breastmilk started to plump up the limbs he got more comfortable and “normal” with him. I predict the same thing happening with Kaya. I will say, he’s in love with her. I felt like while I was pregnant, he wasn’t as in love with her as he was when Rohan was inside. Less talking to her thru the belly and whatnot. But now that she’s here, he’s properly in love as he should be. I really feel sorry for the little boys that come chasing after her. With her dad, her brother, her uncle and her crazy grampa…This girl is gunna be pissed….but protected lol.

If you have any Kaya Questions send em my way! What questions did you get when your lil ones were born?

More Bang For My Diaper-Buying Buck

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well beginnings diaper review well-beginnings-logo-610x305

We were not flush with cash growing up, but we always had what we needed. My family was always great with money. Spending more on the things they valued, and saving everywhere they could. My mom always taught me to get the most bang for my buck, save, “pay” myself first, but not be such a penny-pincher that you didn’t enjoy what money could buy.

Now that they’ve moved up in financial standing, my mom is all “oh Dan, we must buy it…we’re LOSING money not buying it….” LOL…. but I digress…

I’m grateful for the financial lessons I was taught growing up, both by observation, and implicit lessons. I’m now able to balance John’s different way of viewing money and spending, and I know my children will learn to be good and balanced with money too. Being smart with our money leads us to be more open to trying different brands of products and happily we tend to find new fave brands that are often cheaper than our old faves!

You guys already know, I’ve got one lil poop monster and another mini poop monster on the way. I’m working at home, heavily pregnant, pinching our pennies, and my time is limited. Everything I can do to get more bang for my buck is essential. I’m open to all.


well beginnings diaper image


The Well Beginnings diapers are one of the “bang for buck” products I use. Easy to pick up at the Walgreens around the corner, and easy on my wallet and budget too.

More importantly, they work well, stay dry on Roey’s butt after pee, and holds up well overnight. I used to use them when Roey was younger and my only gripe was that they weren’t as soft and snuggly as other brands. But now that Roey’s bigger I’m not concerned with the softness as much. They’re soft enough, surprisingly thin yet hold a good amount without being soaky.  My fave part is they fit him well and he’s a mover and a shaker and they hold up!

I’m glad I’ve got another brand of diaper in my arsenal of “go-to” brands. Good thing I was open to finding one that was more bang for my buck!

Have you discovered any new brands you like recently?

well beginnings diaper review

I Miss Breastfeeding

i miss breastfeeding

::sigh:: Girls, I miss breastfeeding.

Everyone says you’ll miss being pregnant once you have your baby.

They’re filthy liars.

What you never hear (or at least I’ve never heard) is that you’ll miss nursing.

I can’t believe how much I miss breastfeeding Roey. If I pass by a photo in my old breastfeeding blog posts or album on the computer of him nursing I get this pang in my chest of straight up longing.

I miss it.

I miss the closeness of it, the feelings of value I derived from it, and I miss seeing the cute lil nursing face he made.

I really miss the magical sleep-inducing effect of it too! Sometimes when he’s running around like the cray cray toddler that he is, I wish I could just pop a magic boob in his mouth and have him pass out 10 minutes later.

silly baby

I’m ready for BabyH2.0 to get here so I can nurse again. I know that first 4-6 weeks is going to be super painful and sucky, and I’m prepared for it. But after the nipples are healed up, it’s going to be glorious.

I’m re-reading my fave breastfeeding book in preparation. Fingers crossed that baby girl is a good latcher like her guzzlegut brother was.

Only 5 more weeks and I’ll get to start again!

Did you miss breastfeeding too?

FYI – I am ALL in my feelings, so this week, you’re gunna be all in my feelings too! LOL. Lots of “mommy diary” type posts like this one, talking to you girls about my pre-2nd baby thoughts. – YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.

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