Girls, I’ve gotta tell you. Last night we started sleep training Roey. Something I never thought we’d do. Ever.
I’m feeling guilty and sad about it but I was able to sleep for 3 hours straight last night, for the first time in months.
OK lemme back track:
For the past 2 weeks I’ve been feeling funny. I’ve been getting dizzy, and at times when I’m sitting on my bed I’ll feel like I’m on a boat. It was weird but I figured I was dehydrated. So I started chugging water like nobody’s business and it still happened.
Then I fell. I never fall. If I ever trip or lose my balance I right myself.
So I figured I had an ear infection coming on or something. But there was no pain.
I told John this, thinking he’d tell me what to do about an ear infection and he was like, you need sleep. We need to sleep train Roey.
I’m like, nah your crazy, bye.
Then I get the bright idea to go on WebMD to see what could possibly be wrong with me and my balance/dizzies.
I put in my symptoms:
- headache
- dizziness
- loss of balance
- light flashes in eyes
A whole mess of diseases popped up, some of my favorites:
- PLAGUE!
- Multiple Sclerosis!
- Bird Flu!
Seriously, WebMD? Girls. Please don’t EVER use WebMD. It’s really the devil. You’ll end up a hypochondriac or convince yourself you’re dying.
Some more normal options came up too, like “Sleep Deprivation” which made me do a lil internal “DAMN!” John was right.
So…..we did the normal thing spouses do when one is right and the other doesn’t want them to be: we fought.
I’m like: “waaah waaah I am scared about sleep training and the message it sends to lil man. I feel like he’ll feel betrayed and scared and confused and unloved and insecure. waaah waaah He’s gunna hate us. He’s gunna starve. waaaah.”
John’s like: “Umm no. here’s some scientific study, here’s some other scientific study, facts, figures, bla bla bla, facts, more facts. Graph. Chart. Equation. WE’RE DOING THIS!”
I relented.
So we looked up the No Cry Solution, and all these other Now/Low Cry sleep training methods… and made a plan.
I got out earplugs and cried.
John got a stopwatch and a snack.
He was to be the master of ceremonies for this undertaking because I knew I couldn’t handle it. It just felt so wrong.
We did Roey’s usual night time routine, but instead of letting him fall asleep while nursing, I waited till he was juuuuuust about there, and unlatched him and put him down in bed.
And he cried.
…….And I soothed him (Yeah, I broke the rule immediately. John was pissed)
Then John took over and I went to bed and tried to let trash TV soothe my pain. (The Bachelor, anyone?)
I put him down at 7:45, he was asleep by 8:11 and he didn’t even cry the entire time. There were periodic check ins from John, soothing him, rubbing his back, cooing to him, shusshhing him, placing him back down and leaving again. He cried and then was like forget this, I guess I’ll just go to bed.
He didn’t wake up an hour later, or two, or three.
SIX hours later, he woke up and fussed, John went in and did the whole soothey thing. I wanted to run in there, hip check John and grab the boy and nurse him….but I just put in the earplugs and covered my head with a blanket, willed myself to stay there and told myself John could handle this.
THREE hours later he woke up an fussed and I woke up to his sounds (one earplug was nowhere to be found) and I was so engorged I nursed him and put him back down drowsy but not fully asleep. He fussed for 2.2 seconds, and by the time I left his room he was out.
This morning he woke at his usual time 7:30ish, stood up and started talking. I went to him and he was just a smiling, and squealy and happy as ever. He didn’t hate me!!
And I got 3 hours of straight sleep. Could’ve been 4 if I went to bed earlier. And then I got another 3 straight.
Rohan used to give us a 6-7 hour stretch of sleep, then a 3 hour stretch…but he just regressed I guess.
I’m really happy that he woke up in a great mood, but I wonder if this will do him any emotional harm. It just seems so mean and so uncaring. I know it’s not just letting him cry it out with no comforting or attention. But it still doesn’t sit right in my soul.
Three hours of straight sleep does sit right in my soul though. So, I’m feeling the mommy guilt, but doing it anyway.
::sigh::
Will I get over this mommy guilt? Do your babies sleep through the night? Did you Sleep Train?
Emma used to be on a schedule, and I see since I was off for the holidays that its all out of wack…so I will be in this same boat soon because we HAVE to get back on schedule! Because bed time used to be EASY but now its a total fight!!!
This picture is too cute…but I feel so bad when the lip comes out!!!
I hope you get her on a schedule again soon. She’s almost one, can you believe how fast that flew!?
I can’t speak on mommy guilt since I’m not a mommy, but Iyou do need to make sure you take care of yourself. I know motherhood is all about sacrificing, but you’re not doing anyone good if you can’t take care of yourself so you can give 200%.
Good luck. You’ll get the hang of it.
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I am gunna start getting more sleep again. Even though it hurts, this is the best thing for us. I’m gunna give 201% so there!
So proud of you Dani! I know this was super hard for you… but you did good! We sleep trained A really early in life… at 4 weeks. lol. less than 6 hours of sleep doesn’t work for us…at all. I was getting your symptoms that early in! Anywho… we had him in his room at 2 weeks and sleeping 6 hours by 5-6 weeks old. I don’t believe it affects them emotionally. They learn that their bed is where they sleep and that when they are laid down…it’s time to sleep. And also when it’s dark out.
He’s now 8 months old…sleeps 8-9 hours straight! …on saturday he’ll wake up…nurse and fall back asleep for another hour so we can sleep in too. 
Hang in there… you’ll be surprised how fast your routine works! No more mommy guilt… just blissful sleep!
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Awww thank you Kathy. DAG! You started early. You’re one well rested mommy huh!
Oh my goodness!! I was literally going to blog about this later this week! I know EXACTLY how you feel! We actually started our sleep training just after New year and believe me it worked! Like you we went for a more subtle and slower method and so far so good, we’re getting there little by little!
Well done Dani, it’s not easy but like my health visitor always used to say, a happy mummy means a happy baby…
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Great minds think alike. I’m glad it’s coming along for you. Keep me posted on how it goes please?!
the no cry sleep solution is the best! i used some of the suggestions in that book to night-wean my older son when he was 18 months old, because i was pregnant with number 2. prior to that, i never did any sort of sleep training. good luck to you; i hope rohan continues sleeping through the night so you can get your rest!
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Thank you. Yeah it seems slightly less heartless that way. But “NO” cry….. that’s a lie LOL.
I never did any sleep training. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the heart. Pookah did go through a stage where he just didn’t want to sleep, but we did the put him down when he’s drowsy. He just went with it. And he weaned himself around 11 months. But do what you need to do! If being sleep deprived is not working for you, do what you have to do!! And don’t be ashamed!! I think Roey will be fine!
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Hey I was thinking of you this morning….i forget why though. Maybe something photography related….whatever. Wow Pookah weaned himself too?! He’s gangsta.
I think everyone is happier when they get to sleep on a regular schedule; even baby. I’m not a mom but I’d be all over it. In fact, I didn’t even know there was a term sleep training or that some people did it and some don’t! Glad you got some sleep.
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Oh yeah, wait till you start reading more mommy stuff. There are always 2 camps, who thinks the other camp is wrong. Mommies are the judgiest bunch ever.
We sleep trained and fought over it too! We still have periods of sleep training with Nia especially following vacation or anything that messes up the regular schedule. DH was pained to hear Nia cry, but I’d time it and it was never for more than a few minutes. Since I’m the one spending most of my time with her it’s important that I’m well rested so it had to be done. It made it rough for DH having to get up for work in the morning and sometimes still causes issues when she wakes up in the middle of the night to get in our bed and I return her fussing to her bed, but again, this mommy needs her rest and a wild sleeping toddler in my bed doesn’t help me sleep.
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You’re so tough! I’m glad i worked well for you guys!
Yup, the mommy guilt will always get us no matter if we do right for us and our families.
We have never sleep trained (I’m too chicken and won’t allow Mr. C to do it). We did co-sleep with our first and plan on doing it with our second. Usually, it’s the teething that offsets the sleep pattern. But like everything else, it will pass.
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So this mommy guilt’s not going away eh? Dag. Yeah I think you’re right, the teething made things much worse.
So I know you know I have no babies but my sister did this and she seriously had 6+ hours of sleep since he was a newborn. He is 3 years old now and is obsessed with his mom. So I’m sure he’ll forgive you
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The sleep training is so hard…
Initially it was painful to see those tears like those on R’s sweet face and lip curl in their own baby ways as to say”mummy, why do you do this to me?” my hurt would turn itself up/down. but the guilt will pass in time.
We tried the cry-to-sleep method but we both couldn’t bare it. We are currently trying the no-cry-to-sleep method. She still cries but it’s working. When she is very tired she doesn’t complain too much. AOI becomes all mummy’s girl when i try to put her to sleep. Most nights daddy is great at putting her to sleep in max 20minutes. She didn’t sleep through the night until recently (after she turned 12 months), but she sleeps from 8:30/9pm until 5/5:30am, when she wakes this early i feed her and she falls back to sleep until 7/8. In that way i can do few things, writing/ blogging related
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I was going to blog about our sleep training saga with abby. I just haven’t gotten to it. Great minds think alike! My approach to mommy guilt is that this too shall pass. Your baby will start going to bed like a champ and will have learned the necessary life skill of self soothing and you will be more rested and better able to give him your all during the day! Happy mommy and happy baby. Good luck!