I’m Abandoning My Son

That’s how I feel when I think about this coming weekend.

I know it’s dramatic…whatevs.

I’m heading to Blogher’s conference in NYC on Friday and Saturday, and on Thursday night I’m going to a blogger party sponsored by The Baby Shopaholic.

I am grateful and excited to be able to attend these events and I know I will have an incredible time…but I am allowing “Mommy Guilt” to weasel its way into my psyche.  I will have to leave Sharkie with his dad on Thursday, Friday, and most of Saturday. He’s dropping little man off to me at the conference on Saturday afternoon before he goes to work.

I’ll be away from the boy for HOURS…lots of hours. I don’t even want to count them up right now or I may get teary.

I get a lump in my chest when I think about leaving the house without him. I almost get misty thinking of how much I will miss him.

I left him for 2.5 hours to go to the doctor once. It about broke me. (And when I got home John complained that I called and texted too many times. Oops)

I’ve also left him for 1/2 hour stretches while I go jogging. (But I go when he’s asleep so I don’t feel so bad about it.)

I’m pumping as much as I can so John has a nice stash of breastmilk for him, so I know he won’t starve.  John is a great hands on dad so I know Roey will be 100% taken care of, and happy.

So why is leaving him making me so crazy in the head?

I feel a little selfish I guess. I could easily take him along with me and just wear him both days to the conference. It would be a little inconvenient leaving the sessions to breastfeed, and change him, and walk when he gets fussy…but…it’s doable. Just not desirable.

Does that make me an irresponsible mom?

Is 7 weeks is too soon to be away from him that long?

Will he forget me?

Will he forget how to suck from my nipple after taking a bottle all day?

Will I be able to pump easily at the conference?

I’m nervous and keep going back and forth in my head about taking him.  John thinks I’m insane.

Maybe I am.

::sigh::

How old was your little one when you left them alone for the first time?

Follow Me!

Writing that post title immediately made me think of this song:

Do you fastclap to that song too or is it just me and my fam? Do you know what I mean?

…..now I feel like dancing….

Anywaaaay…

Follow me! :)

Twitter: @daniellefaust

Youtube: www.youtube.com/whimsycurl

Facebook: www.facebook.com/okdani

Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/okdani

Instagram: okdani

Google+: danielle faust  (Dani .)

Kinda obsessed with instagram and twitter these days, and starting to get back into youtube.

Damn you social media!!! ::shaking fist::

Apropos of nothing: Old Navy is having a great sale that ends 7/30 -  25% off of everythaang! ONSAVE25 is the code. Enjoy!

Adventures in Babywearing: Volume 1

 

Ever since finding out I was preggo I thought I’d be wearing my baby in a carrier, versus pushing him in a stroller, but I didn’t picture myself wearing him around the house until a little while ago.  Babywearing is so convenient and great for a touchyfeely, semi-attachment parenting mom like me who just wants to snuggle her little bundle all the time.  As soon as Rohan hit 8lbs I was ready to pop him into a carrier instead of carrying him around looseygoosey in my arms.  We have a wrap style carrier, and a soft structured style carrier and he seems to enjoy them both.

I didn’t know what a rarity babywearing was! I thought it was more mainstream but I guess it’s not. We get stared at whenever we’re in public (and here I thought it was just because of our striking beauty lol) and several people have come up to me to ask questions about the carriers. I’m happy to share what little I know with them.

Wearing Roey lets me get most of my “upright” chores done around the house and happily lulls him to sleep. It also lets me sniff his awesome smelling head (it’s like crack!) whenever I want to throughout the day. John and I even take him to the jogging track in it. (we switch off walking with him and jogging without him)

Our wrap carrier is a Moby and after my first million failed attempts at getting it on correctly, I finally got it! And now I love it! It was a friendly commenter here that suggested I look at “real moms” on youtube to see how to wear it, and it totally worked.  So thank you From Mrs to Mom! My only negative about this carrier is that I have to put it on in advance before going out. I can’t put it on or adjust it while I’m outside the house or the ends will drag on the filthy ground. This makes handing him over to daddy impossible while we’re in a store or something. No spontaneity whatsoever.

The soft sided carrier we have is the Ergobaby Performance. This carrier is awesome because it adjusts to my size and John’s size quickly and we can get Rohan in and out easily no matter where we are. John feels more comfortable wearing this carrier, it’s definitely more male friendly since it looks like a backpack, versus a piece of fabric. Rohan tolerates getting into this carrier slightly less than our Moby, but once he’s in, he’s a happy camper. It’s easy to adjust while wearing it too.

Both carriers are light and comfortable, and feel very secure.  They’re so freeing and help me be a bit more productive during the day. The only thing I cannot do in them is bend over without supporting Sharkie with my hand. If I want to sit and write or prep food, the Moby wins out over the more bulky feel of the Ergobaby.

I was considering getting a sling style carrier, but now that John and I are so comfortable in these, it’s not necessary. I read that you can breastfeed in the Moby so I will try that out soon. So far, loving the whole babywearing experience.

Do you wear your baby? What reactions did you receive? What style carrier do you have? Does your partner wear your little one too? Any babywearing tips for me?

John’s CameraPhone Photo Dump

Just some randoms from John’s phone:

Not sure what I was trying to do here…

From his first sponge bath I think…Looks like the alligator is swallowing him up.

John had this nasty note left on his car one day…..

Look how he was parked:

That’s not so bad!

This is how Sharkie sucked his thumb in his early days.

I kinda love it!

Really? Glad that’s cleared up!

Albert Einstein lives! Can you spot him? (PS have you ever pretended to take a picture so you can take a picture of a stranger or is it just us?)

First  time meeting Sharkie

After first post-partum run. (ok, not RUN…but jog/walk..mostly walk…)

This is red rock canyon during last october’s vacay.

15 minutes later this was the view from inside the car….

Dunno where the snowstorm came from…. but 1/2 hour later….

Sun’s out again and everything was DRY!  (How’d you do that MotherNature?)

Yes, this is my son’s primary male role model. ::sigh:: There’s no hope.

I’ll be back tomorrow with a post of substance I promise!! Till then enjoy the randomness :)

How often do you check out your camera photos?

Blogger 411

I’m a copycat.

I stole this from a blogger I love, Carissa, The Green Eyed Lady. (check her and her adorable Emma out)
Here are the original questions with my answers, but I want you to answer as many or as few as you’d like also (I’m nosy)!
1. How long have you been blogging? And what got you started on blogging? Has your blog changed?
I started blogging about natural hair when I made the transition from texlaxed to natural. I now semi-keep that blog at http://www.longnaturalhair.info.  I guess I’ve been at it since 2008.  I started OKDani in 2010 but added my old hair posts to it so the archives go back to 08/09.
My blog has definitely changed and will continue to. It’s a lifestyle blog so as my life changes, the blog will too. I now consider myself a blogger, and have goals for the blog versus doing it for a sometimey hobby.

2. Did you go to college? If so where, and what did you study?
I started at University of Delaware and ended at York College. I got my BS in Health Ed & Promotion with Psych
3. Where have you traveled?

DR and Mexico multiple times. Guatemala, Sweden and Denmark, All over the US, All over the Caribbean.

4. If you won the lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy?

I’d immediately pack up our apartment and move to Florida, buy a big house in Royal Palm Beach near my family, pay for John’s med school, set up funds for my kids and give to my family/friends.

Oh wait...first thing I’d buy…I guess the first class tickets to Florida… or buying the moving company’s services to pack the apartment for us.

5. What are your 3 biggest pet peeves?

This changes….but today I’ll say:

  • closed minds and ignorance
  • slow internet signals
  • people who nod and say “uh huh” the entire time while you’re speaking

6. What is your favorite movie?

Don’t tease me, but Legally Blonde is one of my faves.  Along with Tombstone, Clueless and Bye Bye Birdie…the old one. (most of Rohan’s lullabyes come from that musical, and Oliver!)

(By favorite, I mean, I could watch them over and over and over and know them word for word)

7. What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor. Or Water, Soda, Tea?

Water by far. White wine: specifically Reisling. And Teas.  I can’t stand beer and have to really be in the mood to have soda.

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?

Catch up on everyone’s blogs! Deep condition my hair. Write in my journal. Read books or stuff online.

9. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be?

Does Amazon count? That’s where I do most of my shopping.  If Amazon is out, then I’d say Macy’s or Nordstrom or Bloomies.  They have a nice variety, and the prices are low enough that the $10k will go far.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past? Or present.

Not sure… I have had some embarrassingly bad auditions in the past. Otherwise I don’t get embarrassed too much.

11. What day would you love to relive again?

To relive and change? Or relive as it is?

To change: Rohan’s birthday and my wedding day

To relive as it is: A few of the days from our honeymoon trip to Mexico last year. It was glorious.

12. If your life was turned into a movie… what actor would play you?

Me!!

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?

In HS was a holiday greeter at the Manhattan Mall with my 2 besties and then worked at Kids Foot Locker when I was 16.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college.

I don’t have any on the comp :(

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?

Safari in some African country, tour around eating my way through Europe, and to Tahiti to chill in an overwater hut.

16. Show us the most current picture of you or you, or your family, or anything of meaning to you. 

17. Where do you see your life 5 years from now?

In Florida, working part time, growing my business, raising Rohan, loving John, and extremely happy.

Your turn!! I want to know more about you all!!

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