(I’m truly a moron, I thought I pressed publish to have this post yesterday evening!
Guess not. Here it is anyway!! )
A week ago right now, I was on my hands and knees on a hospital bed, an oxygen mask strapped to my face, leaking lots of gross stuff, and stricken with fear like I’d never known. My mom and husband were right by my side, rubbing my back, feeding me ice chips, distracting me (well, trying to), trying to get questions answered by doctors, and mostly staring at the baby’s monitor to see how each contraction impacted him.
It was rough and scary.
Right now I am on my back in my cozy bed, my son to my left, my husband to my right, my mom in the kitchen making…something that smells good. I am swollen, tired, achey and happier than I’ve ever been, ever.
What a difference a week makes.
I LOVE being a mommy. I love everything about my beautiful baby boy. Every sound he makes is amazing. Every squishy facial expression is the best thing ever. I’m just so in love. It feels so natural caring for him and doing for him. In a weird way I just feel like we’ve known each other already, and he’s not brand new. And when we lock eyes and just stare at each other, it just melts me. He’s everything and I’m so lucky to have him.
Rohan’s a good baby so far. Not fussy at all. Cries a bit when he’s hungry and I don’t whip out the boob fast enough for him and is fussy on the changing table sometimes. (Had my first “bad mommy” experience on that changing table when I accidentally touched his newly circumcised peeny and made the poor child scream bloody murder. I felt like total crap.) He enjoys being swaddled and snuggled, and is so alert looking around, making great eye contact and the best faces ever. He’s a big eater, and sleeps well. Sadly he sleeps better in the day than at night but we’ll get that taken care of as he gets older. Pediatrician told us he’s totally healthy, Yay!
I’m learning his habits, and what his lil faces mean. like the “I’m about to drop a load” face, or the “you’ve got 2 seconds to pop that boob in my mouth or else” face. Rohan already has a new nickname, Sharkie, because of how he attacks the boob. My lil shark is milkthirsty so don’t stand in his way, you may get hurt!
I’m figuring out the best order to do things in and I’m sure we’ll get more efficient as time goes by. John and I have a good system worked out for the nighttime care. I go to bed early and he handles the 1 or 2am feeding/change while I sleep through to the 5am feeding/change. I take the 5am and on, and let John sleep in. During the day I try to grab a nap during one of Sharkie’s naptimes if I can. Being in pain and on bedrest this week made things harder than they will be when I’m all healed up.
This past week seemed to fly by and didn’t seem as taxing as I expected it to be. Let’s see if I eat my words now that my mom is leaving us to fend for ourselves and John’s returning to work full time starting this weekend. I may have to come back in another post and eat crow, but I’m putting it out there that I think it’ll probably not be so bad.
Cross your fingers for us!
What was your first week home with baby like? Any advice for brand new parents? And why didn’t any of you tell me how overwhelming and all encompassing these feelings of love were? My goodness!