5 Years Of Marriage Lessons

5  year marriage

As of this May, John and I have been together for 14 years, and today is our 5 year wedding anniversary.

I’m in Atlanta for a blogging conference, and he’s at home with Roeybear and Kayabelle.  Que Romantico!

Since we got married back in 2010, John and I have been through so many ups downs and in betweens. That for better or for worse shit is really real. Our first year of marriage was the best (tho ppl claim it’s the hardest) and this past year was a close second.

What I learned about marriage this year:

1. Kids are wicked little cockblockers sent from evil storks to ruin marriages

Seriously. They must not want siblings. Children will drain your energy, and then if you still find a way to feel even the slightest bit frisky, they’ll pop up in your room at night when you’re tryin to get it on like:


2. Quality Time is Crucial

I didn’t realize the true value of quality time until I had much more of it. I know it’s my love language. But now that we’re down here in florida, so close to family, we always have willing folks to watch the kids for us (for free!) John and I are able to get date nights in and daycations in a lot more. That adult-only time to connect, talk, relax etc. is so key in keeping our relationship from turning into a shit show.

3. If you don’t marry your best friend, you’ll be sorry

Honestly. If I hadn’t I’d be in jail. #thatisall

4. Laughter is like glue

If you’re not funny, you can’t sit with me. Luckiliy, this dude I married has me guffawing and kee keeing daily. Life is better with laughter. It gives me all kinds of feels when I make John laugh in return. When the world is throwing its worst at you, it’s good to have levity and laughter to help you through. It brings you closer. I’m good for laughing when you’re totally not supposed to (read: every funeral, ever.) so I’m glad John’s a horrible person with me, and finds the funny in the sad times too.

5. Time Apart is Crucial

Yeah yeah, I know what I said earlier… but….I don’t care how great bae is. Sometimes you just need a break. Time apart to do things you enjoy all by your lonesome, or with family/friends without your significant other is so beneficial for a marriage. As a married person, sometimes you’ll turn and see your spouse and just be like “you again?!” ::sigh::  Time apart makes those moments way less frequent. It’s fun to have a life of your own. Especially as parents.

6. Little things count a whole lot

The Hollywood grand gesture shit is for the birds. (ok I’m lying, I LOVE a grand gesture…but still) Little, tiny, microscopic, every day easy to miss things mean so much. Bringing each other a well-timed cup of coffee, going out of turn with the poopy diapers, those random acts of kindess count for a lot. John does small things that satisfy my random quirks like leave me the ends of sausages (and that’s not a euphemism for anything dirty. I really just like the ends of sausages versus the boring middle part, they get crisper) and I remember I’m loved exactly as I am. That’s a good feeling yall.

So today is 5 years.

Last year it was our plan to take a cruise for this milestone anniversary. Now, we’re spending it apart and just having dinner together when I get back to town. Next year makes 15 years together for us, so we’ll make it up to each other with a nice celebration next summer.

What relationship lessons have you learned lately?

So John, since I know you’ll actually be reading the blog today: Hi. I love you. Thanks for a …pretty decent 5 years. 🙂  Thank you for the ends of sausages, and two clean mugs, and shutting up about my bad TV. Thanks for bringing home the bacon, for being a supportive husband and for always showering Ro. Thanks for baybays chicken and waffles, joint laziness, and letting me cry about stupid shit. Thanks for the d on the regs, coffee in the mornings, letting me try stuff and you doing all the scary things. Thanks for taking spiders and lizards out, and not caring that I do whatever I want. Thanks for teaching me stuff, being a great dad and also loving me long time. *muah* Happy Anniversary. Check your nightstand drawer for a surprise. 🙂 I’ll be expecting your text. xoxo

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  1. says

    Happy Anniversary!! Reg D lmbo you go girl 😉

    #1 – Our kid isn’t even here yet and I feel this way… Pregnancy is tough on that D game :,( Which brings me to…
    #3 – Only a BF can joke about lack of D while honestly not complaining about it because he knows pregnancy is tough (thanks to his older sister giving him the real about pregnancy!!)
    #6 – I love the Okay I like grand gestures lol

    • Dani says

      LOL yes having a BF is key and I’m sorry pregnancy is tough on you right now, but glad hubby “gets it”
      Hey who doesnt like a grand gesture LOL
      How are you feeling?

    • Dani says

      Thank you! And ::shudder:: to spiders. I’m starting to get better at not making a blood curdling scream, and just calmly (or i hope it’s calmly) calling for John to come trap it and set it outside. I dont want to give Ro and Kai the same complex.

  2. From Mrs to Mom says

    You’re stealing my life. Our birthdays are days apart and so is our wedding anniversaries. Happy Anniversary to you both!

  3. ellen beck says

    Happy Anniversary!
    We have been married 29 years.
    Here is what I learned or some of it anyway…. tell the truth even about smaall things and you will never have to lie cover a lie. Love your spouse all the time, you can dislike them for some things brifly, but deeply truly love them even when they might not love themselves. Be polite.

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