Marriage….

I just read this story on a great blog: The Baby Plan…and I had to share:

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I
held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t
know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want
a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question.
This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30%
stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to
be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late
and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went
straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an
eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the
table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want
anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested
that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t
want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to
me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her
into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for
the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s
divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then
to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to
work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us
acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long
time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute
I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted
her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given
ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our
sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made
me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that
was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit
me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and
said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his
mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son
to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was
afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On
the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had
gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked
upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the
divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry,
Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each
other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed
to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst
into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop
on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me
what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -
dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with
Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me
from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the
divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank.
These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in
themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things
for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If
you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people
who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

New Year’s Eve Party (and Aftermath)

My aunt threw a fabulous NYE party at her house this year.  It was my best NYE yet!  Surrounded by family, and didn’t have to get dressed up or travel to any events!

No long talking, here are some pics:

john looks like a wizard, and daddy looks like his apprentice

what’s a party w/o the electric slide?

me and my big little brother

Garrison’s smile is so fake, and why is John sneaking in the back

Showing off the special NYE tiara

my gram and my aunt who threw the party (she’s got the tiara on backwards)

my aunt and uncle

the singer from the band had some fun with one of the guests (yikes!)

mi familia!

what is daddy doing you ask? is he touching the fireworks flame with his hand??

nope, he was just lighting his cigarette on a firework!  only daddy.

Randomness: 
Now, after the party…..the bartender they hired got her van stuck in the yard….(i was passed out er…sleeping at this point so I don’t have any pics) …and apparently there was a fiasco trying to get her out.  Everyone tried pushing, pulling, using their cars, using things to jimmy her out…it lasted for at least an hour apparently…then they called to get a tow.
The tow company said they couldn’t come for her until 7 in the morning! so….the bartender slept over my aunt’s house!  Thank god we weren’t weirdos and thank god she wasn’t either.  Can you imagine going to work and having to sleep over your clients house?!  Kooky.

I don’t have pics of the van stuck or the top notch rescue team (daddy, john, all my uncles and male cousins) at work, but I do have a pic of the damage to my aunt’s yard.

Those holes are deep!! That bartender was really stuck in there!!

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