Giiiiiirls…I gotta testify.
Before I do, let me warn you…this post is partially about poop… Or the lack thereof.
You’ve been warned….
So…I have had a problem for…oh…let’s say….31 years it’s called constipation. I just didn’t poo. I tried every day…but I just couldn’t. Whenever this would come up in conversations with family/friends, they’d always have suggestions of what would “definitely” work:
- hot water w/ lemon
- fiber bars
- fiber cereal
- green veggies
- colon cleansers
- water on the hour
I tried ALL of it, and then some more. Nothing worked. I went vegetarian for a year or so, thinking it would help, it only made me poo every 6 days versus every week. I would do a medley of poop bringing techniques and would even (don’t laugh) meditate about my chakra that controls my gastrointestinal system. All to no avail.
I just couldn’t shit. Period.
I figured I was just doomed to poop weekly (if I was lucky), and with lots of…um…effort…required (read: grunting). And pain and strife. And sometimes ::sniff:: tears.
Enter my crazy “cousin” Nat.
He came to Rohan’s sip and see back in August all hopped up with excitement, carrying a bush and ranting and raving about how magical it was. He said “You’ll never go to the doctor again!” “It will cure any ailment!” Now, every time I see Nat he’s got some new magical powder, or tea, or something…so I was not impressed with this bush he was going on about.
Then I googled it. Moringa Oliefera. Turns out…this stuff is legit. Dr. Oz spoke about it:
And the moringa plant is used all over (not in the US of course, thanks to Big Pharma) to prevent disease and heal disease. Not just increase energy like Dr. Oz mentioned.
My family in Florida, we all got suckered into crazy Nat’s salespitch. He gave everybody plants. And then my aunts went to the nursery and bought more…just in case.
So, Gram started making tea w/ the fresh leaves of the plant. I drank it each morning for about a week. My vain hope was that it would help clear up the skin on my face. Maybe give me more energy if I was lucky.
Instead…..I got thrush in my mouth.
FYI That’s called A YEAST INFECTION.
Remember when I told you about formula feeding baby boy while I was on meds? Well, that’s why.
How gross is that?!
Thanks a lot Moringa! You filthy bitch, you.
So, I took my meds for the thrush, figured that moringa was the devil, and kept it moving
Until I realized…I’d been moving!
I’d been pooping daily ever since day 4 of drinking the tea!!
Hold Up. Waaaaaiiit.
So of course I went through the disbelief that something could actually make poop come out of me. I tried to think if anything else was different about what I was doing, eating, drinking etc… Nope.
I don’t know if I had some weird overgrowth of yeast that needed to come out? I don’t know if I had something binding that just had to be released and came out in the form of yeast? I don’t know if the moringa just eradicated a bacteria that was clogging me, and also eradicated the good bacteria too. I just don’t know.
All I know is I’ve been pooping daily ever since, and I FEEL GREEEEAAAATTT!!!
(i hope you read the “i feel great” the way oprah would say it.)
If you dont know the vice grip of death, that is constipation, then you won’t get the true meaning of the freedom and joy moringa has brought into my life. I’m a daily pooper yall!!
I CAN POOP!!!!
There are other gastrointestinal moringa benefits for me. I am less gassy after eating certain foods (read: dairy) and I have had no tummy aches since. I am going to re-up on fresh moringa leaves when I go back down to Florida, but until then I’m going with this brand: Moringa Source
(FYI: this is an affiliate link, if you buy from them, I get a few pennies thrown my way! So if you go…please buy $48,000,000 worth of moringa stuff )
You can find Moringa Products on Amazon too, if you prefer shopping there.
There are more than just teas and pills, there are beauty products that incorporate moringa as well. I think I’m going to try some out. I bet one day I’ll wake up looking better than Halle after using moringa!
OK, well…maybe it’ll clear up my face like it cleared out my poop chute. (was that gross?)
Have you tried moringa yet?