How to Find Your Soulmate Workout

Finding your soulmate workout

In one of my favorite personal development books, I learned the term “Soulmate Workout.” This is the workout that you love, gets you great results, you enjoy doing, and will come back to over and over because you know it’ll always do right by you.

Many people feel like exercise has to be a chore. They hate running, but know it’s effective so they do it…then they procrastinate, stop running, regain weight, etc. That’s not the way to go. There are so many options for getting in shape these days that finding a workout style, or program that you love is possible.

My cousin never worked out a day in her life. She tried a barre class and immediately fell in love. She took classes all the time, and actually woke up early to attend them. She was so great at it that the owner of the company asked her to teach classes. For me, running is my soulmate workout. It’s like that great friend that you speak to once in a blue but immediately fall right back in to that deep comfort level, jokes, familiarity etc.

So, how do you know if a workout is your soulmate?

  1. You enjoy doing it
  2. You look forward to doing it
  3. You’re really good at it, or have the desire to be really good at it
  4. You learn more about it on your own or you tell others about it often
  5. When you try other workouts, you always come back to it

How can you find your soulmate workout?

  1. Know yourself – Do you like gyms, private studios, classes, one on one instruction, working out at home? Do you like dance workouts? Weights? Variety? Fast pace? Jumpin’ around? (I love jumpin’ around) Yoga? Pilates? Biking? Swimming? Go with what you like best and find workouts that fit in that category.
  2. Try a variety of workouts – you don’t have to spend a lot, try a few for free on fitnessblender or youtube to see if it suits your style. You can also do a workout program swap with a friend. I traded my coach friend T25 for her P90X3 so we could both try out something new at no cost. (but I’m going to be doing Max 30 after all)
  3. Give it a fair shake – You’ve got to give whatever you’re trying a chance. I hated spin class the first time I took it. It was so uncomfortable and boring. I tried again with a different instructor, and it was much more comfortable but still boring. Tried a few classes with a popular instructor and almost had a good time! LOL. My point is, if I didn’t try again after the first class I would’ve written it off alltogether. Spinning is not my go to workout, but I enjoy it more than I did after my first go at it.

Have you found your soulmate workout already? What is it?

Check out a bunch of workout plans to try on my pin board: Exercise – Fitness – Wellness

If you’d like to check out beachbody fitness programs on your search for a soulmate, get at me and I can help you pick a winner.

The Secret to Creating Balance In Your Life

secret to creating balance in your life

Motherhood. Family life. School. Relationships. Health and wellness. Home Maintenance. Marriage. Day job. Side Hustle. Night Job. Self Care. Volunteering. Hobbies. Free time. Travel. PTA. Church. Weddings. Funerals. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Appointments out the wazzoo.

And….everything else in life at large.

That’s a lotta shit to handle. All. the. time.

A lot to… balance…. if you will. 🙂

Balance is a tricky word. We’re given such a narrow window of what it’s “supposed” to look like, aren’t we?  When you pull images of balance you see equal scales, you see people spinning multiple plates equally at once and other similar imagery.

Balance does not mean Equal

Please don’t judge yourself or your level of balance by how equally you’re spending your time in each life area.

Release that and free yourself from that narrow “ideal.”

If you feel off balance, you simply have to reset your definitions and act accordingly.

Balance is similar to success, in that you have to define it for yourself. Decide what it means to you, and let that be how you measure it.

If you’re outchea thinking balance means spending equal amounts of time each day on each of the various areas of your life… then… you’re setting yourself up for failure, shame spirals and disappointment. You can take your scale and go the hell on.

Time to redefine balance.

Think about what you want balance to mean to you. What does YOUR balanced life look like? How much time do YOU spend each day, week, month, year, on each area of your life?

Tip: You don’t have to do every single thing every single day.

My Balance Strategy:

I like to work in quarters/months for some areas: giving back, travel/outdoor adventures, extended family visits, financial planning, home improvement.

Weekly in others: quality time with John, funtime/lazytime, business pursuits, creativity, home-making, self care, personal development, friendships.

Daily in the rest: quality time with kids, work, spirituality, fitness,

For me, my life is balanced if I satisfy these various life areas within the respective time frames. It works with my priorities because my daily #1 is Roey and Kaya.

What is it for you?

Balance is fluid.

Meaning, if something pops up (an emergency or event, or the holidays) you can pour your energy in different areas temporarily, and then get back to your “normal” balance once those events are over.  (Example: jobhunting, home renovations, travel, etc)

Balance is about being realistic and honest.

It would be lovely to give everything the same amount of attention… but that’s not feasible. When life happens, certain areas take on more weight than others. Example: When I’m on a deadline with a writing project for a client I will prioritize it above reading for personal development for that day or week.

Be honest with yourself about what you value, what you want to include in your life and what you want to release. Be realistic about your priorities and it’ll be easier to create your definition of balance and have your life reflect it.

How do you define balance?

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Momshell 101 – 7 Day Jumpstart

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Eight Secrets To Creating More Time (Without Waking Up Earlier)

creating more time

I need more time!! I have no time!!

The lament of all us mothers…fathers…aunties…play cousins…people with jobs…people over the age of 18…people alive…ever…

We have so many obligations, and numerous areas of our life requiring huge chunks of our precious time. Whether it be jobs, children, spouses, volunteering, or just a full social calendar, we need to maximize our time so we don’t get burnt out or feel consistently behind the eight ball. That’s added stress we don’t need.

Please don’t tell me I have the same amount of hours in a day as Oprah. That doesn’t do a thing for me but make me dislike you.

I’m still working on breaking the time space continuum so we can get more than 24 hours in a day. Something about my math aint adding up though, and I didn’t take physics in college… so we may still be a few years away from my Nobel prize winning breakthrough. Until then I’m just going to continue to wake up early and get sh*t done.

Heard a rumor though…. A little birdie told me… some folks don’t like to wake up early! Who’da thunk it?! Honestly I’m not sure what’s unappealing about rising bleary eyed at the call of a shrill alarm an hour or two before necessary. On your feet earlier than the sun…and roosters. Sounds great to me! (Are you rolling your eyes yet?)

Since some folks wanna resist the early rise… I got something for ya. A few easy peasy ways to create more time and space in your life without waking up earlier.

Shop Online

I suspect if you’re reading this blog you already are a web savvy chica. So I’m sure you’re doing at least a lil comparison shopping online. Using the interwebs to do your shopping saves time (and gas, and money…. and gas money) that you can spend elsewhere. If you “shop like a man” online it’s even more of a time saver. Just head to the store’s site for the exact item you need, pop it in your cart and be done with it. If you’re like me, and compare for the best deals… you may not end up saving much time at all! (But at least it’ll be convenient!)

(Click here to find out how to save money shopping for anything online)

Review Your Calendar

You have a million events, appointments and obligations filling your days (and nights) so take a moment to review your calendar for the week. What can you gracefully remove? Cut out what makes you groan, or feel anxious, or whatever you’re dreading. (Unless it’s work, don’t cut that out. Even if you’re dreading it.)  Is there a party you’d rather not attend? A date you’d rather postpone? Do it if you’re moved to. And do it guiltlessly.

Recurring Delivery 

Set up recurring delivery of items you consistently use. This saves you time, and a headache. Amazon has a great program and also saves you money when you order your items on subscription. Jet, a newer company, also has subscription service available for your commonly used items.


If you have less choices, you spend less time in indecision. Simplify your life to gain more time to do what you want. A simplified wardrobe means less hours wasted finding something to wear. A simplified eating plan makes food choices easier and meal prep and cooking shorter. What items in your life can you simplify to save time? Every day it seems another convenience product pops up that can help you simplify your life to save time. The meal-in-a-box subscription services are a lifesaver. Check out Blue Apron, Plated or Hello Fresh if you’re interested.

Grocery delivery

If you’d rather have more control over your meals but still want the time saving and ease… try having your groceries delivered. I went a full year using fresh direct every single week back in NYC. It is such a time saver to grocery shop online from anywhere and know your food will arrive within a specific window of your choosing. You save hours! If Fresh Direct isn’t for you, try Peapod. There are more services popping up all over.

Trim a habit

What habits do you have that you can shorten? Trade a long jog for a shorter HIIT workout. Omit a few (un-necessary) steps from your haircare routine. Opt for a Rachel Ray style 30 minute meal instead of cooking up a longer feast. Think through your habits and see how you can tweak them to be a time saver. Note: this must be a real habit. Something that you do by default each day (or week)  and don’t have to force yourself to do.

Rethink TV

I spoke to a doctor, and he informed me that you actually will not die if you don’t find out what happens with Lucious and Cookie, Olivia and Fitz, Analise Keating and her wig, or The housewives of wherever. So, with that in mind. Rethink catching your shows as they air (or at all). You can free up 1/2 hour up to several hours a day, depending on your TV-watching lifestyle. If you’re getting hives just thinking of missing your shows all-together, just DVR or watch them on-demand on a day you have less obligations pulling on your time.

Schedule it in

This is my favorite tip because it gives you a nice chunk of time that you can use as you desire without activating any feelings of guilt or “shouldda couldda wouldda” syndrome. If you schedule your “free” time into your daily planner, and treat it as if it’s any other agenda item, you are golden. What will you do with your chunk of time?

If you get creative and press the easy button with some things, it’s not too hard to create more time in your life. Start with some of these tips and go from there. Now the big question. What will you do with all that time you free up?

How will you create more time in your days?

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How to Recover from a Fitness Setback #FitnessFriday

  how to recover from a fitness setback

How to Recover from a Fitness Setback

It happens to the best of us. We’re chugging along at a decent pace, eating fairly well, working out, making the healthier choice when faced with a tempting option… and then… Boom. You have a vacation, or you party too hard, or you go to your gram’s house ::avoids eye contact::, or the holidays hit, or you have company over, or life gets super hectic and busy, or you just get plain lazy and stop…

It doesn’t matter the reason (read: excuse).

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen.

The only thing that matters is getting back on track.

That’s where I am today.

I was eating pretty clean (not as clean as I’d like because it lowers my milk production) and having my date night’s with Shaun T. And then… Hello Florida! (read: hello rice with every dinner, hello mountains of food prepared for me, hello sweet juice, goodbye Shaun, goodbye sneakers & shakeology…ok…you get the point) So here I am after gaining 8lbs in just 2 weeks ::sobs:: I was no where near my goal before my setback, so seeing the weight gain, feeling the difference in my body, energy etc… It’s really frustrating. But… no time for that.

Here are 4 easy steps to get back on track after a set back:

1. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

Pretty simple, right?! It’s no use berating yourself for not doing what will get you closer to your fitness goals. This does nothing for your motivation or state of mind. Instead, compliment yourself for not backsliding further. Congratulate yourself for deciding to take the reigns again and go in the right direction. The past cant be edited so focus on right now.

This has been a year full of fitness setbacks for me, if I were to dwell on that, I would just demotivate myself further. I choose to focus on the fact that I’m getting back up after I fall.

2. Take a Baby Step

Get up and drink a glass of water. Stand up and touch your toes and do a stretch. Walk around the block. Do 10 crunches. Do Something…ANYTHING… right that instant. This resets you, and gets you feeling good about yourself instantly. Your mind goes back into “I got this” mode, and you’re ready to move forward with larger healthy habit steps.

My personal baby step is bustin’ out 20 squats and drinking a large glass of water.

3. Make Your Plan

Are you going to continue the nutrition plan and exercise regimen you were doing before your setback or will you try a new course of action? Whatever it is, make your plan in writing. Then write it again (or post it digitally somehow) and keep it visible so you subtly recommit mentally each time you see it.

I was doing T25 and mixing in some 21 Day Fix workouts, but I wasn’t sticking to the 21 Day Fix nutrition plan. So I’m going to return to my modified clean diet and T25 Beta.

4. Start Immediately

There is no reason to wait for the first of the year, first of the month, Monday, or tomorrow. Whatever plan you’ve made to recover from your fitness set back… whether you’re starting with a refresh or a cleanse…or just taking another baby step and working your way back in slowly. Do. It. NOW.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been off course. Whether a few days, weeks, months…hell…even years. What matters is that you refocus, and get back on track asap.

You can do this.


As for me. I am feeling so sluggish and heavy, I’m going to do a personal refresh or what I call my “wellness weekend.” I’ll tell you all about it, but short story is that it’s a weekend of light working out, heavy water drinking, light eating (shakeology, fruits and veggies only), and lots of spiritual and personal development. It gives me a positive jump start, and gets me back on course toward reaching my fitness goals.

How do you get back on track after a setback?

Hope you have a fantastic weekend!!




Questions for Your Hair Year Review

I should have posted this for you ladies weeks ago! I had it in my drafts but never clicked the publish button! ::sigh::

As you read this…pretend it’s new years day. LOL
The excitement of the new year and fresh start is palpable. We are all ready to start 2013 with new resolutions, goals, and plans to be better than ever. This is wonderful, but I wonder how many of us have taken any time out to take stock of 2012? In my coaching practice I have my clients “close out” the year by looking back at how far they’ve come, how they’ve grown, and what they have learned and can do better in the upcoming year.

As natural hair enthusiasts and hair-oriented women, I say we must do the same year overview as it relates to our hair. We are quick to set goals saying “Oh I want to get to APL, BSL etc..” and I feel we should be just as quick to look back at what we’ve accomplished hair-wise as well.

Consider asking yourself a few of the questions below:

  • Overall, how did I feel about my hair this year?
  • What did I learn about my hair this year?
  • What did I find that worked well for me?
  • What did I find or try that I will never try again?
  • What techniques or tweaks to my regimen did I enjoy?
  • How did I feel about my hair in January, versus July, and December?
  • How has my hair grown this year?
  • How do I relate to my hair now versus earlier in the year?
  • How have my hair goals changed from 2012 to 2013?
  • What were my goals for 2012? Did I reach them?

Questions like these get you clear on your progress from the prior year, and set you up for success in the year to come.

Here’s hoping you had a successful 2012 and reach your hair goals this year!

Happy New Year 😉