Body Issues Life Lesson

I’ve been asked by some friends about this, and have noticed this issue posted on some online friends’ blogs (including www.mamademics.com, a great new blog) and thought I’d just share my experience and opinion of the pregnancy body issue.

Before getting pregnant I worried about how much weight I’d gain (I wanted to gain tons so I’d have a nice fat baby, but on the other side, I didn’t want to get and stay big), if I’d be able to lose the weight, the stretch marks (I’m still worried about those damn things), if my nose would stretch from ear to ear, if my feet would go up a size (please God no, I have too many size 7 shoes I love), and all of that.

Now that I’m actually pregnant, I’m AMAZED at the changes in my body more than anything else.  My body naturally knows to stretch and grow to accommodate another human inside of it!!  Initially I was worried, because my belly was getting a little bigger and the number on the scale was staying the same…and then getting lower (I didn’t share this here…or with John until after the fact…. but I lost a good 10 lbs and was FREAKING out…on the inside) But once I started gaining weight, and feeling like a proper pregnant woman, all thoughts of “I hope I don’t get too huge” went right out the window.

I’m a naturally small person, you know, you’ve seen my pics.  I’ve been slim all my life and that’s just how I am.  My parents are slim and my brother is slim  When I was younger, sure I got weight comments every now and then, but I ate like a beast so I knew my size was just the size I was supposed to be, so all the people commenting could just suck it.

Now that I’m pregnant, the comments are a lot more frequent.  From strangers and from “friends” who have children already, mostly.

  • You’ve got so long to go, you’re going to be huge by the end  (um, DUH, I’d hope so!)
  • That pregnancy mask is starting
  • Just you wait, you’re gunna blow up soon.
  • Your nose is starting to grow
  • Are you eating enough for that baby?
  • You haven’t gained enough weight (how the F do you know, beyotch?)
  • You really should eat more. Is that all you’re eating?
  • Should you be eating that? It’ll stick to you after pregnancy.
  • You better breastfeed so that weight will come off.

In my head I’m like, “please shut the fuck up” but on the outside I’m just like “I’m healthy, and my baby’s healthy” and just leave it at that.

But sidebar: what on earth gives strangers the right to tell you about yourself?  I guess when you’re pregnant you’re fair game?

::shrug::

What is a big change that I’ve noticed since getting bigger is, while I look at my growing pregnant body with awe and joy and excitement, I realize I no longer feel sexy.  I don’t feel desirable. John has started a campaign against my feelings of unsexiness, bless his heart, but it’s still how I’m feeling.  I feel awkward and heavy, cumbersome and unweildy and that doesn’t help the mojo when you’re ‘getting down’ nahmean? (neither does a well timed kick to your ribs or a baby somersault…..thanks a lot for ruinin the mood Embry!)

I don’t worry about keeping the baby weight on after he’s born, despite what people say.  I love to run and work out, so I know once the doctor OKs me I’ll be getting back in shape eventually.  Though, I doubt I’ll have the time or desire, as I’ll probably be spending my time just staring at a beautiful baby boy all day and all night and not want to do anything else with my life but that, but at least the weight is not a pressing concern right now. 

That said: I can totally see myself freaking out one day like a month post partum when I look in the mirror post-shower and see myself all loose and saggy, and heavier without the baby inside to take the blame and immediately going for a 10 mile run or something crazy. HA!

Honestly, thinking about this pregnancy and how it effects my body image kinda feels silly to me, overall.  Yeah I go on about the stretch marks, but seriously, I’d take tiger stripes from head to toe if it meant my little guy is born 100% healthy and well.  So I feel unsexy for a while, it’s temporary, and John’s still happy so what’s the big deal?  Bigger feet? I’d get to buy new shoes!!  All the aches and pains, heartburn, uncomfortable sleep, feeling heavy, unable to stand easily, unable to roll over in bed without a fork lift and an oxygen tank….in the grand scheme, it doesn’t matter one bit.

I’m freaking pregnant!  I’ve kinda got an important job to do.  I have a miraculous little life developing inside of me.  I’m experiencing these discomforts because my son is growing healthy and strong, and he’s comfortable, and he’s well, and he’s cozy, and he’s getting bigger and better.  So, if I barf, or ache, or get obscenely obese, or my chest cavity is aflame…it doesn’t matter.

I’m trying to remember this daily.  I was complaining to John (okay, and everyone else who’ll speak to me for more than 2 seconds) every day about each and every ache, pain, burn, twinge, hickup etc…  How annoying is that?  I don’t focus on the negative in other aspects of my life, so why on earth was I going on about the negatives in this, the most amazing thing going on in my life right now?  Yuck!

So I’m on a complaining diet.  And even though when John IMs me midday asking “how are you feeling?” I want to spit my TUMS at my computer screen and say something snarky.  I just say, “I’m great, Embry’s moving around.”..or whatever.  So far, so good.

How did your changing body impact you during pregnancy?

GET IT DONE: IN  25 MINUTES A DAY!
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Happily married mom of two.

About Dani

Happily married mom of two.

  • http://saywhatuwanna.com kita

    I gained with my son but it came right off after I gave birth with my daughter I gained nothing and I gained more weight after she was born. Your body will change though

  • http://www.mamademics.com Bella Rose

    Thanks for the shoutout :)

    I like your take on this issue and how cheerful you’re being. I definitely can relate in regards to trying not to complain, which for me has been relatively easy because I’ve had a pretty smooth pregnancy. I agree with you on feeling very cumbersome and awkward in my new body, but like your husband mine is loving my new body and reassuring me. You’re right we’re doing a wonderful and amazing thing right now and people need to just suck it :)

  • http://www.thiscooknmom.blogspot.com This Cookn’ Mom

    I gained like 20 pounds with each pregnancy. I actually wanted to keep some of the weight! With my first and second all the weight came off within a month. I lost all my weight with this last one, but I still have a little pudge. I may have to start working out to get rid of it.

    I could not roll over in bed without getting up and completely turning around. That made me feel extra big!

  • http://pvtfamily.blogspot.com/ Pegster

    This is so beautiful. I just love your take on the whole body issue thing. Pregnancy is a funny thing like that and people definitely feel like they have free reign to say anything (and I mean everything under the sun).
    From my experience, pregnancy was one of the best experiences of my life. My son was worth all the discomfort, pain, body transformation and more so much so that I am ready to do it again :).
    One thing people always told me that I felt was almost pointless was “you are going to be so hot being pregnant in the middle of Summer” my response in my head was always “no shit sherlock but I don’t mind it.” (how is telling me that doing anything for me)

  • http://bloggingwhilenursing.com KalleyC

    Great take on this! People do feel like pregnant women are an easy target to talk about body issues and weight gain. Dunno why.

    I like your take on it though, very positive.

    When I was pregnant, I felt like a cow, but Mr. C loved it. Men are funny that way. After I gave birth, Ioved my body so much more because I respected it for everything it could do.

  • http://mr-mrspancakes.blogspot.com Mrs. Pancakes

    i can understand the feelings related to weight gain..i think it’s only natural to feel this way. its great you are talking it out loud…i would HATE for people to just talk about you and not know you…even when they know you…i think it would be annoying. Have an awesome weekend!

  • http://www.harlemlovebirds.com Quiana

    I can’t believe people said all those awful things! I think it’s a vicious cycle – someone must have said something like that to them so they continue it. Just terrible! I get you on the not feeling sexy part and honestly that is what’s holding me back from baby #2. I missed my little body especially during the 3rd trimester. Breastfeeding definitely helped post baby, but during pregnancy I dreaded seeing those #s on the scale during my weigh-ins and how awful my dr. made me feel about them even though I was within my normal range. I’d say just ignore anyone who tries to make you feel bad – they’re just jealous!

  • http://www.craftyearthmama.com craftyearthmama

    Great attitude and congrat’s on your little one! I encountered some body issues at the beginning of my pregnancy as well. As a child I was overweight and have spent my adulthood vigilantly keeping that weight off. Once I got pregnant, weight gain was out of my control. When I started seeing the numbers climb, I got a bit freaked out, but then I realized…I am GROWING a human being inside of me. It’s all good! Oh yeah and stretchies, I wear my like a badge of honor. Hey it happens when you house a human being for 10 months :)
    Stay positive and forget all those silly comments. People really can be dumb!

  • http://www.learningtoenjoytherain.blogspot.com Mrs. K

    I had similar feelings during pregnancy and did the same thing…focused on the fact that my baby was healthy and growing. I totally get you though…I have always been thin and health conscious so the pregnancy was a challenge. It’s been almost a month since I had our little boy and the weight has been shedding without me doing too much (haven’t gotten the ok to start working out yet). But once I do I’ll gradually work my way up to my usual routine. I don’t have a scale in my house so I don’t know how much I’ve actually lost but I feel I don’t look too shabby. LOL. Hubby agrees too. :). Best of luck with everything!

  • http://sophistishe.com Sheena

    I’m a naturally thin person so I totally feel you on the negative size/weight comments, UGH. I gained about 20lbs with my son and I loved the extra weight. I was trying to keep some for myself and of course it all fell of after delivery and what was left sucked up while breastfeeding. My feet didn’t grow and I didn’t get pregnancy nose, lol, thank goodness. I wasn’t on top of stretch mark prevention like I should have been, but I hardly have any. My husband loved the extra plumpness. I never felt unsexy but the complete opposite. I felt like a real, authentic woman. “Getting down”, lol, was more difficult than ever because I was just big (haha), but we made it work. :)

  • Shanna

    “get obscenely obese” hahaha, you are truly hilarious. good luck on the little one! :-)

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