That’s how I feel when I think about this coming weekend.
I know it’s dramatic…whatevs.
I’m heading to Blogher’s conference in NYC on Friday and Saturday, and on Thursday night I’m going to a blogger party sponsored by The Baby Shopaholic.
I am grateful and excited to be able to attend these events and I know I will have an incredible time…but I am allowing “Mommy Guilt” to weasel its way into my psyche. I will have to leave Sharkie with his dad on Thursday, Friday, and most of Saturday. He’s dropping little man off to me at the conference on Saturday afternoon before he goes to work.
I’ll be away from the boy for HOURS…lots of hours. I don’t even want to count them up right now or I may get teary.
I get a lump in my chest when I think about leaving the house without him. I almost get misty thinking of how much I will miss him.
I left him for 2.5 hours to go to the doctor once. It about broke me. (And when I got home John complained that I called and texted too many times. Oops)
I’ve also left him for 1/2 hour stretches while I go jogging. (But I go when he’s asleep so I don’t feel so bad about it.)
I’m pumping as much as I can so John has a nice stash of breastmilk for him, so I know he won’t starve. John is a great hands on dad so I know Roey will be 100% taken care of, and happy.
So why is leaving him making me so crazy in the head?
I feel a little selfish I guess. I could easily take him along with me and just wear him both days to the conference. It would be a little inconvenient leaving the sessions to breastfeed, and change him, and walk when he gets fussy…but…it’s doable. Just not desirable.
Does that make me an irresponsible mom?
Is 7 weeks is too soon to be away from him that long?
Will he forget me?
Will he forget how to suck from my nipple after taking a bottle all day?
Will I be able to pump easily at the conference?
I’m nervous and keep going back and forth in my head about taking him. John thinks I’m insane.
Maybe I am.
::sigh::
How old was your little one when you left them alone for the first time?
My Son was six weeks old when I went back to work and it about killed me. I called his dad at least 5 times during the day to his irritation lol. Now big sexy (my son’s nickname) is 3 months old and I still find myself getting choked up when I leave for work in the morning.
With this last baby, I think she was like 3 weeks old when my mom first kept her for the weekend. I was in desperate need of a date night!
This Cookn’ Mom recently posted..You Got a 5 yr Old?
I left both my kids at around 3 weeks with someone so I could get out of the house I was going mad I tell you mad. It’s good to get away for a few hours
Kita recently posted..Blogger 411
The first time I think was around 4 hours and every time I thought of her I began lactating which created a very embarrassing but memorable moment. For my son, I was a bit more prepared. LOL.
Seems like everyone is going to BlogHer.. Perhaps I’ll see you all next year. (:
Carla recently posted..The Mommy Graduate.
The first time I left my little guy was for 4 hours and I thought he would forget me too! Now I can’t get him to stop clinging to my leg, lol!
The Mrs./The Mom recently posted..Help us choose
The first time I left Moo for over thirty minutes I think she might have been two months. I went to get something from my mom’s and ended up staying for a bit. We spent our first night apart when she was 2.5 years old. I haven’t been away from JJ for longer than an hour. Having two kids with so many allergies and living in a city without any family, there really aren’t many chances to be without them and I kinda like it.
I would say if you’re having such anxiety about it have them come visit you Friday during your lunch break or something? And if you decide you want to keep him for the rest of the conference that day so be it. Either way enjoy BlogHer and don’t let the Mommy Guilt suck you in.
YUMMommy recently posted..Year of the AstroBrights
Awww….I can only imagine!! He will be fine and of course he will remember you…
The first time I had to leave my baby was when i had to travel for a funeral…It was so tough because on top of everything else – there was no way for me to communicate as much as I needed (ok – wanted to). My baby is now 18months old and it still seems like I am the one with the seperation anxiety – I have to admit though, when you come back the welcome reception is amazing!
Daphne recently posted..Happy Afro Indepencence Day
Aww that’s so sweet. You will be fine. I suggest taking a cue from Tia Mowry and have hubby send you a picture of him every hour on the hour to your cell.
Terri recently posted..A Surefire Way to Lift Your Spirits: Revisit high school
He’s certainly old enough to spend some quality time with his daddy. Enjoy the conference. I’m sure it’s a very natural feeling, but he will be so excited to see you when you get back each day.
Monique recently posted..Film Fridays: Beasts of the Southern Wild
every woman is different, do what is best for you. this would be way too early for me, but i’m very over-bearing, lol.